adhd/mood disorder

[mothaof3]

my 7 year old daughter is not bad jus refuses to do wat I ask when it comes to cleaning her room...always blaming her siblings...I've tried punishment I've tried taking her favorite things I've tried not letting her out til its done and nothing works help any other suggestions???

[Sandman2]

    Any special reason why you posted on the ADHD site instead of the child behavior site?

[allmymarbles]

I read through specialmom's reply, and the suggestion that works for me is to clean the room with your daughter. I would not reward her for doing what she should be doing in the first place. And I would have avoided the punishment by working with her to get the room clean and tidy. Although not always successful, my approach was, not to punish them for misbehaving, but to prevent them from misbehaving. I had fairly decent luck with this attitude.

Of my four children, one (the boy, strangely enough) kept his room clean and tidy. One of the girls was an absolute pig, and the other two fell somewhere in the middle. What I did find, however, was that they all liked their rooms to be sparkling clean, even though they did not want to  keep them that way themselves.  As an example, every couple of months I would give their playroom a good going over. Floor scrubbed, rug aired and beaten,  toys arranged and the dolls' clothing washed and ironed. While I would be doing all of this, the kiddies would be sitting in a row at the doorsill watching in wonder. When I finished they would tip toe in, not wanting to mess up their beautiful, bright room. (At least, at first.)

[specialmom]

Hm.  Well your title of this post doesn't jive with the idea of a child that only has an issue when it comes to cleaning their room.  LOL  I'd have had a disorder as a youth as well if that were the case.

Your daughter doesn't value the clean room as you do.  I also have a 7 year old and ya know . . . they don't see things the way we do.  They could care less about things on the floor or trash over flowing.  I kind of get it because of the age they are at.  As a parent though . . . we have our expectations.  so, I have some suggestions----  1.  work WITH her.  Even if you think you need to teach her and you aren't helping your other kids . .. this is a great way to work on something together.  You could rotate cleaning times with the different kids.  I have two boys 7 and 8 and I do this.  No big deal . . . toghether, it takes 45 minutes at the most to get their rooms cleaned.
Suggestion 2.  Well she doesn't value it---  what about saying "you can have your friend Mary over if your room is clean. Entice her.  
Suggestion 3.  Have rewards for doing it that she'll like.  She gets to pick out a movie for the family to watch or a game to play with you after she is done.  
Suggestion 4.  When she tells you something she wants-----  you say "oh, I have a great idea.  You can earn the money to get that!!"  Then give her an allowance that she can save and spend on that item.  

All kids are different and some are neat freaks, high energy kinds of kids and others aren't.  You have to work with what you got.  You can punish all day long but it puts a negative conotation to doing these chores.  Put on music, be happy, reward, help and work together-----  and she won't grow up hating and dreading the things she has to do.
good luck