HELP

[mrswatson1967]

could anyone tell me who to contact regarding an 11 year old relative (female) with severe behaviour problems. social services involved, mental health involved, no one seems to have an answer and we need to find some one who will listen before this childs life is seriously affected or before she ends up dead. she is putting herself and her family at risk. she has now developed an "eating disorder", has anger issues, parents have both had behavioiur problems as children and so have extended family members.,there are 2 siblings aged 3 and 5 and soon another will be born. the mother needs HELP. please can someone advise. thank you.

[margypops]

Please give further details regarding the childs behavior and what relation you are to her,there could be issues here that are family related in order to best help you give us incidents of what you mean and an idea of her life.,school etc

[mrswatson1967]

the child is my brothers daughter. she lives with her mother, stepfather and their 2 children. they are due another boy in 4 weeks time. she smokes, swears, hangs out of the window chatting to neighbours at all hrs i the morning.she is overweight, gets very angry, says she hates her siblings, talks to and treats the dog disgusting,says she hates her mum and stepdad. does not do anything she is told. does not understand the meaning of dress code for her age for example thinks that it is ok to go out in the street wearing a mini skirt that just covers her pants. she will not do anything she is told. she is a a school where children go that do not conform to everday school and their rules. her mother treats her so well and the child never goes without anything. she has disgusting eating manners and slops her food. shes like shes on speed and cant stop and shes on the go all the time. i feel that she needs medication or else she will burn out or harm herself or some one else. let me know if you need more.
regards

[margypops]

You still dont say how old she is,If she is doing the things you say this is a Parent /child interaction problem and she is having no bounderies set, if you go into the street wearing in appropiate clothes it is because your Parents allow you to, same goes for smoking ,eating ,speaking badly or other behaviors, she does not need Medication she just needs direction and Bounderies from her Mom and Dad.It is possible she feels left out as there are other Family members who possibly get more attention, and Negative attention for bad Behavior is better in her eyes than no attention.This child whatever her age ,could do with some positive attention, some Games and Sports and Out side activities, and some one to one care from her Parents.

[mrswatson1967]

re ur comments and note to me on sept 10th.
i dont mean to be disrespectful, but its always easy to blame the parents and most people who havent had these problems in their lives usually do. could you tell me what you know about the subject and what experience you have. also have you had a child of your own with these behaviours.
regards

[Strype]

First step:
I'd suggest boot camp. And I'm serious. Before you can even think "disorder" you need to get this child under control. Sounds like she's controlling her parents and not the other way around.

Second:
I have a friend who's sister ended up the same way. Great family, and great people. Anyway she ended up living out of a car, doing unspeakible things for drugs, having 2 children she dropped off at mom and dad's and abandoned. They tried everything. They spanked and diciplined their children when they were young, but this girl was unstoppable.

After the grandparents of the babies got involved with child custody services, they sent the female to be evaluated. Turns out she is seriously bipolar. She is now on medication, living with her babies under her parent's watchful eye and she is court ordered to see a councilor very often.

[margypops]

2 children in my Family misdiagnosed withADH D a few years ago ,had major reactions to the  drugs, are drug free now and doing better,they were amphetamine-containing drugs Adderall (adderrall) and Ritalin, I recomended the Mothe,my daughter to go the Natural Way but she wanted to do what her Doctor prescribed  and had major problems of hostility and nightmares and anger to deal with., almost caused her Family to break up as it was worse than the original problems,I was very much involved through it all I hope that answers your question regarding my knowledge , if you are so certain it isnt anything to do with Parent /child interaction,and you consider that any parent allowing a child of 11year old to hang out of windows in the middle of the night and smoke should not be blamed.....What is there to say ,I guess it is Good Luck