9yr old girl with suspected ADD

I suspect my 9yr old daughter has ADD, she can be aggressive, always interrupting conversations, bedwetting, cant keep still, very loud and argumentative and quite rude. She only sleeps for a few hours at night going to bed about 11 and waking up at 6.30am. Always on the go, finds it hard to maintain friendships as she is quite bossy.
Ive spoken to the School Nurse and i keep being told this is normal behaviour for a child her age! I dont feel it is, and she has changed over the last 18mths to 2years. she is so upset with herself that she says she wants to kill herself!! that is not normal for a 9yr old is it?
She gets into constant arguements with her siblings which then lead on to physical fights and more distress for the whole family.
Please can u give me some ideas on how to deal with this as im at the end of my tether.
Thanks

[jade_21]

To me the issue sounds more emotional than ADD.  Did something in her life change two years ago that could cause her to act out?  To me it sounds like she is acting out, because she is trying to get attention, because something is bothering her and she doesn't know how to tell anyone.  But that's just my take from your short post : )

[specialmom]

I think if the school personel is telling you that she does not appear to have symptoms of add/adhd, then she does not.  Be glad of this.  She functions well in school, so add/adhd is highly unlikely.  (when I say she functions well in school, I mean that the school does not identify her as a child that needs evaluation . . .).  Add/adhd is not selective in where it happens usually.  I think I would be calmly firm with her.  Talk about her stop button.  We all have two buttons, go and stop.  The go is always on for her.  She needs to work on pushing her stop button.  Kids kind of get that language.  I'd talk to her about her brain/body as an engine.  When she is all keyed up and overly excited, her engine is too high.  She needs to do something to slow it down.  Physical activity is the best for this.  "heavy work" is using the  muscles in a way to send calming signals to the brain.  Carry some heavy books in a bag across the room.  Push a laundry basket that is filled across the floor.  Do wall push ups, etc.  Some kids also really respond to deep pressure.  Have her lay on the ground face down and push pillows on top of her gently.  She'll love or hate it, but I'm guessing she'll love it.  It is very soothing.  Try that before bed.  Her physical activity should be high after school.  Get her out running, jumping, doing swim lessons, doing animal walks like crab and bear, etc.  All of those things are quieting to the nervous system.  But I'm guessing your daughter does NOT have add/adhd and that is a GOOD thing!