how do you know?

How do you decide and or consider if your child should be tested for ADD-ADHD?
My son is 9 and we are having issues at school and home!
But his father doesn't want to have him tested! What should I do?

[slmarro]

please dont make the same mistake my husband and I made. Let me share something with you. When my son was in kindergarden, the school councelor suggested that my son be "further tested". I responded very ignorantly by telling them that they were crazy. He was detained in kindergarden. When he was in first grade, same thing. I told them that my son was just stubborn and needed to be punished. Then came second grade, same thing. Every day there was a comment on his performance in school and how he violated it to every extent. Once again it was easier to spank him than take reality. I then knew that something was wrong. After that I had to admit that something was wrong, and I agreed to have him tested. I made an appointment with the doctor, and ran different tests. To my surprise he tested positive for ADHD. Please understand there is nothing you could have done to prevent this. I still feel so guilty for so many reasons, and have begged for forgiveness and have spent many nights crying myself to sleep for being so ignorant. My son has a low IQ and is now in special ed classes. He should have gotten the right help a long time ago. Please dont let your ego and pride get the best of you. In the end, it is your child that suffers, not you. I hope this helps.

[nyychic]

If you have to ask than you may have to test is my theory.  If you are concerned than you should probly talk to your husband and explain that testing doesn't mean that he has to be medicated but that if your child had any other problem ie kidneys or liver you wouldn't not want to test him, ADHD is just as serious in a different way.  I mean if he's having a problem with his attention than you need to know in order to help him.  You don't have to medicate you can try to use other methods and see what's going to help.  Good luck!

[gia666]

hi hope i can help you can contact the school and speak to the school counsel and let them know you would like an IEP to evaluate your son. My husband just as your husband in the start i dont think it's so much that they are against the child being tested but as a man they dont want to accept the fact that their child might have a problem some man dont know how to handle certain situation they make it seem as if it is the end of the world especially a boy they feel that they are just being boys however they dont seem to realize that this behavior can progress even more and lets not forget what the child goes through at school from the teachers and kids. once an IEP has evaluated your child they will let you know what they find and advice you what to do they will hold  meeting and let you know their findings. they might advice you for your son to see a psychologist and then a psychiatrist so that if needed they will find the right medication to help your sons ADHD children cant talk and express how they feel at times as we as parents need to go out of our ways to make our children feel comfortable and accepted in our environment instead of being labeled a bad unruly child remember if they can control themselves they would and if they cant do it on their own it's because something is wrong so step it up no matter what your husband says and get your son the help he needs and it all starts with a phone call if your that concerned over what your husband has to say then wait till he goes to work one thing my husband will not stand in my way or tell me what i should do  when it comes to our kids getting them to feel better, and as a mother i'll be damned if he even tries telling me i don't want you to get our son tested yes they become upset learning that their kid might have a problem it's not the end of the world so do what you have to do for your son sake god bless you and i hope everything works out and it will tc