I am a 51 year old Dad with his wife, who are having a problem with their 5 yr old boy, who challenges us on every issue, Eating,Chore's,Doing what he is told to do. We have tried everything we can think of and are now reaching out for help. No matter what the situation our (really great) most of the time son, will not listen and do what is asked of him, it has to end up in a yelling and shouting match to get him to stop doing things that are driving us nuts,or we are forced.because nothing else has worked, to threaten to take away a game or toy to get him to eat(he's 13lbs under weight, but healthy) or to stop a behavor that he is doing over,and over, even after being told to stop it three times until one of us yells at him. He refuses to listenen here at home and at daycare(time outs are a joke). We don't expect him to be perfect, but in the same thought, we shouldn't have to tell him to stop what hes is doing that is bothering everyone or to do what he is told to do 5 times, until he gets yelled at, and then he says he isn't doing it and begs you to believe him. Please any help with this would be greatly appreciated.
Going gray Daddy
If you go over to the child behavior forum, you will find numerous posts on 4,5, and 6 year olds. I would say that this age group has far and away the most posts for behavioral problems. And you will find many helpful suggestions. So its worth your time to scroll through several pages.
However, a problem you also seem to have is - is this just a common kid wanting to get his own way - or is there more involved.
He could be compulsive - and thus have a hard time stopping his actions.
He could have ADHD or ADD - and since he reacts quickly with no filters, he doesn't realize what he has done till he does it (and many times not even then).
For just the good ole normal "out of control 5 year old" stuff, the standard is immediate, consistent consequences. Time outs if done this way should be effective. A very good book that discusses this in depth is - "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark. The trouble with threatening to take away a toy or asking 3 times to stop is that it teaches the child that they don't have to listen. Thats why the immediate consistent consequence is so important. By the way, experts say it takes about 3 weeks on consistent, immediate consequences to change a behavior - so don't expect overnight miracles. If carefully following this proceedure (and the preschool doing the same) doesn't work, then it might be time to get some professional help. Best wishes.
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