Is this depression?

My 11 y.o. son has been on Concerta for approx. 2 1/2 years for ADHD.  He began jr. high school 3 months ago.  He recently has started saying all his peers at school think he's weird or a nerd and don't like him.    When he approaches kids at lunch they either ignore him or say "who cares" to whatever he says.  One of his teachers singles him out because he is always, talking or fidgeting.  My son says he does talk alot in class, either to whoever he's sitting by or just to himself.  He says he knows this is weird and gets weird looks from the other students when he talks to himself.  He said there have been a few incidents in P.E. where 1 student purposely tripped him and another smeared a peanut butter sandwich in his locker.  He never asks friends to the house and does not get asked to other kids' houses.  He said he is a "waste of skin and air" and "belongs in heaven".  He told me typically he feels more angry and frustrated but also sometimes sad at his treatment from others.  

Could this possibly be a problem with his ADHD or Concerta or maybe a separate condition of depression.

[Rebecca Resnik, PsyD]

Hello,
   Your son's struggles are nothing to ignore, so I am so glad he has you as his ally. Children with ADHD are at higher risk for depression, and what you are describing does indeed sound like more than the typical pre-teen moodiness. First, I recommend you meet with his physician (whoever is managing his medication) to discuss these symptoms. It may be important to have a formal psychological evaluation done to assess his mood. As your son is expressing that it would be better if he was not alive, he should have a risk assessment as soon as possible from a qualified clinician (psychiatrist or psychologist). A risk assessment will consist of a structured interview with you and him to determine if he is at risk for self-harm.

   Children who are bullied tend to struggle with aggressive peers for years. Often the reason a child is targeted for abuse has to do with how he reacts. Those children who show strong reactions to bullies are the ones most likely to be targets (those children who cry, try to retaliate, become frustrated etc.). Recent research indicates that bullying can have long term negative mental health impact. This issue should be addressed at school. I would ask to meet with this teacher (who could be setting the tone by inadvertently sending messages to the other students that it is ok to pick on your son) and an administrator. Keep asking for meetings until you find someone who offers a plan for how to help your son.

The good news is that your son can learn ways to cope with bullies and make friends. I would ask your pediatrician or psychiatrist for a referral to a psychologist or therapist who can teach your son to be assertive as well as to ignore provocation.  You can also get some great ideas from the book Nobody Likes Me Everybody Hates Me: The Top 25 Friendship Problems and How to Solve Them by Michelle Borba.

Best Wishes
Rebecca Resnik