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Worried about long term effects of Adderall
I have been reading about the effects of Adderall. I have noticed in my son and step-son both that they have dispayed some signs of Autism. I was wondering if it was a possibility that it could be another long term adverse effect of the Adderall? They have become very nervous and fidgety, neither were before taking this medication. My step-son has the most severe sypmtoms.
I would love to be able to talk to you..... I am going through the exact same thing you are. The emotions, the feelings...everything. I was reading your post and it was like I was reading about myself.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Those are all the signs of her taking too much. In other words she is over doseing herself. She should talk with her doc and cut back on the dosage. If she has a high protein breakfast, the extended version should last long enough. Or there are other meds like Vyvannse that last even longer, and are smoother.
Do you know how much she is taking and when?
Do you know how much she is taking and when?
I am on this site because my girlfriend started taking adderall about 6 months ago. She has ADD and her boss was getting on her that she would lose her job if she did not become more organized and focused. She warned me before she started taking it that she had been on it previously and had quit taking it because it made her depressed, moody and that could no longer orgasm while on these meds. Well that is exactly what has happened. She lashes out all the time....our sex life took an immediate dump.....she is very depressed all the time. I have told her to get off the meds or the relationship is over. I feel like i'm in love with a crazy person since she started taking adderall. The only thing it does for her is help her exceed at work. Her work is happy with her but the quality of her personal life has gone down hill. I hate what this drug has done to her. NOBODY should be taking speed! .... I don't care what your diagnosis is or how much it helps someone in school or work....hell speed would help anyone with that...it's speed! It gives you more energy and heightens your sense awareness and focus! but as with any drug there are repercussions.
Just to add my 2 cents in on this. I have MS. I take 20 MG time released capsules every morning. I have minimal side effects from not taking it. I am very tired as the day goes on but I have NO "craving" for the drug. I try not to take it on the weekends for the simple reason I hate taking any drugs so I avoid them when I can.
The results of taking the Adderall are amazing for ME. I can stay awake all day, organize my thoughts and just function like I should. Without it I am very tired by the end of the day, have trouble remembering, and i am generally unorganized. The side effect of the drug for me is I have trouble sleeping at night.
It a viscous circle for me. I take the Adderall to stay awake during the day and pop a couple of Advill PM to sleep at night.
Overall the side effect are mush less bothersome than not taking anything
As with any drug what works for one won't work for the other so its a trial and error issue. Luckily it work for me!!
Hope this might help someone make an informed decision as to whether or not to take this.
The results of taking the Adderall are amazing for ME. I can stay awake all day, organize my thoughts and just function like I should. Without it I am very tired by the end of the day, have trouble remembering, and i am generally unorganized. The side effect of the drug for me is I have trouble sleeping at night.
It a viscous circle for me. I take the Adderall to stay awake during the day and pop a couple of Advill PM to sleep at night.
Overall the side effect are mush less bothersome than not taking anything
As with any drug what works for one won't work for the other so its a trial and error issue. Luckily it work for me!!
Hope this might help someone make an informed decision as to whether or not to take this.
To all the people claiming 2 have withdrawals or addictions 2 Adderall PLEASE get a 2nd opinion bc you must have been misdiagnosed...I am the poster child for the addictive personality I'm 36 I smoke cigs & pot daily drink 2 2ltr diet comes a day & drink a couple times a wk & although I don't seek it out I can't say no if I'm offered cocaine & will keep going til it's gone same goes for ecstasy & hallucinogens BUT I've been on Adderall for @ least 8yrs now & other than being sluggish & unmotivated hav gone days & even wks w/o it & not had ANY withdrawals
The misinformation and displaced anger exhibited in threads like these is shocking. One wouldn't take a grandparent's blood pressure pills, pass out and drop to the floor a few times and conclude the drug is dangerous. Similarly, one wouldn't take a neighbor's chemotherapy pills, end up near death in an emergency room, then claim the drug manufacturer is selling poison. Just as one wouldn't take someone else's siezure medication, experience terrifying side effects, and announce to the world that no one should take it.
No, those absurd reactions would be as stupid as someone taking a pharmaceutical designed only for definitive ADD, experiencing side effects, then proclaiming no one should ever take it.
The medical journals regarding this topic are very explicit: more than half of those currently taking prescribed ADD meds have been diagnosed incorrectly and/or are on the wrong medication. For those lacking in statistical skill, logical application, or common sense, this means you can completely ignore the majority of negative posts on this topic.
Personally, I owe the last eleven years of my adult life to this compound, and to the doctors who correctly diagnosed and prescribed it for my condition. I am SO grateful to have been born at a time in human history when imbalances or conditions such as mine could be recognized and effectively treated. If not, I most certainly would not be alive, healthy, and active today at age 58, enjoying 5 incredible grandchildren, my wonderful wife of 36 years, and still working two full time jobs.
By age 47, I was falling asleep at the wheel, I was in a perpetual state of exhaustion, my body felt like it was falling apart, and I was pretty much losing my will to live. After UNsuccessful outcomes with antidepressants, anti-narcoleptics, and even antischizophrenic drugs, my doctor at the time, had me try straterra, ritalin, then adderal. It was only adderall that fit. I was alert and focused when I needed to be, yet I could/can still fall asleep in under 2 minutes anytime, anywhere, if I can sit somewhere and you let me have a ten minute nap.
I was on 20mg, twice a day, for a couple years. And I've been on 30mg, twice/day for an additional 9 years. I believe the reason I haven't experienced tolerance, and therefore a need to increase the dosage, is I don't take it when I know I'll be doing something very active, plus I'll randomly take half-tabs every so often instead of full tabs. I feel it has helped me to NOT maintain a high, steady-state background level all the time.
Anyway, bottom-line, I feel bad for the sincere posters who have been misdiagnosed and don't know it. I feel sorry for those correctly diagnosed who haven't discovered their optimum treatment. And, what a travesty to those of you who felt the need to abuse perfectly good meds, then blame them on the consequences.
No, those absurd reactions would be as stupid as someone taking a pharmaceutical designed only for definitive ADD, experiencing side effects, then proclaiming no one should ever take it.
The medical journals regarding this topic are very explicit: more than half of those currently taking prescribed ADD meds have been diagnosed incorrectly and/or are on the wrong medication. For those lacking in statistical skill, logical application, or common sense, this means you can completely ignore the majority of negative posts on this topic.
Personally, I owe the last eleven years of my adult life to this compound, and to the doctors who correctly diagnosed and prescribed it for my condition. I am SO grateful to have been born at a time in human history when imbalances or conditions such as mine could be recognized and effectively treated. If not, I most certainly would not be alive, healthy, and active today at age 58, enjoying 5 incredible grandchildren, my wonderful wife of 36 years, and still working two full time jobs.
By age 47, I was falling asleep at the wheel, I was in a perpetual state of exhaustion, my body felt like it was falling apart, and I was pretty much losing my will to live. After UNsuccessful outcomes with antidepressants, anti-narcoleptics, and even antischizophrenic drugs, my doctor at the time, had me try straterra, ritalin, then adderal. It was only adderall that fit. I was alert and focused when I needed to be, yet I could/can still fall asleep in under 2 minutes anytime, anywhere, if I can sit somewhere and you let me have a ten minute nap.
I was on 20mg, twice a day, for a couple years. And I've been on 30mg, twice/day for an additional 9 years. I believe the reason I haven't experienced tolerance, and therefore a need to increase the dosage, is I don't take it when I know I'll be doing something very active, plus I'll randomly take half-tabs every so often instead of full tabs. I feel it has helped me to NOT maintain a high, steady-state background level all the time.
Anyway, bottom-line, I feel bad for the sincere posters who have been misdiagnosed and don't know it. I feel sorry for those correctly diagnosed who haven't discovered their optimum treatment. And, what a travesty to those of you who felt the need to abuse perfectly good meds, then blame them on the consequences.
COMMUNITY LEADER
A great answer, but you may not have noticed if you were reading this via your phone that Lisa posted once in 2007 and never posted again - so I doubt that she read your great answer. Which is a shame because I have an idea of how long it must have taken you to type the post on your phone.
You can always click on the posters name and see when the last time or how many times they have posted.
I do hope that you will continue to post here as its nice to have someone else with experience.
You can always click on the posters name and see when the last time or how many times they have posted.
I do hope that you will continue to post here as its nice to have someone else with experience.
I have been on addrell for over ten years and have tried many other adhd medication. I am also a coach, run the local CHADD chapter and was a drug and achohol councillor. I am also typing this on my phone so if a crazy word pops up i am blaming auto correct.
After reading the post before mine i will have to say the key here is to take care of your self first. Meds or not. Here are the tips i give everyone on this meds
Adderal makes you dehidreated, dring water.
Adderal works with protein, eat a good protein based brakfast.
Adderal effects your apatite, eat something at each meal. It does not need to be a big meal but you need something.
Always take your meds every day. Personally i do the normal release so i can control my meds. Crazy days i take my fun doseage. Calm, lazy days i talk half or less. But i always take something. This is to advoid withdraw and a crash when i take my full dosage again.
Withdraw *****, it is the caffine headake from hell, moodness, and you are exhausted. Think about it. Your body is expecting a stimulant and you just took it away. You will crave caffine and suger. It can last days or weeks. It deepens on how long and how much. Caffine can help.
This last bit i can not stress enough. Everyone picks there way of medicating there adhd. This can be with caffine, energy drinks and shots, coffee, street drugs, cigs, etc. It is not the med you get addicted to it is the feeling that you can be "normal" and thrive. Do what works for you and take care of you. Good luck!!!
After reading the post before mine i will have to say the key here is to take care of your self first. Meds or not. Here are the tips i give everyone on this meds
Adderal makes you dehidreated, dring water.
Adderal works with protein, eat a good protein based brakfast.
Adderal effects your apatite, eat something at each meal. It does not need to be a big meal but you need something.
Always take your meds every day. Personally i do the normal release so i can control my meds. Crazy days i take my fun doseage. Calm, lazy days i talk half or less. But i always take something. This is to advoid withdraw and a crash when i take my full dosage again.
Withdraw *****, it is the caffine headake from hell, moodness, and you are exhausted. Think about it. Your body is expecting a stimulant and you just took it away. You will crave caffine and suger. It can last days or weeks. It deepens on how long and how much. Caffine can help.
This last bit i can not stress enough. Everyone picks there way of medicating there adhd. This can be with caffine, energy drinks and shots, coffee, street drugs, cigs, etc. It is not the med you get addicted to it is the feeling that you can be "normal" and thrive. Do what works for you and take care of you. Good luck!!!
You're coming down. Get over it for Christ's sake. I thought about swallowing the end of a rifle, but that is life and today's society attributing to that perspective. Sleep, get up and move on.
I just wanted to let you know that you are spot on in regard to what you said. I am a licensed independent psychotherapist and I have seen the symptoms of many disorders in many people. The symptoms of ADHD can look just like bipolar disorder. Any stimulant for ADHD is a paradoxical medication. If you do not have ADHD it will not work the same as it does for someone who actually has the disorder. And as with any medication, it can effect everyone differently. I personally have diagnosed both bipolar disorder and ADHD and it is a fairly tedious process. Many doctors will give individuals medication for a disorder not really knowing what the diagnosis really is. Sometimes it is very obvious a person has a disorder and sometimes it is a matter of checking the diagnostic criteria over as well as monitoring someone over a period of time to make sure.
yea, like any other drug you feel AMAZING at first, even the first few years give it time. All it is; is clean meth.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Welcome to the world of adult ADD. Pretty classic stuff. Some thoughts.
Ya, the grammar does drive me a bit nutty - but you should see the posts on the child behavior sites. I tend to think that those people with a better education have more money and thus get doctors who actually give a damn and do more then just hand out pills. Thus, they are less likely to post here cause they got docs who take the time to inform them what is going on.
I have seen numerous adult posts where they have been able to use the adderall on demand. Either by taking it at a certain time of the day or when some really important event was going on.
I also think that the more you learn about adult ADD, the more you will learn how to understand and thus compensate for it. There are two good adult ADD sites that I know of. They are a little difficult to navigate and not as personal as this, but they have a ton of info and plenty of people who are going through what you are going through. http://jeffsaddmind.com/for-first-time-visitors would be my first choice to check out - but it will eat up your time. Its almost addicting. The second site is totallyadd.com and also has a ton of info. In both of the sites check out the sections on what it like to have ADD - you will find your self mentioned there a lot.
Finally, sites like Jeffs have now been posting for 5 years. You will find people with med experiences that will be helpful to to.
Thanks for posting and if we can answer any more questions, please feel free to post. Or, if you have anything to share about your journey - please do so. Best wishes.
Ya, the grammar does drive me a bit nutty - but you should see the posts on the child behavior sites. I tend to think that those people with a better education have more money and thus get doctors who actually give a damn and do more then just hand out pills. Thus, they are less likely to post here cause they got docs who take the time to inform them what is going on.
I have seen numerous adult posts where they have been able to use the adderall on demand. Either by taking it at a certain time of the day or when some really important event was going on.
I also think that the more you learn about adult ADD, the more you will learn how to understand and thus compensate for it. There are two good adult ADD sites that I know of. They are a little difficult to navigate and not as personal as this, but they have a ton of info and plenty of people who are going through what you are going through. http://jeffsaddmind.com/for-first-time-visitors would be my first choice to check out - but it will eat up your time. Its almost addicting. The second site is totallyadd.com and also has a ton of info. In both of the sites check out the sections on what it like to have ADD - you will find your self mentioned there a lot.
Finally, sites like Jeffs have now been posting for 5 years. You will find people with med experiences that will be helpful to to.
Thanks for posting and if we can answer any more questions, please feel free to post. Or, if you have anything to share about your journey - please do so. Best wishes.
I've been prescribed adderrall for 6 years. Personally I don't think any parents should allow there child to take amphetamines & after all of the different highs and lows I've had from the drug I couldn't imagine how a kid in elementary school would benefit from this.. I was diagnosed with add when I was 8 & i struggled with my grades but I managed. I wish that adderrall wouldn't have ever been an option for me because I definitely have the same problems as everyone above.
There are facts about the damage these drugs do. I have compiled studies on my website ritalinawareness.com if you care to read it. We are talking about our experiences with these drugs so that parents have another perspective about the medications so that they can make an informed decision. The bottom line is that if the child doesn't feel right on the drug, then the child should not have to take it. Both me and nataliepk had bad experiences when we were on the drug and the doctors didn't listen or intervene to get us off the drug. If the drug really works for someone, good. The major problem comes when the child is suffering on the drug and the doctors are ignoring it.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Very good comments. Welcome to this site. I hope you keep sharing your information with us. Its always good to hear from those personally involved. By the way there are a variety of reasons why a person might be on more than 30 mgs a day - most dealing with the uptake of the med. So it is possible that there is a valid need for a larger dose - we are all different.
well, I was told I had ADD in the 7th grade. At the time it it cost too much for my mother to have me tested and I told her not to do. Again freshman yr of college one of my professors asked me about it again. Long story short I was test for it at my university and at a Dr. office. The outcome was yes you have ADD. I've been taking 30 mg once a day for 6yrs. Never any more then that! No, weight loss or gain ( to me is a good thing). I don't know if it's just me but it works. I would suggest to listen to your dr. I did have a few minor side effect at first but it was because they were trying to find the right dose and were using other med. than adderall. For the dry mouth thing just chew gum all day and make sure to drink a lot of water! Good luck everyone!
Oh yeah and for the parents who have kids with ADD or ADHD check out this web pg http://www.drugs.com/pro/adderall-xr.html
Good luck to all!
P.S. If your Dr. has you on more than 30 RX mg a day I would suggest finding a new Dr.
Oh yeah and for the parents who have kids with ADD or ADHD check out this web pg http://www.drugs.com/pro/adderall-xr.html
Good luck to all!
P.S. If your Dr. has you on more than 30 RX mg a day I would suggest finding a new Dr.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Have you had any panic attacks or anxiety since going off the med?
i personaly agree with what you wrote. I am 20 and was put on adderall from 5-17. it caused serever joint pain, panic attacks, and bad mood swings. i do agree kids should not be put on adderall
I have ADHD and I have an 8 year old son that has Autism. He isn't medicated but I take Adderall 10mg 3x a day. If your sons are in the early stages of taking the medication they will show symptoms of nervousness until they are used to the effects. They will go away but autistic children on stimulants can be a good thing or a bad thing. If they were hyper or unable to focus before it should help in a few weeks or months but if they were perscribed Adderall for autism you should get a 2nd opinion by a Psychiarist or a Nerologist whom specialize in disorders of the mind.
Thanks for your feedback you guys...
The night that I wrote this entry like I had said, I was having really bad withdrawl symptoms after stopping taking my medication cold turkey...while usually being prescribed 20mg a day for about 2 yrs....I was only off of it for about a week or so, and as I know your not supposed to stop any medication you take long term like that cold turkey, but the prescribed tablet adderall I was prescribed to was on backorder and then just recently was taken off the market. Well I told my mom the feelings I was experiencing all the research I was reading about adderall that really freaked me out and made me even MORE ANXIOUS...Made me want to get off of it...well she took my script to the doc. and he put me on the XR instead which I guess I not off the market...and its still different then Im used too, and Im still feeling unbalanced...sometimes it works good and other times it doesnt or makes me anxious or cloudy...I don't know if its too high of a dosage..or Im not used to it or what??? Because I literally took my previously prescribed 20 mg adderall tablet once a day..and I usually would split it in half and take half in the morning and the other half later on in the day...so now that Im taking 20 mg XR is that why its making me feel like this? Also what is considered, "Long term Use?" Is two years Long term? Is it time I get off? Also I do not have health insurance so its expensivd as hell to go to the doctor every time, since I just recently moved back home and had to switch doctors my first visit was $100 and every additional visit will be $50! Im still thinking maybe I should just get off them all together, but Im scared and I don't know what to do...
The night that I wrote this entry like I had said, I was having really bad withdrawl symptoms after stopping taking my medication cold turkey...while usually being prescribed 20mg a day for about 2 yrs....I was only off of it for about a week or so, and as I know your not supposed to stop any medication you take long term like that cold turkey, but the prescribed tablet adderall I was prescribed to was on backorder and then just recently was taken off the market. Well I told my mom the feelings I was experiencing all the research I was reading about adderall that really freaked me out and made me even MORE ANXIOUS...Made me want to get off of it...well she took my script to the doc. and he put me on the XR instead which I guess I not off the market...and its still different then Im used too, and Im still feeling unbalanced...sometimes it works good and other times it doesnt or makes me anxious or cloudy...I don't know if its too high of a dosage..or Im not used to it or what??? Because I literally took my previously prescribed 20 mg adderall tablet once a day..and I usually would split it in half and take half in the morning and the other half later on in the day...so now that Im taking 20 mg XR is that why its making me feel like this? Also what is considered, "Long term Use?" Is two years Long term? Is it time I get off? Also I do not have health insurance so its expensivd as hell to go to the doctor every time, since I just recently moved back home and had to switch doctors my first visit was $100 and every additional visit will be $50! Im still thinking maybe I should just get off them all together, but Im scared and I don't know what to do...
Yes, if you're on the wrong meds and they're causing horrible effects, then by all means, get off of them, and if your providers won't listen to your desire to try other meds or other types of treatment, then get different ones who will.
That being said, stimulant therapy does help most children and adults with AD/HD. Some have other neuro issues in addition or other physiological reasons that stimulants might not work or might have intolerable side effects.
Remember that AD/HD is usually diagnosed behaviorally, that is, by a provider who observes the signs of it. Most providers aren't doing a full neuropsych testing battery, often because insurance won't pay for it. So, a lot of people are getting the AD/HD diagnosis when they actually have other issues that are causing AD/HD symptoms (could be an anxiety disorder, hormonal disorder, trauma symptoms, childhood depression, sensory processing disorder -- the list goes on and on). For these folks who don't actually have the biochemistry of AD/HD, stimulants help some of them manage their AD/HD-like symptoms, but for other folks, it doesn't help or makes things worse.
If you can find a way to pay for it, I would suggest doing ongoing therapy with a psychologist, counselor (expressive therapist if for a child), and/or an occupational therapist. Doing ongoing work with these folks and having them really get to know you will help you get a more accurate diagnosis as to whether it's really AD/HD or whether there are other issues. A psychiatric prescriber who sees you a few times for a short visit can often correctly diagnose you, but often also is missing part of the picture because s/he doesn't usually have the benefit of talking or playing with patients for an hour a week to get to really know them. Once you have a clearer diagnostic picture, then the ongoing therapist can report to the prescriber and get you on meds that more accurately target your issues.
That being said, stimulant therapy does help most children and adults with AD/HD. Some have other neuro issues in addition or other physiological reasons that stimulants might not work or might have intolerable side effects.
Remember that AD/HD is usually diagnosed behaviorally, that is, by a provider who observes the signs of it. Most providers aren't doing a full neuropsych testing battery, often because insurance won't pay for it. So, a lot of people are getting the AD/HD diagnosis when they actually have other issues that are causing AD/HD symptoms (could be an anxiety disorder, hormonal disorder, trauma symptoms, childhood depression, sensory processing disorder -- the list goes on and on). For these folks who don't actually have the biochemistry of AD/HD, stimulants help some of them manage their AD/HD-like symptoms, but for other folks, it doesn't help or makes things worse.
If you can find a way to pay for it, I would suggest doing ongoing therapy with a psychologist, counselor (expressive therapist if for a child), and/or an occupational therapist. Doing ongoing work with these folks and having them really get to know you will help you get a more accurate diagnosis as to whether it's really AD/HD or whether there are other issues. A psychiatric prescriber who sees you a few times for a short visit can often correctly diagnose you, but often also is missing part of the picture because s/he doesn't usually have the benefit of talking or playing with patients for an hour a week to get to really know them. Once you have a clearer diagnostic picture, then the ongoing therapist can report to the prescriber and get you on meds that more accurately target your issues.
you were being niave. Not everyone is the same. and it sounds to me you took extra and extra not because of the drug itself but because of the effects. the drug is not bad it helps people concentrate. people that see the drastic change in their work habits may take an extra fine liking to the drug and start to take more to further the effects. amphetamines when taken regularly block the recycling of dopemines in the brain causing them to be washed away instead of reused. this, in turn, lowers the amount of dopemine the brain has to release causing a person that is seeking that dramatic change to think that more is needed to get it. and it isnt because the brain simply cannot produce that stimulation. if taken properly and with self consciousness it is helpful for everyday tasks dealing with focus. obviously you have been mislead by you past doctors that are clearly abusing powers for money. i have had this happen and so have many others. it is not the doctors fault or the governments fault. it is in part but the responsibilty mostly falls on your shoulders and clearly you let it get the best of you. drug arent bad. people are bad. its kinda like how guns dont kill people, people kill people.
you were being niave. Not everyone is the same. and it sounds to me you took extra and extra not because of the drug itself but because of the effects. the drug is not bad it helps people concentrate. people that see the drastic change in their work habits may take an extra fine liking to the drug and start to take more to further the effects. amphetamines when taken regularly block the recycling of dopemines in the brain causing them to be washed away instead of reused. this, in turn, lowers the amount of dopemine the brain has to release causing a person that is seeking that dramatic change to think that more is needed to get it. and it isnt because the brain simply cannot produce that stimulation. if taken properly and with self consciousness it is helpful for everyday tasks dealing with focus. obviously you have been mislead by you past doctors that are clearly abusing powers for money. i have had this happen and so have many others. it is not the doctors fault or the governments fault. it is in part but the responsibilty mostly falls on your shoulders and clearly you let it get the best of you. drug arent bad. people are bad. its kinda like how guns dont kill people, people kill people.
After reading over half of these entries I decided I needed to post one of my own. I am 25/yr old female who has been diagnosed with ADD, and it also runs in my family. Not only do I have ADD, but I suffer from both anxiety/panic attacks. I realize that their is relationship with the medication of adderall and anxiety, but I was experiencing the severe anxiety way before I was medicated for adderall (20 mg). Now I am a strong believer that all Drugs/ Substances affect people differently! This is obvious to me because every person is different, our brain chemistry is different...no two people are identical. So even if their is a common disability such as ADD, and people are taking a common medication such as adderall...it doesnt mean it is going to effect them in the same exact way...and this goes for both the pro's and the con's. Ive been on my medication now for about two years and have been on the fence with attempting to get off it, but it is a struggle. I do have ADD, such as a VERY short attention span, impulsivness, scatterbrained, disorganization, overly social, get bored easily...etc etc.. Which can make life very difficult at times...especially with all the tasks "the man, and the world makes you do..." I find that the medicine does help me to focus better, put me in the zone, be more organized, attentive, quieter....which I mean there are pro's and cons to both sides of the spectrum. I am a musician/artist...I find most people that are in the artistic realm or creative mind commonly coincide with people that are ADD...so when I'm not taking my medication I am more outgoing, and free spirited and creative...and people/myself love this about me...But I guess with everything you have to take the BAD with the GOOD....Does the Good outweigh the BAD or does the BAD outweigh the GOOD??? I guess thats the main question...I also fear and worry the side effects and long term affects that it has on the brain and my brain chemistry. I currently have not taken my medication for about a week while used to taking 20 mg EVERY DAY..and Ive been on a mental emotional physical roller coaster...and not a good one. I have really bad anxiety, I feel off, I feel tired, unfocused, dislexic , "Darkclouded/detached" ...so I don't know...I have experienced these symptoms before as I have said I do suffer from anxiety/panic disorder....Sometimes I just want to get off EVERYTHING all together but I don't know if I can, should, what the negative outcomes will be....just writing this entry I already feel all over the place, so I hope it makes sense to some. Im also a very deep thinker, emotional, analytical, and spiritual.....so sometimes I wonder if it has anything to do with those factors. At the end of the day, I really just try to pray to God and hope he gives me an answer or supernaturally heals me. Now I know some people possibly "non christians" think Im off my rocker now because Ohhhh noo I mentioned God! But no...Im not crazy, and Im not knocking anyones beliefs...Sometimes it just all seems like such a tasks...ya know GUYS??? Its like we didn't pop out of the womb needing medication and doctors and all this stuff....and then WHAT HAPPEND??? Im still so unsure of it all, and what Im going to do about my situation...any questions, comments, concerns??? Would love to hear them! One Love and God Bless you All!
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