oh my god...
sometimes I'm at my wits end with my oldest...
My son is 7 years old and was diagnosed with ADD / ADHD at the age of 5 in August 2011. He is currently on 30mg of Vyvanse a day because at the time he was not capable of learning coping skills. We continually work with the school, the behavioral specialist (at school) and his family doctor but... it's like I can't reach him sometimes...
Sorry, I will get the question :)
In the past we noticed our son was sneaking food into his room late at night and hiding the wrappers ( chip bags or nutrigrain bars). We talked to the doctor and she said that as he is coming off the Vyvanse he will get more and more hungry. So, we started doing a bedtime snack... well, he still continued to take food to his room. When we told him if he gets hungry later, just get a snack and sit in the kitchen and eat it there. We would be fine with it but please, in the kitchen.
Well, the other week we noticed he was taking food into his room (little brother tattled) and we talked to him again about it and we thought we had it cleared up. He came out of his room a couple nights this week and asked for snacks, which we were fine with and gave him.
So, this morning I wake up and stumble into the kitchen to let the dog outside. As I stood there I kept hearing this scraping noise. I looked over at the pantry and saw that my cereal box was gone...
I quickly went to his room, nope not there.... I saw the light on in his bathroom and opened the door to find my 7 year old sitting on the floor with a box full of cereal, mouth stuffed and just like "what?"
I'm in tears now... I sent him to his room and doled out he could not watch TV for a week, no computer or leapster games and he just was like "ok".... even the punishments seem to not phase him.
So ... what am I doing wrong? Why is he lying and hiding when I have given him the okay? I have no support when it comes to his ADHD. THe mothers I have met around here about it (at Taekwondo) seem upset I would even given him meds and dont want to really talk to me. I love him so much and I want to help him but sometimes he is so detached and then other times the kid has so much empathy. Any help would be great... I just want him to have as normal of a life as he can.
He can be sweet and helpful at times; he can be a holy terror to his brother at times. He is like a typical child except for the symptoms he has with the ADHD; things like the lying, hiding, sneaking, lack of desire, procrastination.
I'm looking at picking up the book I see referenced in almost every post here. I went to B&N and read through some of it today and I hope I can pick it up at the library. However, I have worked with him on 1-2-3 Magic and read the ADHD book by the same author.
I think that you will find the book, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley very helpful. Its only about $10 on Amazon and you will use it for years.
I am also the CL on the child behavior site. Kids sneaking food is a pretty common topic over there. The standard answer by our posters is keep good healthy foods available and let them eat.
I really think that you are making a huge deal about something that kind of pales compared to the other problems he could be having. Kids of his age do not have a lot of self control. And if they have ADHD and are off the meds, they have virtually none. He can be eating before he is even aware of it. Actually, most parents complain about their child NOT eating and losing weight - which actually is a pretty serious thing.
I get the feeling the the real issue is when you say, " Why is he lying and hiding when I have given him the okay?" He is NOT really doing this to disobey you. He is doing this because of his medical condition. The more you learn about ADHD and get a feeling for where he is coming from, the more you will understand and be able to help him.
This site has a lot of useful tips on raising kids with ADHD. Its worth your time to check it out.
And this site by CHAD is also very good - http://www.help4adhd.org/en/living/parenting/WWK2
And please, if you have any more questions or need support - please post! Best wishes.
Children don't tell you everything, and that goes even for children who do not have a discernible problem. My middle daughter would stuff food, mostly dry stuff, under her mattress, in her sock drawer. under her pillow.... It drove me nuts. I took it to mean that she wanted handy supplies in case she got hungry. (I never got a sensible information from her.)
Now she is an adult, and when I brought up this annoying habit she had had, I learned that she hated breakfast and would hide as much of it as she could so I would think she ate it.
Putting aside the conversations you are having with your son, why do you think he is sneaking food and lying about it? There has to be a reason. And the reason can be a very childish one.
I am going to purchase the Answer Book sometime this week. I went through it the other day and found some of the information interesting and helpful. Alot less sciencific and more to the point.
Thank you for the websites too - as I said, many people around here look alittle down on me because I have mediciated my son; however, when he isn't on his meds, he cannot focus, he cannot cope - though I have gotten him little things like bracelets and toys to keep his hands busy, especially regarding his tics like pushing at his hair, rubbing his ears.
I don't really know... I have asked him why and he states either the following "I get carried away" or "I forgot you told me to eat it in the kitchen"
He will lie about alot - we have to tell him we wont be mad at him, just tell us the truth. He also seems to have this innate fear we might hurt him. Examples: hair cuts (which the stylist has never hurt him), trimming his nails, taking care of scratches or even brushing his hair. He whines and then clamps his mouth shut, squealing and says we will hurt him. I dont know where he gets this because we both make sure we are gentle with him.
My biggest concern is if he takes the food in his room (1) it might attract bugs/animals (we live in a rural area) and (2) he could choke and I might not hear him if I'm asleep.
Yes, the bug thing concerned me too. But I have to admit, I gave up on the food. I figured it was just another nutty kid thing (mysterious, amusing and annoying), As it turned out that's all it was.
Is it possible that your son's food habits are only a weird kid thing (as it was with my daughter) and that it has nothing to do with ADHD? If so, that would suggest a different approach to the situation. (Unless, like me, you give up on it.)
I'm not sure if it's just a kid thing or if it's due to ADHD. I notice his desire for food picks up around time for bed so it could be a stall tactic. However, our family doctor did tell us that if he is coming off the meds, he would be more hungry still the stimulate is wearing off.
Mind you, my husband told him as punishment, no snacks for a couple days and he put up all the snacky foods. Our son hasn't said one thing about being hungry or no whining about food....
I did also pick up that book ADD/ADHD Answer book and it's a good read and I'm hoping that it will give us some tips and answers (haha). From what I have read, I'm like "OMG, that is a questions I have wondered about!" So hopefully :)
I don't think so because he will eat all his dinner too and alot of it. If he is done, he sometimes will ask us for more, which is totally fine.
My aunt was thinking maybe the bedtime snacks are a stall tactic for bed.
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