Daytime wetting

my boyfriends 9 yr old son has aspergers, adhd, odd & gad he is having issues with daytime wetting.  Says he doesn't feel it and once he wets his pants will sit in it without saying anything. Wets his pants at least once a week. His father grounds him from video game for a day for doing it is that the right way to handle it.  His father is going to see about putting him on meds for bladder control.  Have tried pullups also but then he won't bother to go at all and gets nasty rash cause he sits in soaking wet pull up or wet underwear.  Any suggestions both of us are at whits end about this.

[Sally44]

It may well be a sensory problem.  Alot of adults on the spectrum say that they have problems registering internal sensations such as feeling thirsty/hungry/full/needing the loo etc.  These systems are all tied in with sensory processing and communication between the senses.  Also when they have their attention or focus on something they tend to become unaware of their environment/people surrounding them/internal sensations.  This is a kind of inability to multi-task from a sensory point of view.
I presume you have tried constant reminders ie. tell him to go to the toilet at hourly intervals.  I also presume that you've cut out any foods/liquids that could be irritating the bladder.
One therapy that has clinical evidence of causing improvements in all aspects of functioning ie. speech, learning, social internation, sensory disorders are the Listening Therapies.  The Occupational Therapist who works with my son has recently been trained in a system called Listening With the Whole Body.  So, if a UK NHS employee is using this system then it think there must be something in it.  Maybe you could look into that.  All it involves is for the child to listen to differentiated music for a couple of sessions each day for a number of weeks.  They can do other things whilst listening - but not watch TV or go on the computer.