I feel for the child.
I have watched kids exactly like this go through the school system. Homework will get longer and longer till they give up. They will start failing classes and start hanging out with other failures. There is a good chance that they will start self-medicating. And it will get worse from there. What will make this even worse is that the Mother is going to blame the child the whole way! All her attempts to help will be for naught because she refuses to believe that he has ADHD and won't do those things that can help. And we are not just talking meds here. There is a lot that can be done without meds to preserve his sanity. I am guessing that either one or both of his parents have ADHD and because of their (probably bad) experience growing up with it, they maybe reacting the way they are. Just a guess, but I have seen it happen. There are also some whose religious beliefs won't allow them to deal with this kind of a situation. And I have worked with some parents from foreign countries (mainly oriental) who just don't believe in getting psychological help due to their cultural traits. None of these reasons excuse what is going to happen to the child and unfortunately, most of these are difficult to deal with.
Your IEP will not run out. The parent has probably pulled him out of the system - which is even more sad. Frankly, if this is true - and the parents aren't working with the school, the school will start giving up on the parents. In another year or so, I think you will start seeing the child get suspended from school. Especially, if he no longer has an IEP to protect him. Maybe that will finally wake the parents up.
I'm really not sure what you can do to help. There are good books out there, but I am not sure if any fit this situation. If you try to help too much, the parent will probably dump you. So be careful how you handle this. The school is really the one that will have to do it. Sooner or later, the teacher and the playground supervisors will give up, and the principal will get involved and that may help. It sounds like the teacher is really trying to help. She needs to get the principal and school psyc to all work together on this.
I think for now, your best help will be to be very comforting and understanding to the child. Really try and keep him up on his math (that's the one thing that will really come back to haunt him in upper grades). Keep your eye open for division, thats usually where things began to get tough. Do short drills on multiplication.
Its possible the mom might be open to trying some dietary changes for him. Check out this post -
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/ADD---ADHD/green-tea-for-adhd/show/349853?post_id=post_4974723
The LT03 sounds interesting. Unfortunately, people rarely post back to say if it works.
You can certainly start reading up on how to help ADHD kids. I saw this post a while back and haven't had time to check it out, but it sounds good. Of course the standard is "Driven to Distraction" by Hallowell.
"Dulcet1pms, Oct 07, 2009 03:33AM
Hi- I also have a son with ADhD and is Bi-polar as well. THe one best thing I did for him was buy, read and implement the techniques in 2 books. The first was, "How to reach and teach ADD ADhD kids." The second was, "The ADD/ ADhD Answer book." Both of those books are filled with things that help our kind of children"
Best of luck, I appreciate what you are trying to do. It must be terribly frustrating for you (well, for all involved). Hang in there.