I am add or adhd and need help getting the right medication

I am adhd and have previously been diagnosed by my patient assistant doctor, however she refuses to prescribe me anything but wellbutrin or stattera.  I have tried both and neither have worked.  The doctor refuses to prescribe me anything like adderall (adderrall) or ritalin or vivanyse the new one on the market because I had and have an addicton problem.  My main problem though and why I have continued to relapse off and on for 4 years on methanphetamine is because I have nothing else to make me focus concentrate calm down, except for when then I end up getting sick trying to self medicate my illness. I have also been diagnosed as bipolar, but those meds seem to do nothing for my concentration restlessness, mood ect.  I give up.  I need a doctor that will put me on what works for most people which is something like ritalin, concerta, adderall (adderrall), or your new one vyvanese.  I am more than willing to have these medicatons directly monitored so there is no potential for abuse, even if it means driving to the pharmacy every day to make sure I do not abuse them.  I have in the past used small quantities of meth in order to make me focus not for the getting high factor.  I actually can read and comprehend am less restless anxious, when I first use a small dose of meth, but I can not do this to myself anymore and would be at least given the opportunity to try this in order to save my life literally.  Can you offer some assistance?

[allmymarbles]

Is this the same doctor who diagnosed you as having ADHD? If he is wary of giving you the medications that are closest to speed, he must have a reason. By your own admission you have an addictive personality, so his attidude is reasonable. It also occurs to me that you may be in withdrawal. If that is the case, take it up with your doctor.