What do we do now after Conners test?

[mommy2sixcuties]

I have a 7 year old daughter in 2nd grade.  She does very well in school and had all A's on her report card.  However, she has such a hard time focusing and doing her homework.  We spend at least 1 hour doing 15 minutes of work.  She will need to read her spelling word list (15 words) and she goes off on tangents.  If she doesn't know a word, she doesn't even try to sound it out and wants you to just tell her.  She cannot sit in her seat and is back and forth between the dining room and living room.  It is ridiculous trying to get her to read.  She was behind last year but apparently is caught up.  The teacher says she is doing fine but we cannot figure out how that can be.  She gets things wrong because she says "the teacher didn't tell us what to do" when really we are sure she just wasn't paying attention.  She gets angry when you ask her to sound words out or to do a page of homework.

Lately she has been having tantrums and seems very angry in general.  We don't understand what is going on.  The school social worker did the Conners survey with us and the teacher.  Her scores were high (70-85) at home but in the 40's-50's for school.  We don't know what to do now and are thinking about taking her somewhere to be evaluated.  But we are not sure where?  What type of doctor?  She is our 3rd child and we wonder if it's because she's in the middle.  We have 6 kids and things are very hectic and busy around the house.  Does she do it for attention or is there really something wrong?  It is so frustrating and we don't know where to go from here.  

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you

[mommy2sixcuties]

Thank you Sandman2.  That is exactly our thoughts.  She is getting by right now but what about in a year or 2.  I see what my older kids are doing and hubby and I look at each other like "How is she going to manage this?"  We thought if we could learn how to help her now maybe she won't have so much trouble later but nobody seems to think there is a problem so we have been given no tips or strategies.  That is why I think a psychologist would be best, just to help us learn to handle her.  I am not into medications unless absolutely necessary and at this stage, I don't think they would be.  I am more focused on a behavioural approach.  

Thanks everyone, any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

[Sandman2]

   It sounds like she is very intelligent and has been able to use that to get around any shortcomings her lack of focus would bring.  If this is true, about 4th or 5th. grade things can get difficult enough school wise (usually in math) to really began to cause problems.It does sound like she is beginning to get frustrated by the academic process, which was always a indication to me of the possibility of ADHD.
  If you continue to have problems and if some of the excellent ideas by aquamarinemom don't work out.  It probably would be worth getting her evaluated by a psyc who specializes in ADHD.  If you do watch the video recommended by dollyn, just realize that  "Dr. Breeding is definitely affiliated with Scientology", which gives a certain slant to his approach.
  I would recommend that you try reading  Sandra Rief’s "How to Reach and Teach Children with ADD/ADHD".  Its probably one of the best, most practical and up-to-date books out there.  

[mommy2sixcuties]

Thank you both for your advice.  This has been going on for 2 years now and we have tried giving her "alone" time with us.  I will try using a chart and see if that helps and also I am about to watch that video.  Thank you again....we are thinking about having her seen by a psychologist to see about behavioral therapy since maybe it is due to the family dynamic.  I certainly need help learning how to deal with her because what we are doing is certainly not working.

Thanks again!

[dollyn]

you should watch this before you do anything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7NxJn9Mk4c

also try giving her Vitamin B6 and Omega 3-6-9. it has helped my son,who is having a heard time learning because of Seizures. And he was on those medicines for add and ahdd.they made him worse and not better.

[aquamarine_moon]

If the problems are severe enough, you should take her to a child psychologist.  They are the only ones qualified to give the type of testing she needs (not social workers, not psychiatrists).  
However, if she did well on the Conners screen, I am not convinced she needs professional help.  My guess is that she feels that she gets attention/stimulation at school and that she is vying for attention at home. And negative attention is still attention.  I would still help her with her homework (of course), but I would add a behavioral token system for doing well.  For example, if she pays attention (to a reasonable degree) and doesn't get angry, she gets a token.  And, a token gets her 10 minutes to play with mommy by herself (or get a book read to her, and so on).  I think this will help.
Good luck to you!