My 7 year old son cannot Focus

[resa_jb]

My son is 7 years old, he has problem focusing himself into doing things. In the school he cannot finish his work according to the teacher unless somebody else guided him. Same here in the house, when I asked him" did you finish your food?" when he started talking he forgets that he has still food on his plate, or he is easily distructed by our puppy if the puppy is around. He will be playing around with the puppy.Another thing in the morning he gets up, he already change with his uniform. I asked him if he is ready he said he is ready for school, but he did not bring down his school bag, school things that he needs when it's almost time to go, he remember he did not have his bag with him, his hat, etc...Another situation, we are doing his homework, he cannot finish it in a hour for example math. he cannot remember that this problem he already solve before sometimes he just stare at it.
We are observing he cannot remember, or cannot get the idea of how to solve it again, unless you will remind him or give him example. E.G. draw an array with 3 rows and 5 dots in each row. He will stare at the problem & will not solve because he cannot understand the problem. He is also very careless, he already got 3 times in a row accident with the same hand first was the pinky finger was broken, when he was unintentionally trying to go inside the bathroom while the older sister, yelling at him get out. the older sister slam the door, my son's tip of the right hand pinky finger was broken. this happened year 2005, that was the time we relocate to texas. next was,Apr of 2006,he was alone in our backyard doing mockey bar in our swing since he is not tall he could hang up there. the friends of my daugther came in, my daugther was there too. He was still doing the mockey bar, the friend of my daughter push a little bit of her butt she explained. my son fell down trying to probably protect himself but he did the wrong way...i did not saw how he fell but his right arm was dislocate, it was broken he was still 6 that time. my husband run right away to the hospital & do the surgery the following day because the arm was broken. This year dec of 2007, we are on the way to our vacation. me & my husband were unloading our luggages from the trolley/airport cart. my kids were playing with this empty trolley, my daughter said she spin the trolley while my son was there riding on it. When she spin it , it became unbalance & i did not saw how the trolley fell onto the right hand of my son. my daughter panic to pick it up not too late but still it's just seconds the other fingers were save but the right pinky finger , middle part was badly hurt,swollen & we thought it was fine. According to the airport medic it was fine. After the 3hours flight we went to the nearby hospital & found out that his right pinky finger was broken.
my question is: IS my son a accident prone child? How can I make him learn how to protect himself? how can i teach him to be more vigilant? Stay focus to one thing, finish one work at one time. How can i prevent him from getting into this kind of accident? he there a kind of disorder?
Why he cannot remember how to solve things he did already. is it normal to constantly remind them same thing, everyday, keep repeating to tell him, did you do your homework etc...? please advice me. Your reply is greatly appreciated. Thanks & keep in touch.

Janese

[Sandman2]

     I can and will give you some very good links on ways to work with him at home.  But, I am curious.  He has been in school long enough by now that the consistency there should be making a difference in how he is doing at school.  ADHD has to be present in two or more places.  It seems like your Pedi seems to think it is a home problem only?  Did she do questionnaires for his teachers?  Frankly, at this age, where immediate reinforcement is so important, what is done at home won't really carry over to school as much.  Thus, if his teachers are immediately dealing with his behavior and he has changed his behavior - then it could be a problem at home only.  However, if he is still having problems at school too - then that would indicate ADHD and what you do at home will not be helpful at school.  
     Thus, I would like to know how things are going at school.  Better, worse, the same, etc.   It could make a difference on what material I send your way.

[tricelulu]

I have a 6 year old son and he has a problem with focusing in school and at home he is very bright. He is very good in math, spelling and reading is ok but he's only in the 1st grade. He makes honor roll etc, but he doesn't focus well and is very chatty in class and can be noisy. I spoke with his pedi and she said she really doesn't want to entertain ADHD at this age and suggested I start some home rules and don't let up also try some focus exercises like cross word puzzles and quiet time at home memory games etc. and I have seem a change in him a bit. but the behavior is sporatic  and he just refuses sometimes to follow the rules. I tell him the same thing over and over is it just rebelliousness or does this sound like ADD or ADHD. please help sometimes I get so frustrated and want to give up. I've try everything he yells and screams and even throw thing around sometimes. Any Advice

[jheez386]

What you said put me in a whole different perspective. I always had the same feeling the other mothers have. My kid is 6 and doesn't have focus at all, sometimes i just cry it all out instead of getting mad at him. I guess a also am to be blamed for this, i failed to supervise his time on the tv or gadgets, his doctor said those could really affect a kid's behavior.
Now i would reaalllllly be patient. He is a good kid and has a passion for music.

Thank You

[hawagner]

Have any of you had you kids eyes checked?  I'm asking because my son has terrible vision. He has a *9 script in one eye and a *7 in the other.  And I have learned that really bad vision can present itself as add or ADHD. So just a thought, maybe u should get their eyes checked.  My son has a lot of trouble focusing but I blame a bulk of it on the fact that he is 7. And it is unrealistic to expect a 7 year old to focus like an adult. I have a cousin with ADHD and he had spells of rage and hitting when he was young. To me that us proof of a real problem. I'm not down grading the issues here but I honestly believe that most of them stem from just being kids!! Good luck and have their eyes checked. :) Remember to smile cause God loves you ;)

[Sandman2]

Hey Resa,
  One way to find out how "normal" your son is  - is to talk to his teacher. If she has been in the business for a while she has seen lots and lots of kids.  She can tell you what "normal" behavior is.  

[wayti2000]

Your son sounded just like my son.  It would take him sometimes an hour sitting and trying to finish his meal.  I have to always remind him to focus on his plate and eat his food... to keep chewing.  He easily gets distracted.  In school, the teacher would comment on how she has to keep reminding him to not talk to his neighbor/classmates and focus on his work.  Lately, I've been seeing that he hs unfinished class work.  I would ask him why did he not finish it and he would say no more time.  His good in math and spelling.  But when it comes to writing, the teacher would complain on how he doesn't support his sentences with a reason. Like, " I enjoyed my stay in Disneyland"  the teacher would ... what did you enjoy?

His not hyper and all that because he can sit and watch TV or play in the computer or clumsy and all that.  

Do you think my son has ADHD ???

[CRodriguez27]

Your son sounds like a normal 7 year old to me.  My daughter is 7, and has the same problems with math, reading, etc... They're lives have changed so much in the past 3 years, he's still adjusting.  He just went from never going to school, to pre-k and kindergarten (which are are, mostly play time) to structured learning.  Some kids have no problem with this adjustment, but thats just some.  MOST kids are spacey daydreamers in first and second grade.  I do NOT think your son has ADD.  However I'm not a doctor, so you'd have to consult with your doctor to be sure.  I personally think ADD is over diagnosed, and too many parents use it as an excuse to medicate their children to chill them out because they cannot handle the stress and responsibilities of parenting.  Parenting is not easy, and kids can't memorize everything they learn the second they learn it.  Just try your best to be patient with him.  I've learned that patience, and support go along way when it comes to focussing and learning in school and at home.  If he knows your getting stressed with him, he's going to get stressed, and thats all that will be on his mind and he will be unable to process the work.  

As for the accident prone thing, well, I can't help you there, I'm pretty clumsy myself.  Thats just something he'll probably learn with time.  He'll start to realize that carelessness leads to him getting hurt, which leads to pain and the inability to play... I think all kids are pretty clumsy.  

Good luck to you.  And like I said, consult with your doctor in regards to the ADD thing.  I really don't think that's the case though.

-Cara

[cbrown71]

I totally get you.My son is 7 and we just found out he has ADD.The accident thing really wasn't the problem but definitly the forgetting,easily distracted at the table,uninterested in eating,kinda like a waste of time for him.It would get frustrating when it came time for homework since he would get up and walk around,talk constantly about something entirily different then the work.After 2 years of trying to "work it out",I finally decided that professional help was needed,mind you the school really suggested it was a good idea since he just wasn't functionning.My son is now on Concerta and doing much better.We are still working on the best dosage,but it has helped.Perhaps you could see your pediatrician and mention your concerns.It can't hurt.Hope you and you son get the help you need soon.

Chantal

[msmuck]

  Hi, I know excactly what you are talking about.  My son is 11 and I always felt he had the worse case of ADHD a kid could have.  He has also had accidents with getting hurt.  It's like they are so wound up they're not even thinking abound things around them.  I always pray for God to help him to do better and to protect him.
  Also,  I go through the same thing with him forgeting everything.  You would think at 11 they would remember all their things for school and to brush their teeth.  I feel like he acts way younger than what he is sometimes and I get more stressed with him than my 3 yr old daughter or 7 month old son.  When we do homework he doesn't understand it and you have to struggle with it.  He always forgets his math even though we already showed him how to do it before.
  He is on meds because if he wasn't he would fail in school and he would have a low self esteem from always getting told what to do and to stop forgeting things.  Also he would drive me nuts from being so hyper.  the hyperness makes me feel wound up and causes me to feel stressed.
from msmuck

[cindy82]

he might have add, you might want to get him checked. good luck