How can we stop the cycle of our sons stalling for consecquences

[Natrulie]

Lately our son pushes a situation to its limits. For instance we tell him go take a shower. He gets distracted and forgets we remind him repeatedly we direct him but at some point it turns into a battle for him. At some point he decides that he is going to fight us and is not going to do the task. We clearly explain that he either do as we ask or he will face a consequence. He immediately gets upset and says I will I will, we say go do "the task" and you will not face a consequence. Do not do the task and you will face the consequence. We ask him to repeat back what he needs to do, then set a timer and if it is not done or he is not in the process of doing the task then he will have the consequence. We always follow through with the consequence. Are we doing something wrong? Is this normal behavior for an ADHD child? Is there any way to break this cycle? It just breaks our heart to watch him do this to himself we don't understand why he doesn't just do the task. Thank you.

[Natrulie]

Thank you. It's good to know that what we are experiencing is in the "normal range" it makes it easier to deal with.

[Sandman2]

  Your sons age probably has a lot to do with his actions.  As an ex-elementary school principal I can tell you that I thought first grade teachers deserved a special place in heaven because they had to deal with 6 year old boys every day.  Frankly, the kids seemed kind of crazy - and then one or two years later - a whole different child.
  So I think part of this is definitely maturation.  I also think that he is getting better because of your consistency.  If you were not as consistent, he would be learning that his behavior works for him.  It just doesn't happen overnight.
  Do remember, that once his medication has worn off, so has his filters so you need to change discipline styles at that point.  
  Do keep in touch with his school.  While your discipline is consistent, theirs can be extremely consistent and has the added factor of peer approval.  Kind of gives you a ground floor feeling for what may be possible.
  I think the distraction is one of the key issues.  Try to eliminate things like that at (say) shower time and it will be easier on all of you.  You are doing a good job.  Keep it up!

[Natrulie]

Our son is 7 years old from "how to discipline adhd aggression". Not sure if the school is seeing the some thing. The aggression is gone that has changed. He does it when the medication should be working and when it is wearing off. What concerns us is that once he starts it seems hard for him to turn it around. Although it has gotten better at turning it around. Much better.

[Sandman2]

It sounds like you are consistently following through which is very important.  But part of how it all works depends on the maturation of the child.  How old is your son?  Does he do this all the time - or only when he is off medication- or is he on medication?  Does his school report the same problems.  Also, you said, "lately", has any thing changed in his life, his meds, his household - lately?