My 9yr old son has recently started to show a horrible personality.

[danannn75]

My son turnrd 9 yesterday. He was diagnosed ADD when he was about 5, at 1st I thought they were wrong but they weren't. He has a mild case, isn't hyper, really he just can't stay focused(at all). He does fine on his medicine. He's always had a really sweet and kind demeanor, gets along good with classmates,etc. I've noticed this "spoiledness" coming little by little for a while now. I know exactly the source, Its his paternal grandparents. They're out of control. No matter what we try to teach him, they can undo it in 2minutes. Their health isn't so great and thats why they've got away with it this long. However, over this summer some new "side" of him emerged. Angry outburst, back talking, doing everything he wants,lying, but this new unappreciation for ANYTHING you do for him is way over the edge. I'm at my wits end. I've talked, I've asked him questions, I've punished.......nothing phases him??? And I honestly don't think this is connected to his ADD?

[Sandman2]

     Glad to hear that things are returning to normal.  Its also a good chance that once he figures out that the crying isn't working (bet it worked with his grandparents, so I really can't blame him), it will stop - and he will start looking for another way.  Kind of why working on communication is also important.
    By the way, I know that the book can be bought on Amazon for around $10.  It really is worth it as it also covers ways to help with homework and ways to get the school involved.
    And the one thing that everybody agrees on is the importance of structure - which school has now reinstated.  Please feel free to post or message if you have any more questions.

[danannn75]

Thanks for the book refference, gonna search it on my nook right now. Actually, since schools back in and our usual structure has returned to the home things seem a lot better. Still a crying outburst after being told "NO" here and there but the worries of ODD have subsided, for now.

[Sandman2]

   It also sounds like he could be going through period of his life where he is expanding and challenging his boundaries.
  Having ADD can make this a bit tougher as the kids don't tend to think out the consequences of their actions.  Its all pretty immediate for them.
   The big question is what happens once he starts school.  If after an initial sorting out period (who's gonna win - teacher or student), the teacher wins.  Then its really pretty normal and the problem does kind of deal more with the home or grandparents home setting.
   By the way, an appreciation for most anything is really more common courtesy and thus is something that is taught.
    And without going into my lengthy teenage lecture - ya its common for them to show that nothing bothers them.  Amazing how fast they can figure out that almost nothing bothers a parent more then that.  However, the point is that you are trying to change a behavior.  You don't give a  #@%$&** if it bothers them or not.  If they break a rule, this is what is gonna happen and it will happen everytime they break the rule. It doesn't matter if they laugh, cry, or pray.  It will happen everytime, until they stop breaking the rule.  Of course along with this, remember the consequence must be age appropriate, immediate (not quite as important at this age), and consistent.  And I assume you are aware of what a kid with ADD vs a kid with out ADD is capable of.  If not I suggest you get the book - "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.   She has a great section on Parenting-rules, routines and rewards (p 123-145).  Hope this helps.

[tschock]

My neice is EXACTLY the same way!
She's on meds, and is ungrateful for anything.

You'll buy her exactly what she wanted for Christmas ( or whatever ) and she'll open it, look at it, and either throw it down and scream at you because she no longer wants that thing, or she'll look at it, and totally ignore you.

She used to say thank you all the time...was very polite...and then they put her on the meds. She also started: not flushing the toilet when she goes #2, won't wipe herself, etc...and she's 13!

I suggested they take her in for new meds, and they're going to. Hopefully that's what the problem is.

I'm not saying that the meds caused her new found problems...just saying that she may need something else...as is the case with your son...he may need something else.

All in all, it COULD be related to his ADD...and/or the meds.
It's like taking an antibiotic for an extended period...you may develop an allergy to it, or it may cease to work. All meds are different, and all people react differently to them.
I can't take the ones I was given as they did the exact opposite of what they were supposed to do.  I stayed up for weeks, bounced off walls, and there was no way on earth that I could focus.
Take him to the doctor, tell him/her what's going on, and perhaps they'll try a new med...or send him for help elsewhere.

Good luck.

[thrillnikki]

Hello...is your son still on his meds? It very well sounds like a form of add.