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Socially immature or something else?
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Socially immature or something else?

My 5-year old son is attending Kindergarten this year.  Prior to this, he hasn't been to daycare, but has joined play groups and activities.  He has a speech impediment and is on a waiting list to be evaluated by a pathologist.  At home, he is very outgoing, happy, loud and active.  His attention span is sometimes very short and he needs frequent reminders to stay on task.  I have had people question if I have had him tested for ADHD, which I have not.

His teacher has had some issues with his behavior and asked me to sit in on a class to observe.  As soon as we got to the school yard he began pulling on his ears, which he continued to do throughout the day.  On the playground, he plays independently, running around and mumbling to himself.  During attendance he hovers in his cubby and doesn't respond when the teacher calls his name.  During circle time, he sits with his head down, looking at the floor and will not say a word.  When it's time to sing with his peers, he covers his ears with his hands.  I have never seen him like this in all his 5 years!  He has made two friends in his class, for which I am grateful for.  When I ask him why he pulls on his ears or why he won't sing along in class, he simply replies that he is too shy.  

I'm quite concerned about his behavior socially and have made an appointment with his Pediatrician.  Any comments, suggestions or insight would very much be appreciated.

Thanks!
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757137_tn?1347200053
He already told you what is wrong. He is shy. That is not a pathological condition, and is certainly not ADD. Give him a chance to gain self-confidence. Be patient and encouraging. Keep the school off his back.
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Avatar_m_tn
  You also didn't mention when his birthday is.  If its Sept. or later - immaturity could also be the case.
   I agree with the above, it doesn't sound like ADD or ADHD, but you didn't mention what the teachers concerns were.   It certainly does sound like he is having trouble adjusting to this new situation.  This is where a teacher giving a bit more attention and care could make a big difference.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you for your replies.  The teacher's concerns are that he is not social and refuses to participate.  Apparently, it was very easy for her and the other teachers to see that he was "different".  His birthday is in mid-June. I honestly thought that any issues he had in the classroom would be him not wanting to sit still long enough to complete his work, which has not been the case. His teacher has mentioned testing through the school, but suggested I speak with my Pediatrician first.  This has been such an overwhelming experience.  I am not dismissing what his teacher has said or what I witnessed myself, but I am hoping all he needs is some time and I just hope his school/teacher is willing to work with him.
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757137_tn?1347200053
I suffered shyness my first year at school and would not speak. But I had a great teacher. She kept me after school, squeezed herself into the desk next to me and spoke to me in whispers. I whispered back. That was the beginning of my getting up the nerve to speak in class. After that I was fine - in fact I turned out to be rambunctious. Your son just needs patience and time. There is nothing wrong with him.
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Avatar_m_tn
  Definitely agree with allmymarbles!  Do talk with his teacher and tell her what your son is like at home.  I do wonder about all your comments about ears (and of course his speech).  I think it might be a good idea to check out his hearing too.  When you say, " When it's time to sing with his peers, he covers his ears with his hands."  That bothers me.  I can think of several reasons why he might do this (going from ears, to speech to sensory integration disorder).  But I would certainly mention this to his Pediatrician and have it checked out.
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Avatar_f_tn
to me this does not sounds like ADHD, I get so tired of educators thinking every abnormality any child experiences is ADHD.  

A lot of children are bothered by music, etc.  My son had a really hard time last year in music class.  He would act out the most in that setting. Actually the principal told me that is a hard setting for a lot of kids.

HE could have sensory issues (look or sensory processing disorder).  He could have anxiety.  Maybe it is soothing to to pull his ears.  Last year, my son would bit holes in all of his shirts.  In long sleeves, he would bit the sleeves and in short sleeves, bit around the neckline.  

I would try to get the school to get him on an IEP for speech and see if he can get some extra services.  Sounds like he could really use them.  They need to quit dragging their feet.

It's hard when you hav ea summer birthday in a boy to even know what to do. My son is a May 1st baby.

My son had a horrendous year last year in Kindergarten, I see a lot of parents with boys who struggle thru kindergarten.

Drop me a note if you need to talk and we can even exchange emails.

My son is in OT for sensory processing d/o.

I hope this helps.

My son used to hide under desks and even a few times ran out and tried to run away. He would hide under the stairwell, etc.  When he first started, they had a hard time last year getting him to go to speech therapy, etc.  

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Avatar_f_tn
Is the first time posting a comment, but reading what she wrote, thought that I could serve you some help. First I think the best person you can give an accurate diagnosis is a medical specialist (to rule out possible hearing problem and so the problem of speech), a neurologist, psychologist or psychiatrist. In reading your comment reminded me when my son was that age acted the same way. Did not respond by name, the ears are often pulled or covered his ears with his hands specifically to the treble, strong or screams of other children, I was talking and seemed not to hear me, the look was aimed at a wall , the ground or another object. He liked to be alone and play alone in her room with no child objects that will attract attention, but has always been affectionate and kind to me. Not equal with other people. In the house is very systematic, everything has to be always in the same place, does not adapt to changes in routine. My son had the same problem did not speak, he began to say a few words at 3 years of age, 5 years stopped talking and so far remains the same. My son with severe autism syndrome condition is now 25 years, not much has changed. There are 3 levels of this condition, mild, moderate and severe. Light is very trainable, speak, read, write are very independent,Listen, Read phonetically, the moderates are also trainable, and severe are a little more difficult. Not all autistic sway, or move their hands repeatedly, or walking on the toes. The best we can do as parents is to accept that our children are different and seek help from medical experts and do the best we can, The miracles we leave it to God.
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