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URGENT school punishment appropriate for ADHD kids
Hi I have posted before about my grandson who is 13 now with ADHD.
He is constantly been given suspension at school in the UK. He now is PLAYING them. If he runs off with his mouth he knows he will get a day off school to just sit about watching cartoon network.
His mother is ill at the moment and just cant cope anymore.
When i have him he is PERFECT.
Anyway he got suspended AGAIN last week twice its madness as he is loosing lots of valuable education.
He is on ritalin, but keeps forgetting to take it.
I have now got a big meeting with the school and the head and the lady who deals with problem students. I rang her up and said they were making a mistake with him by keep suspending him, as he was now enjoying more time at home (to be with his mum) then he was at school.
We need to come to an agreement about how he should be punished if he does break the school rules, as I agree he should not be able to get away with bad behaviour and use his ADHD as an excuse.
Can anyone advise me on what would be best? This situation is intolerable right now.
I wish i could have him full time but I have MS and my health is not so good.
We do try to have him every saturday though and he loves his grand dad. He is so bright this boy, loves sewing and making things, and is very talented.
One thing he goes to a special project on friday and it is one to one, and they do art with him, he loves it. I am wondering if we should use this as the key to changing his behaviour. Perhaps tell him, if he doesnt toe the line he will loose his priviledge on Friday's for one week. Its funny because he will not bother with school, but never misses a friday.
Also we need to talk about perhaps moving him out of a big school with over 1,000 kids, as he is bullied.
Please help, I am pulling my hair out over my grandson who i love very much. I have the meeting on Tuesday.
He is constantly been given suspension at school in the UK. He now is PLAYING them. If he runs off with his mouth he knows he will get a day off school to just sit about watching cartoon network.
His mother is ill at the moment and just cant cope anymore.
When i have him he is PERFECT.
Anyway he got suspended AGAIN last week twice its madness as he is loosing lots of valuable education.
He is on ritalin, but keeps forgetting to take it.
I have now got a big meeting with the school and the head and the lady who deals with problem students. I rang her up and said they were making a mistake with him by keep suspending him, as he was now enjoying more time at home (to be with his mum) then he was at school.
We need to come to an agreement about how he should be punished if he does break the school rules, as I agree he should not be able to get away with bad behaviour and use his ADHD as an excuse.
Can anyone advise me on what would be best? This situation is intolerable right now.
I wish i could have him full time but I have MS and my health is not so good.
We do try to have him every saturday though and he loves his grand dad. He is so bright this boy, loves sewing and making things, and is very talented.
One thing he goes to a special project on friday and it is one to one, and they do art with him, he loves it. I am wondering if we should use this as the key to changing his behaviour. Perhaps tell him, if he doesnt toe the line he will loose his priviledge on Friday's for one week. Its funny because he will not bother with school, but never misses a friday.
Also we need to talk about perhaps moving him out of a big school with over 1,000 kids, as he is bullied.
Please help, I am pulling my hair out over my grandson who i love very much. I have the meeting on Tuesday.
COMMUNITY LEADER
That is so sad. But I must say that I am not surprised. I have seem more then one post from people in the UK that share the same problems.
And yes, if you can find a smaller school that has a clue about what is going on he has a chance. If you do decide to go the home school route (which is a tough row to hoe) I do know of an excellent book with a lot of teaching strategies. Keep in touch. If we can help, you know where to find us. Best wishes!!!!!!
And yes, if you can find a smaller school that has a clue about what is going on he has a chance. If you do decide to go the home school route (which is a tough row to hoe) I do know of an excellent book with a lot of teaching strategies. Keep in touch. If we can help, you know where to find us. Best wishes!!!!!!
Hi the visit was a waste of time. They were just there to get my daughter to sign a letter handing over her son back to the local educational authority to move into a special school, as they had decided to exclude him at the end of the term anyway, as basically cant cope with his ADHD.
I gave them a run for their money though, and told them a few home truths. I think to be honest if we can find a good school with teachers who know ADHD he will be better off then mainstream as the school he goes to has over 1,000 students.
If not we will home school him, he has had no real education anyway since he went there.
The schools in the UK need to sort themselves out with special kids. I told this guy you cant punish an ADHD kid with the same punishments as a kid who is just misbehaving. they have no clue basically as to what ADHD is.
I am going to write to our PM and tell him if he wants kids with special needs in mainstream then he needs to make sure there is a proper structure placed in the schools.
Its madness.
My grandson was given 18.5 hours by the government to pay for a teaching assistant. We found out that he was sharing this TA with another student. I was mad I can tell you. It was meant for HIM, not to share.
We are also thinking of writing to the school governors too.
I am annoyed with their attitude. If the going gets tough they just give up.
Thanks for your help though it was much appreciated.
I gave them a run for their money though, and told them a few home truths. I think to be honest if we can find a good school with teachers who know ADHD he will be better off then mainstream as the school he goes to has over 1,000 students.
If not we will home school him, he has had no real education anyway since he went there.
The schools in the UK need to sort themselves out with special kids. I told this guy you cant punish an ADHD kid with the same punishments as a kid who is just misbehaving. they have no clue basically as to what ADHD is.
I am going to write to our PM and tell him if he wants kids with special needs in mainstream then he needs to make sure there is a proper structure placed in the schools.
Its madness.
My grandson was given 18.5 hours by the government to pay for a teaching assistant. We found out that he was sharing this TA with another student. I was mad I can tell you. It was meant for HIM, not to share.
We are also thinking of writing to the school governors too.
I am annoyed with their attitude. If the going gets tough they just give up.
Thanks for your help though it was much appreciated.
Hi thank you for your wise answer. I am going to sit down and write stuff out before the meeting. What you say makes a lot of sense.
I will let you know how we get on. Thanks again. Mariax
I will let you know how we get on. Thanks again. Mariax
COMMUNITY LEADER
Welcome back! Hope we can help.
In California, a number of our schools do "in house suspension". Which means the kid stays at school in a separate room and are under supervision. They do not get to see their friends at lunch or during breaks. Some of the kids get a choice of doing homework or doing nothing all day long. And in some schools, there is a pretty good work program where they help the custodian (I like that one). That is one way the school can help.
Another way the school can help is to give him his meds. Don't know how it works in the UK, but in my school some kids report to the school nurse each day for their meds. They don't report - she goes and finds them. It works really well.
And, of course, the big problem is the question - is he doing what he is doing when he is not on meds? If thats true, then holding the special Fridays over him won't help a bit as there is no way he is even going to think about that or would have the time to think about that if he is off his meds. In fact, in the states, there would be a 504 plan addressing what the school can and cannot do to a child who has ADHD. Anyway, I would not take away the special Friday thing. The school needs to start dealing with him on a more personal level instead of just one of a 1000 kids who is mouthing off.
I can't remember - did I recommend to you buying the book - "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley. (It's about 10 bucks US). It has a lot of wonderful ways that schools can help kids. Not to mention ways to help them at home too. Its worth it.
Finally, you said, "I agree he should not be able to get away with bad behaviour and use his ADHD as an excuse. " The trouble is that having ADHD is a medical excuse for some of his behavior! The school needs to figure out what is related to ADHD and what is not and then they can more appropriately deal with the problem. The simple fact that the suspensions have not worked should be a pretty good sign that they need to try something else.
Hope this helps. Please post if you have any more questions.
In California, a number of our schools do "in house suspension". Which means the kid stays at school in a separate room and are under supervision. They do not get to see their friends at lunch or during breaks. Some of the kids get a choice of doing homework or doing nothing all day long. And in some schools, there is a pretty good work program where they help the custodian (I like that one). That is one way the school can help.
Another way the school can help is to give him his meds. Don't know how it works in the UK, but in my school some kids report to the school nurse each day for their meds. They don't report - she goes and finds them. It works really well.
And, of course, the big problem is the question - is he doing what he is doing when he is not on meds? If thats true, then holding the special Fridays over him won't help a bit as there is no way he is even going to think about that or would have the time to think about that if he is off his meds. In fact, in the states, there would be a 504 plan addressing what the school can and cannot do to a child who has ADHD. Anyway, I would not take away the special Friday thing. The school needs to start dealing with him on a more personal level instead of just one of a 1000 kids who is mouthing off.
I can't remember - did I recommend to you buying the book - "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley. (It's about 10 bucks US). It has a lot of wonderful ways that schools can help kids. Not to mention ways to help them at home too. Its worth it.
Finally, you said, "I agree he should not be able to get away with bad behaviour and use his ADHD as an excuse. " The trouble is that having ADHD is a medical excuse for some of his behavior! The school needs to figure out what is related to ADHD and what is not and then they can more appropriately deal with the problem. The simple fact that the suspensions have not worked should be a pretty good sign that they need to try something else.
Hope this helps. Please post if you have any more questions.
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