My partner of 4years has add and adhd just wondering if anybody could help or keypointers from someone who spouse with someone similar, day in day out nothing seems to bee good enough im also wondering if he may also suffer with things such as depression anxiety bypola, im not sure how to explain his ways but his personality is different everyday, he continues to criticize me everyday always axtious on my where abouts please help...
I think I can help, but my husband is the one who deals with me (the one diagnosed with ADD and medicated for about five years. I felt like I was reading my husbands journal when I read your note! Is he medicated or seeking professional help and has he been evaluated for emotional/mental illness? ADD/ADHD often goes untreated or mistreated because the symptoms are similar with other disorders. I can get in to ore detail and give you my personal advice from experience with a little more information. My heart goes out to you (well, I'm sure my husbands does!)
Its not uncommon for someone who has ADHD to have low self esteem. I mean they have gone through years of being criticized for things that they had little control over. And if you have low self esteem, you also tend to have anxiety, depression, and the list goes on. It sounds like Eshley has some very helpful info (thank you for posting).
I would also suggest that you check out this site - http://jeffsaddmind.com/category/marriage. I choose his link on marriage but it really is worth just looking at all of the topics. He pretty well states it like it is and has really good feedback posts too.
For you, it will be very helpful if you can understand the ADHD personality. But more importantly, once you have a feeling where he is coming from, you need to let him know where you are coming from. In short, you need to start communicating with each other. You might need professional help to make this productive - or not.
I'm not sure about his personality changing every day - is he self medicating? But, there is no excuse for him to criticize you everyday.
Hope some of this helps. Best wishes.
He use to be on Dexephedemeans 2years ago but he pilulled away from them, cause they were causing him too hear and see things (like literally he would wake up during the night and tell me people were outside, also he would acuse me of awful things best left un-said) he would also stay up 24-7 telling me that i am cheating on him... he wount go seek help because i know he is in denial of his condition. Please i hope u are able to help it will be much appreciated. Thank you
After reading your post I can only begin to sympathise with you both .
I am diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar disorder but I m also diagnosed with Adhd. Separating my two illnesses was very difficult as they can both present with similar symptoms. I have only been treated for my Adhd for just over a year. I can't take the first line medications that are preliminary prescribed for Adhd because of my bipolar so I use a medication that me and my Pdoc extensively researched and decided to try. Modafinil Is newly being tried in some cases of Adhd and a drug that is being tested for bipolar.I take modafinil, which is primarily used for narcolepsy. To help with not only my Adhd symptoms ( which has really helped me especially with my concentration) and has helped with the depressive symptoms I get with my rapid cycling bipolar too.
Right, sorry to disagree a little with a comment earlier but people who deal with Adhd can also suffer from depressive episodes, I was told this by my sons Pdoc as he also has Adhd and informed us that this was something we needed to be aware of incase it reached a point where medication treatment was needed or would be beneficial.
It's very true that many mental health disorders can present with similar symptoms, making a full diagnosis a hard and long road.
Mental disorders run comorbid with ADHD. I understand being supportive and empathetic. However, if he will not seek the help necessary to treat you the way you should be, I would consider leaving him. Do not stay in a relationship that is bad for your mental health. I dated a man that was diagnosed Bi-Polar, then Schizophrenic later, and he was a very toxic individual. I stayed for 3 years and tried to be supportive of him, but he was too sick to change. I am now struggling with PTSD from that experience.
Having ADHD is no excuse to treat someone bad, I have ADHD and I do not treat others that way. It sounds like he has some mood or personality disorder, to be honest. Tell him how you feel and see if he's willing to give therapy an honest chance. If he goes and you do not see changes in 6 months, he probably won't change. You'll have to decide what is in your best interest. My heart really goes out to you because I know that you are in a difficult place. I also worry for your wellbeing.
Thank you all for ur help, i have told him he needs help he is telling me i need help, is there away of getting him help without him getting offended? Please help, i have considered leaving him i am still thinking about it. Thank u all
Boy, its hard to help those who don't want to help themselves. My suggestion would be for him to make sure that he understands what he is dealing with and how it affects him. If he can understand himself, its easier to deal with others.
See if you can get him interested in the same site I recommended to you. There is also another site called totallyadd.com which uses a lot of videos which are very well done. It is easier to watch those then to read all the things on Jeffs site.
Its alot harder then that he will have nothing too do with the internet as he thinks its just full off lies and he makes it sound like the internet is out too get him im not sure how too explain it and if i did it will make him sound crazy . Is there away i could get help with helping him too confront his autism without him looking crazy?. And i do thank u again as it is hard too talk too family and friends about his conditions as im afraid of what they will think of me...
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