Adderall and Marijuana Abuse

Though maintaining well above average grades, before my senior year of high school I was prescribed a daily dose of Adderall (adderrall) Extended Release (XR) and Adderall (adderrall) Instant Release (IR).  From an early age I was identified as gifted, but I sought the prescription because concentration was getting in the way of performance as classes became more involved and I felt as though I suffered certain social problems associated with ADHD.

I got into the habit of taking the extended release every school day and most days that I did not have school.  I have been taking the instant release infrequently, but still have the prescription.  For the first two years, aside from mild side effects (difficulty falling asleep, excessive sweating, bowel problems), I enjoyed very positive results.  My grades improved to straight As, social troubles remained, but overall I was in a very good place.  I was recruited to play a sport at a highly rated university where I am currently enrolled and play on the varsity team.

I have since my teens been a casual smoker of marijuana, but I started abusing the drug last year.  Since January 1st of last year there have only been a handful of days I have not gotten high.  

For the past two months I have been waking up (usually around 6:30 AM), eating breakfast, drinking coffee (a lot), and taking Adderall (adderrall) XR every morning.  After breakfast I binge on studying and typically finish my day around 7:00 PM, after I work out (sometimes taking Adderall (adderrall) IR in the evening).  Afterward I come home and relax by getting high.

This past month I have become very concerned about my mental health.  I have felt severe depression, have reoccurring suicidal thoughts (never anything serious, but enough to mention), suffered bouts of insomnia, have persistent incoherent one-sided dialogue in my head when I try to sleep, and have withdrawn from any social life that I had.  I noticed I have developed a slight stutter when I begin to talk.  I feel like my life is a movie that I am watching and feel detached from any emotion whatsoever.  Over the past two weeks I have seen a bizarre looking man three times, and have questioned whether or not he is a hallucination.  I guess he has to be real, but I mention it to show how unsure of my mental state I am.  I plan on stopping the drug use (Adderall (adderrall) and marijuana) as soon as my work load lightens up.

What I think is producing these effects are the highs and lows I experience in a given day.  I am either hyper-active on amphetamines or completely relaxed on marijuana.  I know that marijuana, adderall (adderrall) and caffeine can have effects on the same neurotransmitters so I think my problems stem from the high volatility of chemical balances in my brain.

As I type this, I realize how completely insane I sound and how sincerely scared I am.  I would really appreciate hearing from other users of Adderall (adderrall) and marijuana to hear if anyone has suffered similar side effects.  I would also really appreciate a serious tone to the nature of comments.  I cannot stress enough how serious this post is meant to be.  The only reason I have not contacted my doctor is for fear he will tell my already over-stressed parents who worry too much about me.

[Sandman2]

   Ya, I'm not a user of either one.  But I have been on this forum for 4 or so years answering  questions.   I can certainly understand your concern.  The first thought is that you should check out -  http://jeffsaddmind.com/for-first-time-visitors  .  its an adult AD/HD site that doesn't pull any punches and has a lot of good resources.  If nothing else its worth reading so that you realize that there are other people with the same or worse problems then yours.
   Second thought is that I played sports while in college - when the season was over, my grades declined, always.  The season provided a focus.  Kind of curious if your problems have gotten more severe with the season ending.  If so, thats a start in figuring out how to handle at least part of this problem.
   I think that you realize that the mj is not a good way to go.  I completely understand the need to come down.  I would start by eliminating the night dose of adderall (adderrall) (unless you have a test coming up).  Try and find other ways to relax.  Music? maybe avoid extreme video games?  I find 5 or 6 mile runs very relaxing - maybe when the weather gets better you can work up to that.  (read the book - born to run, by Christopher McDougall for inspiration and a great running style.)
    The other thing that does bother me - being very honest here - is that you say, " I am either hyper-active on amphetamines or..."   From what I have seen here on this forum, very few people with ADHD describe themselves as being hyperactive.  Actually the reverse tends to happen.  They slow down and can concentrate.  Stimulants and do wonders for studying.  Heck, they were handed out like candy to B-52 pilots to help them concentrate on there long flights. they also do wonders for one during a football game. However, if for some reason, you don't have ADHD and got falsely diagnosed - the stimulants are very habit forming.  Something to think about.
    It is not unusual for ADHD people to self medicate, and marijuana does seem to be one of the drugs of choice.  But usually, not always, they are people who were not diagnosed, not on meds, and needed some way to slow down.
   So, I agree - you do have a problem - and I think that is serious enough to get help.  I also don't think that you would not have posted here if it was not serious to you.  My recommendation (besides the other ones) is to see your doctor.  You are over 18.  He cannot release any or give any information to your parents.  You also might want to checkout what your University has to offer.  If you are at a big (maybe even a small one) school, there is a good chance that the doctor will have had experience with what you are going through.  And once again, they cannot let your parents know what you are doing.
   Man, I hope some of this helps. I hope I didn't give you too much to think about.   Please post if you have any more questions.  I have a ton of online resources and books that I can recommend.   If nothing else - shoot me a message and let me know how it is going.  Best wishes.

[thedude4]

Really appreciate your comments.  I read them the next day after I posted my story, but I forgot to respond.  When I referred to being hyperactive on adderall (adderrall), I was referring to the fact that I am really hard at work when taking the drug, not that I am actually hyperactive.  I have found help and I have stopped taking adderall (adderrall) in the evening.  I think it really comes down to the fact that I must kick my marijuana habits and I have taken steps to do so.  Once I am smoking less regularly I will take steps to slowly get off the adderall (adderrall) completely.

[Sandman2]

     I think thats a good choice.   A number of the adult posters seem to have been able to switch to an as needed basis for adderall (adderrall).  Going to the short acting when needed.  Best wishes!