Child behavior

My son is 11yrs old and has ADHD but I believe is more then ADHD.  Its also his behavior at home.  He doesn't want to do homework and is lazy to write anything on paper.  Has a difficult understanding when he reads.  He gets really upset when he cannot get anything done he answers back with disrespect and screams. Tells me to be quite. I have rules in the house but is not working.  How can I discipline my child?.  .  

[specialmom]

There are some really excellent books on add/adhd for parents that Sandman 2 recommends.  I think you would find them very helpful.  Scroll down through the posts and you should see them or I will send him a note to leave them here for you.  

[Sandman2]

   Actually, it really is ADHD and what you are describing are exactly the symptoms someone with ADHD would have.  The fact that you are unaware of this means that your doctor (or someone) has not done a very good job at communicating with you.  This is very sad because a child with ADHD really needs a whole different discipline schedule than a regular child.  They also need a lot more help in school - hopefully he is getting that.
  So since someone has not done a very good job of educating you as to what ADHD is, it is extremely important that you do it yourself - both for you and your son.
  The easiest and most direct book to get a ton of info out of is,  "The ADD/ ADhD Answer book." , by Susan Ashley.  This book will give you not only ways to discipline your child, but more importantly ways to help him in school and life.   I would also recommend that you read through this link on this forum for some fast information.  http://www.medhelp.org/medical-information/show/2157/Attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-ADHD
  Feel free to post back if you have any other questions.

[dollyn]

If you don't think it is ADD or ADHD. follow your heart .

you have to fight for your child know one else will,so you need to push for test to be done on your son. Make them do blood work and check his brain ,by doing a MRI and a EEG. And any other test you want done that looks like ADD and ADHD.

What ever you do don't put on drugs they have very bad side effects that can lead to death.

[benjimom]

Is the work hard for him, somtimes that can cause kids to get really frustrated and lash out.  Some kids have low frustration thresholds.  It doesn't take much.

[Fairy_Mom]

My 6 year old daughter sounds so much like her son. The teacher keeps telling me that her behavior and her school work is not consistent. My daughter also doesn't take well to telling her "no". She is not mean or violent but has a lot of behavior problems. She does not want to play at recess with anyone. She wants to be with the teacher. Her teacher tells me that she can do the work but only with assistance. She is not very mature for her age. The teacher said she acts like a baby alot. She is a very whinny child. She is on medication for ADHD. The doctor tells me that she is not in high school so it  doesn't matter. But I don't want her to fall behind. Can you help me?  

[Sandman2]

What grade is your daughter in and what month is her birthday?
   Your doctors response seems a bit out of touch to me.  His he just a general MD?  
I mean it really does matter what is going on now.  By the time a child gets to high school they can be so far behind that they will never catch up.  I have no clue where he is coming from.
    Essentially, you really need to get more information about ADHD.  There is a lot that you can do for your daughter at home and the teachers can do at school.  Does the teacher know that she has been diagnosed with ADHD?  There should be a request for special ed assessment.  You won't get it, but you will get a 504 which will help your daughter a lot.  If this doesn't make a lot of sense to you run out and get the book,  "The ADD/ ADhD Answer book." , by Susan Ashley.  Amazon carries it.  It not only explains what I have just said, but gives you a lot of ways to help her at home and at school.
  If you have anymore questions please start a separate post , I almost missed your question to me.  I would hate to miss any more.

[DownMom]

My 11 year old son just told me to shut the **** up a;nd that he hates me. He tried to break the computer and kick me in the face.  I pushed him down. I feel like there's no excuse for abuse, his or mine, but I just get so angry at his behavior. He took a vacation from his adhd meds this summer and I want to scream it's so frustrating. He wants to run away or get a new mother.  I want to run away too.  Are there any books that tell about THIS? I know about adhd but obviously I don't know how to deal with my son.

[tschock]

I feel for you. He really needs to get back on those meds.
Did the doctor take him off or did your son just refuse to take them?

[Sandman2]

      Must be the season for this.  Check what I just posted in response to  http://www.medhelp.org/posts/ADD---ADHD/My-9yr-old-son-has-recently-started-to-show-a-horrible-personality/show/1577360      and that's a 9year old.
      First, take a deep breath and remember that when he is not on meds, he will do things "without filters."  Things quickly and without thinking.  One would hope that afterwards or a day or two afterward, he would apologize.  In,  "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley she says (p 11), that "boys either are in denial or use an inflated sense of self to protect themselves against  the depression that would surface if they were to acknowledge their deficits."   Both of these attributes would cause frustration for both of you.  On page 132 and 133, Ashley writes about avoiding power strugggggles and certain behaviors to ignore.  Then she goes into effective punishments.   Its a book probably worth getting (Amazon carries it and its fairly cheap).
     The other reason for the book (besides good info on working with schools and homework)  is probably both of you need to understand a bit more about ADHD and its consequences.  If he goes off his meds, he needs to understand how that will change the way he deals with the world and try to compensate - the same goes for you.   If you are interested in online sites I can recommend several such as - http://www.ncpamd.com/adhd.htm#Attention%20Deficit%20Disorder%20in%20Children%20and%20Adolescents
   Hope this helps.  Please post if you need more info.

[Ankelmacrilzacsmom]

My son has Asperger's.  He was diagnosed with that at the age of 4.  The doctor said he could be diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, ODD, and anxiety disorder but basically all of it combined put him in the autism spectrum.  I would have never imagined it with my son because he is extremely friendly.   Problem is, he doesn't understand boundaries in social situations...loud intonation, etc.  He is also very hyper, impulsive and has big problems with organization.  I don't know that it's true with every child, but I would see what other behaviors you notice in your child.  Are they exhibiting other behaviors that could place them under a different diagnosis?  Just my opinion :)