What do i do when nothing is working on my 7 yr old he just gets worse?

My son has ADHD he is on medication and in theripy. He has his doctors stumped with some of his behaviors. Now i am coming to the community too seek out solutions or help. My son continues his hurtful behavior no matter what we do it just gets worse. He steals from the family and his teachers, Tantrums at school and at home, and destroys other property. The word No sends him into a fit of rage and he harms himself. he has come to lieing about how he has gotten hurt and saying his self inflicted wounds are from his father and i hitting him we do not hit we do time outs. what do i do if nothing is working with him and he becomes more defieant everyday. His behavior is affecting everyone in the home. what do i do when we have tried everything and he is still not responding.

[Sandman2]

    What kind of medication is he on and how long has he been on it?  What kind of a doctor are you seeing?  Is the doctor doing the therapy the same one who prescribed the medication?  Does he have an IEP or 504 plan at his school?

[Motherbear12929]

My son is on the daytrana patch he just started taking it recently he was also on focalin and a few other meds that he had bad reactions too. the patch is working very well but since he knows he is not taking anything orally anymore he acts out. he has a behavioral theripist and a regular Doctor in the same center that specializes in ADHD meds and treatments.  he does have an IEP  and he is also in a special class with only 5 other students. He is in summer school right now he has alot of trouble retaining information. He does know right from wrong i have watched him closely with his behaviors to see what if it was that he didn't understand. i will ask him what did i say about stealing. he will tell me it is wrong not to do it his impulse is to do it, our family has a strict routine formed he can not cope with change very well. He has been increasingly Defieant and everything you tell him he will say ok but he goes right back to that same behavior you had just told him not too do. he smiles about it laughs at you and gets increasingly more rude. I ignore some of the lesser behaviors he does sounds to just annoy you or he will try to jump into a conversation. I do tell him not too interupt  adults while they talk it is not polite. when he does get into his rage mode we seem too have more trouble getting him too stop i have had to hold him in my lap and restrain him so not too hurt himself, i was told too ignore it by his doctor. i  ignore it he gets worse hits and puts holes in my walls. You send him to his room for 7 mins as a punishment he comes back and he poops in the floor in the bathroom and tries to cover it up or blame someone else for it. it is getting worse and worse i have brought him into the hospital he tried to choke his sister with a jump rope and threatens to stab her they said he is not a danger to anyone. he hordes food on his bedroom  he will go into the kitchen and steal food from the fridge and hide it under his blankets and bed, this after he eat 3 plates of a 5 course meal. you ask him why he did it he will come back with i don't know. at school he still tantrums  they have seen more of a change in him this year than last with his behaviors. he has been in OT Speech and sensory groups for 4 yrs. I have tried 123 magic time outs and no effect on him i have done the sticker charts and reward system no effect he will do good for a while than drop back into a disruptive routine again. i do not beleive in spanking.

[Sandman2]

   Thank you for your very complete answer.  I wanted to make sure that the meds and doctors were aliened together.  A lot of what he does is really pretty typical stuff.  And the only big mistake I see that you are making is to expect his behavior to kind of  change faster than it will happen.  There are also things he does like stealing or defiance where I think that if you had a better knowledge of why it was going on, you could understand the situation better.
   A lot of what he is doing is caused by things that have been happening to him in the past.  Its called learned behavior.  This behavior can be unlearned, but its like breaking a bad habit.  Its not easy.  I have heard experts say that it takes 28 days of constant modification for a change to take place.  I would imagine for a child with ADHD it could take even longer.  
  You are certainly doing the right thing by having him see behavioral therapist!  Hopefully, what he is working on with your child - you are also reinforcing at home.  And more importantly, I hope he is spending some time with you giving you methods to work with your son.
   I have a great site for you with lots of techniques that will really help.  Its probably the best yet that I have seen.  I think you will find it very helpful.  It also has some other great resources at the bottom of the link.   The site is:
       http://helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_parenting_strategies.htm
   This is a brief guide of parenting tips that is also very helpful
       http://www.supreme.state.az.us/casa/prepare/adhd7.html
   I also recommend this book a lot.  It covers many different aspects that you will find very helpful.  The book is "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.
   Finally, I commend you for doing what you have done so far.  There really is a lot in these sources that can help you.  To some extent, I think your expectation level has been perhaps a bit high and your knowledge of what's making him tick is a bit low.  
Best wishes.  Please post if you have any other questions.

[dollyn]

You say that you and the doctors have tried everything.

Ok so have the Doctors ran blood test on him checking for other reason's for him acting the way he is ? Or are they just saying ADHD OR ADD.Have the Doctors set your son to get a EEG and a MRI to make sure everything is ok with his brain.

I hate the drugs they us because of what they can do to a child and the family.

I give my son Omega 3-6-9 and Vitamin b6 and b12 and childrens mulitvitamins evry day. It seems to help.

My son has Seizures and we found out after he was on two different drugs wich I wish I had never let his teacher much us to get him on because she couldn't handle him.

Look up all my post and you will find info that should help you.

You may say my son is not having seizures,I didn't think so and his Doctor didn't but he finally got sick of the school teacher always having something to say,and sent my son for the EEG and said he was sorry when it came back that he was having Seizure's, We now believe my son has what they call LGS and the medicine is not working.

There are many different kind of Seizures that I have laerned about that I never new about. Youtub has a lot of them.

I hope this has helped.
god bless you and your family.

[Motherbear12929]

they have tested him medically and congnitively he they have no answers for his behavior i started a chart with him again i have outlined the rules of the house and outlined the consequences so if he breaks a rule of the house he gets the consesuence that fits the behavior seems too be working for right now but as i said before his actions do turn fast so not sure if it will work for long. i will keep at him and make sure he understands the rules and the actions to his behaviors...our most recent is when he is upset with his father and i he tells the school we hit him this is after he injures himself useually 2 days later he tells the teachers we hit him we have had CSP at our door because of it and they can tell it is an old bruise and it is self inflicted.i just wish the school would pay better attention too what is going on. i finally talked to his teacher and told her not too take so literally what he says because alot of the time he tends to over exsaderate what is happening. we may do time outs and ground him too his room for severe behavior like pulling knives on his sister or even hitting with intent to harm but hitting is not and will never be something i do in my house. i sit with him nightly talking to him see how his day was and have him draw out his feelings. play a bit and watch family movies all seems too help to some extent but we are still working on his emotional behavior.

[specialmom]

I just wanted to give my endorsement to the sites that Sandman has posted and the book he recommends.  I think you'll find them most helpful.  

I would like to mention occupational therapy as an option as well.  I have found OT to be an excellent way to address behavior.  They've give us several strategies to help our son with anger and meltdowns.  They do play therapy that directly affects the nervous system (my son has sensory integration disorder which is very similar to add/adhd and is often mistaken as such.  Both have similar symptoms.)------ and then work on behavioral aspects that are troubing a child. Many insurance benefits will pay for this.  It is worth checking out.  good luck

[ibtryin]

my+six+year+old+has+trouble+with+some+of+the+same+things+its+like+he+cant+get+control+over+himself+the+only+thing+that+we+have+found+is+to+sit+down+and+hold+him+for+a+moment+and+tell+him+you+need+to+calm+down+and+get+control+until+it+passes+it+sounds+a+bit+harsh+but+at+timesits+better+than+what+he+could+inflict+on+himself+or+other+people+

[specialmom]

Yes, ibtryin, deep pressure is something that is calming to children that have issues with their nervous system.  A firm hug  can soothe it.  

[Motherbear12929]

my son has ot everyday at school still has no effect on his behavior he was in it at home till school age now we are trying to get him an ICM and it is with the hope that an icm will prove with alot better results. he may just need a few hrs away from his father and i doing something fun and finding himself something less destructive to do or away to put his destructive thoughts into a constructive activity this way he has an outlet. thnx for all your advise.

[Sandman2]

  By the way I just read the two articles listed in "todays pulse".  If you haven't checked them out, its very good information and might be helpful (probably in a small way).
   The articles are:8 ADHD Culprits Lurking in Your Home
Could your home be a haven for toxins that can cause ADHD?
     9 Worst Foods for ADD - Plus 1 That Can Help