I was diagnosed as bipolar II in 2008 and had only just accepted a year or so ago. I have started to question it again after I was reading about someone who had add symptoms and thought it sounded exactly like me. If I could get some feedback into what it may mean, it would be greatly appreciated.
• Lack of concentration
• Zoning out (staring, not hearing anything)
• no self confidence/I feel like I've failed at everything
• get distracted easily
• hard time listening
• find simple things hard and ask repeatedly what it is I'm suppose to do
• cannot hold down a job (had 15+ in 10 years)
• make errors @ work due to not listening/going over what I've done
• Become absorbed in tv/book/whatever, that I cannot hear or see anything else around me
• procrastinate (especially with housework.. Partner constantly on my back!)
• anger, rage, irritable (having issues with this now)
• lack of 'caring' (what ppl think, if I hurt their feelings, what they have to say etc)
• no brain - mouth filter
• hyper sensitive- upset very easily
• no motivation
• stop listening to people midway through conversations, interrupt them and can be generally rude. This seems to be getting worse
• get bored so easily
• want some excitement in life, not sure what?
• impulsive (spending $, going places etc)
• racing thoughts
• crammed thoughts - like there are too many
• mood swings (daily, hourly)
• can be defensive when ppl criticise
• easily stressed
• strong urge to runaway when things are too stressful, have done previously (5 times this year).
• 'chaos' picture in my mind with loud noise
• figity; eg- feet constantly moving even when sitting or in bed
• can't sleep - too much to think about, mind overload, brain won't shut up
• just don't care about things/loved ones issues
• miss words or double them up (both writing and speaking)
• forgetting easy words (fork, shoe etc) and having to describe what I'm trying to say
• overwhelming guilt, fear - even though I'd done nothing wrong
• obsessive behaviour - touch wood, chips & sauce
• numbers & words mixed around
• can't remember doing things I know I've done (ie written posts on forum and have no recollection of writing the content; conversations or plans with people are an absolute mystery to me; when driving, I will have forgotten the actual drive.. is like I'm on auto-pilot) - extremely upsetting
• excessive guilt
• distracted thoughts (ie partner asked me how I handled Xmas night at his parents, it reminded me I ate quiche which I never do and said "oh I ate quiche!", he said again but how did I feel/handle it. I was still thinking about the food I ate then I said "egg is kind of meaty to me now, like a meat substitute". Partner: Yes but for the third time, how did you go being at my families tonight!!)
I know it's long, I apologise and greatly appreciate any and all feedback
I am an ADHD coach and SOME of what you describe sounds like classic ADD. Here's what those things would be:
-- disorganization, boredom (seeking excitement), being figity, zoning out/trouble focusing, being impulsive ("no mouth filter"), hyper sensive, lacking motivation, hyperfocusing (focusing on one thing and blocking out everything else), and memory issues.
You could have ADHD plus something else, or another diagnosis altogether. I recommend that you find an excellent psychologist with a background in ADHD, bi-polar, depression, and OCD, to do a very thorough neuro-psych evaluation.
Here's where what you describe is NOT classic ADHD:
-- Compulsions, severe mood swings that change even hourly.
Depression and anxiety often co-exist with ADHD (untreated ADHD can lead to both as life easily feels very overwhelming).
The following that you describe can be ADHD, but they can also be symptoms of other issues (depending upon severity): racing/crammed thoughts, mental chaos, being easily stressed.
The compulsive things you mentioned (touching wood, etc.) do not sound to me like ADHD, but more like OCD. Of course, only a comprehensive psychological exam would be able to tease these all out. Not caring about others' feelings, being numb, defensiveness, and having an urge to run away -- these are not classic ADHD symptoms and may be coming from something else.
I am suggesting that many of your symptoms very much sound like ADHD, and it sounds like you have other things going on as well. I highly recommend seeking out a reputable therapist who can do a comprehensive exam to tease out the various things going on.
I also recommend reading online anything you can find about ADHD, Bi-Polar II, OCD, and depression, and becoming familiar with those and see if there are any things that resonate for you. The OCD Foundation has a great website with a lot of information. Totallyadd.com/ is a good site on ADHD issues, and Ari Tuckman's podcasts (you can google them) are great. Best wishes!!!
I hope you went to a psychiatrist to be diagnosed. If not, then go for a second opinion. However, most bipolar patients are in denial about their condition. Just talk with your doctor and discuss your concerns. Also, bipolar disorder often has comorbid conditions, so you could have both.
Thank you both for your replies.
ADHDcoach, I'll definately check out that website and I appreciate your response. I have read up a bit on bp2 and while a lot of the symptoms relate to me, some don't. When I read about adult adhd, the majority of the symptoms relate to me (well it appears to anyway).
Coffees, yes I've been diagnosed 2 times by 2 different psychiatrists and it suggested by my gp. I have a psych appointment oh feb 1, I'm very much looking forward to it. If I haven't got it, I just would like my meds fixed. If i have then I would like to be on something that will make me feel better.
Thanks again guys
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