ADHD and ODD

[krichar]

So here is my question to all out there...How do I get through this??? I have a 9 year old son who has been diagnosed with severe ADHD and ODD. We have had 9 years of chaos, 3.5 years from the age of 3-6.5 with the "best" child psychologist in our area at a wonderful $150.00/hr, 3 years of meds first being aderall which caused unbearable ticks, now 45mg concertta and 35mg strattara which still causes ticks but not that bad. He is alright when the meds are working but first thing in the morning and after 5 when they stop working all hell breaks loose. I am surprised that the police haven't shown up with the tantrums he throws. Screaming, swearing, throwing things, going out side and trying to braek the windows on the house, it is unbearable!!! So any stratagies out there to cope? Relieve some of the stress i deal with on a daily basis. I am tired of starting and ending everyday in tears?

[Sandman2]

   I agree completely with the above posts.  I also wonder whether you have communicated to your doctor what your child is doing now.  I have certainly seen posts of kids on different meds that lasted a bit longer, and then something else to help them calm down and sleep at night.   It really is a bit extreme behavior for most of the ADHD posts I have seen on the forum during the last 3 years.  You might want to see if there is a pediatric psychiatrist in your area and get a second opinion about what is going on.
   I saw this post a while back, these books might be worth checking out.  I haven't read them yet, but I am certainly going to look into them.

Dulcet1pms, Oct 07, 2009 03:33AM
Hi- I also have a son with ADhD and is Bi-polar as well.  THe one best thing I did for him was buy, read and implement the techniques in 2 books.  The first was, "How to reach and teach ADD ADhD kids."  The second was, "The ADD/ ADhD Answer book."  Both of those books are filled with things that help our kind of children.

  It possible that some of these techniques will work on your son and make all of your lives a bit better.  Good luck

[specialmom]

This is just a question----  have you ever had your son tested for sensory integratrion disorder by an occupational therapist?  I only ask because this can look so much like ADD and is also a nervous system delay.  It's treated differently and meds don't help.  Many kids with ADD also have sensory with it also.  My son  has sensory and we do occupational therapy once a week but most of the work comes from home and what we do there.  Exactly what you mention is what we do.  He does rough and tumble play, sports, running, rolling, climbing, etc.  It has a direct effect on his behavior and is what is occupational therapy is all about.  OT also works on skills that he needs to cope better.  How to get over being angry quicker, how to spot a meltdown coming himself and what he can do to stop it, etc.  I only write this to you because we have had tremendous success with this.  He is almost 6 and has done a complete turn around.  Perhaps adding more of what you are speaking of would help him.  If you want any ideas that we do in ot that you could do at home, let me know!  Take care and best of luck to you.

[Lilak2002]

My son had ADHD, ODD and a mixed receptive speech delay.  He was diagnosed when he was 3 almost 4 years old.  He is 6 now.  The meds that my son is on is Dextormine.  It is suppose to have the same effects that you described but none ever developed.  A side from that.  I just recently deployed and my son had taken to throwing tantrums when he is upset and throwing things.  My suggestion is to find an actively such as sports anything that makes him really active and let him at it to get all that energy out.  I myself was thinking about getting a punching bag that he can use instead of tearing up his room he can hit the bag as long as he wants and just let it all out.  I don’t know if it will help you but it’s worth a try.

[specialmom]

I am sorry it is so hard.  It really can feel very lonely to parent a child with these issues.  I wonder if there is a support group or anything that you can get involved with as this may first of all, give you some people going through the same thing to talk to and who will empathize with you and second, may be a place to bounce some strategies around for dealing with these things.  I would check a local children's hospital as they often have all sorts of groups, check with the school counselor, see if there is an online community in your area that you could post the question to as to find something local.  

I'm not answering the question as to how to help your son as I don't think that is your question.  But how to help you deal with it all.  Have you considered any counseling for yourself?  I know you got burned by an expensive psychologist for your son so this may not seem appealing.  But it can be  helpful.  Watch yourself for signs of depression and make sure to get help for that.  Being depressed would only make the situation that much more unbearable.  I hope that your marriage is strong.  A child in need can take its toll on a relationship.  Making some time during the day just for you is important.  Talk to a trusted friend about this too.  

I read a book that had a lasting affect on me.  It talked about what it was like for a child to feel like your son does.  It feels terrible to say the least.  It also talked about how the world looks at them.  It is painful.  A kid with struggles gets less love from the world than other kids.  So we as parents are often their main opportunity to get love.  I'm not saying this to put more responsibility/pressure on you than  you already have but just to say that what you are doing in parenting this child is an important job.  It is VERY hard work and you do much more than the average parent.  I know that somday your child will be able to thank you for the love and care you give him.  I wish you all the best.