How do I calm my hyperactive 3 yr old?

My son is non-stop from the time he wakes up until he falls asleep.  He hits me and his grandparents as well as our cats.  He moves furniture and turns over large toys, desks, etc.  He gets mad when he doesn't get his way and throws whatever is in his hand.  He spins around and runs around and screams and throws toys and rough-houses non-stop.  He never sits still.  He is very sweet and loving and when he can tell we've had our fill of his behavior, he will hug us and smile sweetly.  Then, he goes back to being rambunctious.  He never wants to play alone outside-he wants me right beside him not just watching him.  He doesn't leave anything alone.  He is constantly moving things he isn't supposed to and will pour out drinks if they are left within his reach.  He throws his food when he's done even though he knows better.  He doesn't respond to punishment.  He will cry about being in time out but go right back to the rambunctious behavior once it is over.  I do not know how much longer I can deal with this level of hyperactivity.  I have help but he literally is so hard to handle it takes 3 adults to care for him.   His pediatrician said he would have to be 5 to be tested for ADHD, while he ran around her office moving chairs and hollering.  What can I do??

[wj74]

How is his eye contact? Just curious because my son has Asperger's and ADHD and was just like that as a toddler/preschooler. Aside from that, I would (and did) give him lots of things around the house he COULD do. I bought him a bouncy ball (the kind you sit on) and a trampoline, any kind of hands on activity he likes? Most kids have at least one activity that will hold their attention. For my son, it's legos. He will play with that for a long times and not bother anyone else. He also likes Moon Sand. You can squish it, pound it as much as you want and it vacuums up. :)

[specialmom]

Hi,  everyone comes here with there own story, right?  My son has sensory integration disorder and was an active 3 year old.  Maybe not to the extent as yours but close.  In the early years, things can look similar and when and if you diagnose (he may grow out of it,  you never know-----  and sensory is diagnosed by an occupational therapist) it is important to get the right diagnosis.  Sensory is not helped by medication but is helped dramatically by occupational therapy.  My son was diagnosed by an occupational therapist at 3 and 4 and diagnosed at 4.  He started ot and is doing really really well.  School and home life are going smoothly.  

Anyway, I like wj74's ideas (especially the mini indoor trampoline which my kid still bounces on daily).  You have a kid that is going to require more out of you.  At almost 6, I am still the mom at the playground that runs around and plays games with my son.  It gets him to do what he needs to do for his sensory needs and he has a ball when I do it.  You may end up being that mom too.  I also have a younger child----  we just make it our family game.  Things we do to help sensory as my son is a sensory seeker involve lots and lots of physical stuff.  Rolling, climbing, jumping, skipping and spinning.  Swinging is very calming to kids.  Swimming is awesome.  I would add to the list from wj74 that if you have any outside access----  blowing bubbles is soothing to the nervous system.  At 3, he may need a little help.  The blowing action is the important part but he will want to see the bubbles and may need a little help until he gets the hang of that.  Simple play dough is good too (and wj74 is a saint for the moonsand . . .  we have had super big messes with that . . . it is an outside thing now . . .) We hide things in beans and my kid has to find them.  If you  have some wooden train track (there are some inexpensive brands out there) and a couple of trains----  my son would build train track (kind of like legos) at 3 and would play with that for periods of time.  
I also would think about a mother's helper.  This was great for me . . . after school in our area, I would have a girl/boy of about 11 to 13 come over and pay them 2 to 3 dollars to run around with my son.  The older child enjoys it and has far more energy than I do and my kid loved it too.  And I loved the 1 to 2 hours of being able to moniter the situation and still get something done.  (with mother's helper, you don't leave).
Also, at 3 if you live in the states, your son can be evaluated for free for your public school system's early intervention preschool program.  If he qualifies, he would go to school for a couple of hours a day with eduational instructors and professionals that will try to help your child.

One last thing, before bed and when you want him to relax-----  try putting him on the floor and taking couch cushions and placing them over him and gently pushing.  It is very soothing.  We also got an old fashioned cobblestone toy (found on ebay) that has a little hammer and wooden nails.  My son can pound away on something that it didn't matter!  Good luck.  It is hard work but worth it in the end.

[wj74]

Yes, ditto the cushions. My son still at 10 gets a kick out of being wrapped like a burrito in a blanket or being squished under cushions.And the trains, he loved Thomas trains for years. :)

[Sandman2]

One other thought is if you can - get a second opinion from someone who specializes in kids with these kinds of problems.  Look for a pediatric psychiatrist.  This very well could be out of the range of your pediatrician's knowledge area.

[blondie2329]

i have a 3 year old same problem.i first was like did  write this?lol.i know what your going through and i know its stressful and rough.we have shifts we take with my son.we have to he is 2 much to deal with..one person cannot do it.he goes unil he just falls over.he does the exact same thing your son does.ive cried many day and nights begging for the sanity i felt i was losing dealing with his behaivor.he does the same things over and over.no matter the danger or the trouble it gets him in.he throws things esp when he gets mad .he loves pouring any kind of liquid out in the floor bed couch he doesnt care.he screams like a high pitch squeal alot anymore.we cannot stay n a store longer than 10 minutes or he has fits.we cannot go out to eat omg the scenes he can cause he will not sit still he has to run whole time he is up.we were told by family doctor to not give him red food color,caffeinne,chocolate,sugar of any kind.we one that helped only a little still out of control.also my son sleeps bout 4 to 6 hours a day and thats it.he takes no naps he wont.older he gets less sleep he sleeps.and he done that ever since he was a new born.we finally got the doctor to agree to let him see a specalist.she said she couldnt write the dx down on paper yet till he wa 6 but she knew he had adhd and very bad.she wouldnt give him any med due to his age and to have a intervention first with child phycoligist and special education pre school.she also thought he has autisim spectrum disorder.his speech is that of a 1 year olds he just babbles alot but not every word is like that.she couldnt say for sure until he has this intervention as she calls it.and in 9 months we go back afte she gets the reports from the pre school and speech therapist and his full child physicol test.she said he showedsighns of autism but somethings he done wasnt of a kid with autisim she wa very confused.so we have to do all this other stuff in steps to see.she did say he could take melintonin and that would make him sleep so far it has but it does nothing for his behavior during day.so we got a long road ahead of us and ill let ya know whatthey doand say about him maybe it can help with your son

[dream282008]

my daughter is 3 yrs old and is so wild and rambunctious andjust plain mean sometimes. I feel like I'm going crazy alot I dont know what to do or how to handle her. She does things to deliberately make me upset and is totally mean to her brother and I. When I get on to her if she doesnt like the punishment or I swat her bottom she hits me. She hits her brother and pushes him down. She rearranges the furniture and tries to tear up my sons chair that he got for x-mas. Sometimes I think its jealousy of her brother and I'm sure it is to a point but surely she cant be that jealous that she is acting out this way. Please help what do I do

[dobby1234]

hello.. i've read all the comments and everything and i was like him when i was younger and i still am. i've tried putting my self in a quite spot, it does work but only if you let out all your angry and everything. as i've leart from today my anger is so high at the moment i wanted to hit a girl who called me a w***e... and saying i can't keep my legs closed she's mad me that angry i walked out of my classroom as i'm only 17 years old i get angry over small things i've tried taking the ritaling tablets but they don't work...... so i stopped taking them.... i hoped i could stop all my angry and everything but i can't..... so i try going for long walks but i still find it hard.... so every month i go and talk to someone called sandra roberts she's a lovely lady and she goes out her way to try to help me....
i hope this might be able to help you