My son is 6 yrs old and has always had a temper and I have always felt he was different to other children (since about 10 months old)
He has made no friends at school, he sometimes refuses to go! .... He said he is being bullied at school and we have been to discuss this, however it seems he just "feels" that he is being bullied - he blames everyone else for his own errors eg- if he falls off of his bike he will say "that was your fault" in an agressive manner - makes random noises while sitting watching TV or playing, is unable to grasp the rules of games, so disrupts the game or activity.
He purposly torments his sister and any other children that are playing nicely (by poking or ruining the game) and just recently he has started to swear (he is NEVER exposed to swear words at home) - he says things like "so, I will just smash the TV up then" .... "why should I do it you idiot" we have tried all sorts of consequences for unacceptable behaviour - Reward charts (he doesn't "get" the concept), Confiscation of toys (he says he doesn't care), Talking about why the behaviour was unacceptable (he will sit listening but when finished can not tell us what was wrong with his behaviour), he seems to understand at the time but will do the same thing again immediately - he just doesn't "get it"
He also stuggles with eye contact when in conversation - if we remind him to look at us while we are talking he flits his eyes for a second and then they stray again...he doesn't seem to get the concept of conversation, he interupts or he will talk over them. He can have his moments of being an angel but he seems to be struggling more lately as the swearing and aggressive way of talking is increasing.
This behaviour does seem to be worse when with me, I can't think why, he seems more defiant towards me ...with others he is still a torment to other children and struggles to join in activities but doesn't seem to be as openly rude! I hope somebody can help
I really think that this is more of a topic for the child behavior forum - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Child-Behavior/show/64 Do post this identical post over there. But let me give you some ideas I have learned from reading and posting over there.
In a nutshell, your attempts to change his behavior while using known techniques, just aren't being used in a manner that will help with tough cases. Essentially consequences have to be immediate, consistent, age appropriate, and last consistently for 3 weeks. I suggest you get the book, "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark. She will give you a system using timeouts that will help you. What she does is to explain how to use this system effectively so that it will work.
There are also several sets of books aimed at the 4 to 7 year old that are meant to be read aloud with them. That process alone does wonders. It seems that a lot of kids just don't know how to deal with anger. Thus, kids do need to be taught how to handle their anger. There are a couple sets of books aimed at this age group. One is, " How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger" (Laugh And Learn). That and several more are found here - http://www.amazon.com/Take-Grrrr-Anger-Laugh-Learn/dp/1575421178/ref=pd_sim_b_7
Another good set is the," Don't Rant and Rave on Wednesdays!" The Children's Anger-Control Book. That and others in the set are found here - http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Rant-Rave-Wednesdays-Anger-Control/dp/0933849540/ref=pd_sim_b_1
These things will help you get started, but do post over there. They will have a lot more good ideas. Best wishes!!
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