frustrated

I have been high strung every since i can remember when i was a kid my parents just said I was F--KED up I got into drugs and meth was my drug of choice I went into a drug rehap and people said when in came i was spun out and i never came down at six months clean i was almost arrested for under the influence the cops thought i was on speed i stayed clean 2 years since then from time to time do meth when i get so wound up I do not like that about myself I took many different biopolar meds they gave me to many side effects so just have been running around like a chicken with my head off a friend of  I recently met who works in mental health said she thought i was adhd i said the dr wont look at that option because I was a meth user. Anyways yesterday i was out with a friend and there was a bottle of aderal (Adderall) in the car I said can i try one of those he gave me one and 45 min later he says you have came down abou 4 notches i came home went to bed woke up about 6 hours later got on the internet and looked up that aderal (Adderall) and just as i thought it was an ampetamin  There has been times when i have been in public and i want to crawl in a whole because i am so hyper and i am grinding my teeth i just want to hide in my house. when i have talked to the dr in the past about this they think i just want to get high they dont realize i am allways on a high sometimes mu body is is so tired but my mind  keeps going i have allways had a real hard time staying focused.

[MysteryPrognosis]

Hey Barb check out my post... http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/767161?personal_page_id=348212

I definitely feel where you are coming from. As a child my parents refused to believe I could have an attention problem...this lead to a lot of anxiety and depression...which lead to misdiagnosis and incorrect medications...which lead to horrible side effects....which lead to more anxiety and depression....which lead to opiate abuse...which lead to drug abuse rehabilitation....where I finally met an amazing psychiatrist and psychologist who took a look at my past and determined that the lack of treatment for my ADHD caused most of the problems that followed.

No matter what you do, if you have RX abuse in your past, doctors are going to be hesitant to prescribe you anything.

I made it through my rehab from oxycontin abuse without ever slipping up, never missing an appointment, never failing a drug test, etc...and after I got off the opiates, I maintained a relationship with those that had helped me.

So when I was off the opiates, and my anxiety/depression/attention problems returned, they were willing to help me. I was able to convince them through therapy, as well as, my behavior that all I ever wanted was a solution to my problems. That my drug abuse was about self medication and doing the best I could to get by, rather than getting high.

It even took us a while to arrive at the ADHD diagnosis after I had completed the drug rehab. I tried a number of anti-anxiety and depression meds before we got to ADHD. It was actually my psychotherapist that brought ADHD to the forefront.

Like you I had used Adderall (adderrall) in the past. It got me through high school and college, but I never used it consistently or at a professionally determined dosage.

Eventually my psych and I tried Adderall (adderrall) XR 30mgs which my body could not handle. The highs and lows, the insomnia and loss of appetite, along with sexual side effects were not worth the positives of the RX.

Then we tried Vyvanse...which is similar to Adderall (adderrall) XR but basically less intense. We started low and worked up to a dose that worked well for me....60mgs...which is equal to about 20-25mgs of Adderall (adderrall) XR...no wonder I would feel awful when self medicating myself....I was taking more than twice that much.

At the correct dose, Vyvanse comes on very slowly, you barely notice it, it provides all the positives with regard to concentration and cognition, and non of the negatives I expereinced or you described.

If you really think that you are ADD or ADHD and you need treatment to help with it the you need to find a psychiatrist that is willing to work with you....and have a psychotherapist that you are talking to about the past negatives that you had to go through.

When I was in recovery treatment I had to sign a contract stating that I would not abuse or divert my medication... I had to sign the same contract with my doctor regarding the Vyvanse. I also voluntarily offered to submit to random drug tests, which my psych very much appreciated...he was going to asked, but was quite impressed when I offered right away.

If you want help, an accurate diagnosis, and a successful treatment plan you can have it. You just need to be willing to work for it. It took me a total of 15 years hiding my problems, misdiagnosis, anxiety, depression, and ultimately substance abuse to reach success. You can have it if you want it.


My biggest problem was my parents not wanting to admit their child needed help...which wore off on me. To this day, I don't like to admit that I need a medication to help with my attention, but I am learning to get over that issue.

Basically, good luck....and I hope you find a medical professional out there that will give you an honest chance to obtain the quality of life that you deserve.