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8 year old son is so hyper
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8 year old son is so hyper

My 8 almost 9 yr old is always hyper. He seems like he can never sit still. If he's sitting still he's making wierd noises from his mouth. He see's a therapist 1-2 times monthly and we think thats he's ADHD. This scares me because i have seen so many kids that are ADHD that are so overly medicated. I like that my sons active but the hyperness can sometimes take over. From 1 second to the next he sometimes doesnt know what he's doing because he's in such a hurry. And in school is worse. He gets into trouble all the time for disrupting,not listening etc... Other than that he actually is REALLY smart. I dont know if theres options out there to try and calm him. relax him. Without meds. Other issues we have with him is that he lies. All the time. And we catch him alot of the time and he bursts out crying saying we dont trust him and that he's telling the truth. Which makes us really upset. He has also had problems with stealing and he gets in fights alot. He pretty much does what he wants. And ALWAYS has to have the attention on himself. I am getting to the point of not knowing how to deal with this anymore. I am at my wits end because it always seems as if him and I are argueing about aomething or another. can anyone shed some light on some much needed help.

Clueless
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Avatar_m_tn
   I need more time to answer some of your questions, and will get back to you.  But I was curious what the "overly medicated" kids were doing to make you think they were over medicated.  Thanks
  By the way, the lying, getting into fights, stealing are  typical for ADHD.  Until I get the time you might go back through some of the earlier posts on this forum and read them.
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Your child appears to exhibit behavioral symptoms of ADHD, combined type (which means he is hyperactive, impulsive and inattentive).  He also has behavioral symptoms that identify with Conduct Disorder.  It is good that he is seeing a therapist who will be able to teach him appropriate comspensation skills, as well as give you parenting techniques that work well with ADHD children.  I personally to not advocate for medication, especially, for young children.  Medication can be a scary thing to consider, but there are some children who are so out of control that a very low dose would be a benefit to them.  Therapy and school will be ineffective if your child cannot focus long enough to learn appropriate educational and social skills.
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Avatar_f_tn
Overly medicated meaning they are very spacy. Have trouble focusing (which granted he already has trouble with), lazy and just not the child you once knew. I have a couple friends with ADD/ADHD children and I have heard what seems to be bad story after bad story of children that Completely change after medication. Not always for the good. Now Im not saying that this would happen to my son if I decided to medicate him. It just makes the thought process a bit more difficult. We have had him in therapy for about a yr and a half. He has always had problems and I always blamed them on certain past situations that have happened in our lives. Until before therapy he got so much worse. and We figured that was because I was expecting another baby. He had the attention on him for 8 years. How was he going to share it! It turned out that might have been part of the problem back than. But there are still so many things he still does. The ones I posted before along with, name calling,telling me he wants me dead, he's going to kill me,is going to kill himself,tries to run away,has hit me a few times,kicked me in the stomach when i was 8 monthes pregnant,hits other kids,is a bully at school,has fowl language at school (not home),pees pants a few times a day (not at night),takes off without me knowing,gets kicked off the bus,comes home hours late,absolutely does not listen to my fiance' etc.. The reason for 1 1/2yrs of therapy and no medication is because i was highly against medicating him. But in 1 1/2 yrs there really has been no change with him. I have read some of the other posts and will read more. Im just asking for help where ever I can get it now a days because I dont know how to handle an ADD/ADHD child. I need to figure out if I am doing anything that could help. And am trying to learn to handle this.
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Avatar_m_tn
   Its one of the things about meds that has always amazed me.  You give a normal child a stimulant medicine and they start bouncing off the ceiling.  You increase the dose and they go nuts.  An ADHD child will slow down on the same med.  And if the med is too much, they will zone out.  Really kind of proves that they do have a medical condition and its just not bad parenting, etc.  The sad thing is that the over medicating should not be happening.  Either the Dr and parents are not communicating, or the Dr or the parent have just given up and taken the easy way out.  It should not be happening.  And it is correctable, but it does take some time and trial and error.  All kids are different, and react differently.
  You have got several things going on here.  One, - he is a smart child who has learned how to manipulate (probably to protect himself).  Two, he is highly frustrated.  I have seen this happen a lot around 4th grade.  The frustrations just build, and build and build.  Until, he can learn how to deal with the frustrations (or they can be changed) - it will get worse.  Three - he has a good case of ADHD.  No filters, lack of concentration, etc.
  I think that if you really understand what ADHD is and how it affects kids, you will have a better chance of helping him and feeling better about the whole situation.
  A book I recommend a lot because it really answers a lot of your statements and questions is  "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.
  I think you will find my answer to this post helpful (and the post will ring a few bells).  Checkout - http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/When-All-The-Typical-Rules-Dont-Work/show/1412667#post_6441834
  At the bottom of my post I mention the site - http://www.healing-arts.org/children/ADHD/index.htm    
   Its worth checking out.  It has a ton of information.  So take your time.  I kind of like the book a bit better because its easier to digest and its always handy.
    Some other thoughts is that experts say it takes at least 3 weeks of consistent, immediate consequences (timeouts) for a behavioral change to take effect.  It can take even longer with an adhd kid because they don't think  before they act.  However, as they get older (and 9 is about that point), they do start getting more control.  The thing to keep in mind is that ADHD kids (when they are younger) really don't have very good filters.  Hence they do things impulsively.  It really doesn't take them very long (if they are intelligent) to figure out, that they are always getting blamed (probably correctly) by everyone and out of sheer survival instincts they lie.  It happens all the time.  Its not because of what you have done.  Its because of what they have been experiencing for most of their life. Also sometimes, they do things so quickly (no filters) that they aren't really aware they even did it.   So don't feel bad about his lies! Ignore it.  
   Finally, if you do decide to go the medicine route - do learn by your experiences with other kids.  Pediatricians are kind of notorious for quickly medicating and not properly following up.  If you do go that route, be very verbal about his meds and changes he is having.  Don't be surprised to be getting the med changed every week or so until he hits the right dose.  If you can - I would seek out a pediatric psychiatrist.  You will have a much better chance of good communication.
  Hope some of this helps.  If  you have any specific questions please post.  I am sorry I took so long to get back to you.  
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Avatar_m_tn
  There is one other link which I think you will find helpful.  Do check this one out -   Make sure you scroll all the way down past the other links to read the material.
       http://www.ncpamd.com/adhd.htm#Attention%20Deficit%20Disorder%20in%20Children%20and%20Adolescents
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