need alternative therapy for my 11 yo son

[cmoretta7]

This past school year, my 11 yr. old son has had problems with attention, blurting out answers, sitting still, talking, etc.  He makes straight A's so his teacher had him tested for GT classes - now he is in accelerated learning.  But his behavior is unchanged, now I have a conference with the teacher and the principal next week.  I know they will discuss putting my son on medication.  I am an ICU RN, very against putting any child on ADD/ADHD meds, and am looking for other alternatives.  Please help!

[Sandman2]

   first neither the teacher nor the parent can discuss putting your son on medication.  They can suggest testing to see if he has anything like ADHD, but thats it.  Even if the testing is done, and that is only if you ok it, only you can make a decision to put your son on meds - if the doctor recommends it.  So that is  not a concern.
  His behavior should concern you.  The first question in the meeting should be, was this a problem in earlier grades.  If it was not, then something like ADHD is probably not what is going on.  Rather boredom, or a strict teacher, could be.  There is I guess also the possibility that putting him in the advanced classes - which move at a faster pace (which would cause problems for an intelligent child with ADHD), have began to leave him behind and he is acting out.  How are his grades in the new class.  How much time does he take for his homework?  If everything is ok here, then its very possible that its not ADHD.  I also wonder at what they have done to discipline him?  Does he have a new teacher or an experienced one?
  Before you start looking at alternatives, you have to figure out what is going on.  By the way, you didn't mention what grade he is in.  The transition to middle school from being the top dog in elementary school can sometimes be difficult.
  Hope some of these questions help.  I would need a lot more info as this can go several ways.  But as I stressed, the first thing you have to figure out is what is going on.  Help cannot happen without an accurate diagnosis!  Write back if you have any questions.

[Sandman2]

Sorry, I meant neither the teacher nor the principal in the first line.

[cmoretta7]

Thanks for your input.  My son is in the 5th grade, and his behavior has always been essentially the same - talking, lots of energy, etc - just worse this year.  Impulsiveness, no self control, but never angry or hurtful.  He is in the last stage of testing for the EXCEL classes, but is begging to be in them because he is bored.  His homeroom teacher is experienced, gives him many chances, but is rather strict. My son is an overachiever and has said on occasion that "I can't do anything right".  He's a happy kid, but I think all the talk about his school behavior is weighing him down.

[dkpoto]

I came across an innovative alternative method for managing difficult children during a ghostwriting project. The Nurtured Heart Approach essentially is a concept that channels the negative energy (punishment, discipline) towards a child into energy that focuses on positive behavior. Google Nurther Heart Approach and/or Howard Glasser for more info. It takes more work than giving meds to a child, but I believe we have become complacent with easy solutions that do not address deeply involved problems.

http://www.adhd-information-exchange.com

[Sandman2]

The Nutured Heart Approach would certainly be worth trying.

I saw this post a while back and these books might be worth checking out.  I haven't read them yet, but I am certainly going to look into them.

"Dulcet1pms, Oct 07, 2009 03:33AM
Hi- I also have a son with ADhD and is Bi-polar as well.  THe one best thing I did for him was buy, read and implement the techniques in 2 books.  The first was, "How to reach and teach ADD ADhD kids."  The second was, "The ADD/ ADhD Answer
book."  Both of those books are filled with things that help our kind of children"

Of course, if your child doesn't have ADHD, then perhaps these would not be appropriate?  Actually, you haven't said if he has been tested.  You can't treat something till you have identified it.

My other thought is that while he is kind of hanging in there this year.  He is doing it with an experienced elementary school teacher.  Once he goes on to middle school and has to deal with multiple teachers and varied experience levels, things probably will get worse as far as school behavior goes.  Usually, if a child has ADHD, the parents will get a 504 plan done, or special ed placement achieved while in elementary school so that the transition to middle school can be done in the childs best interests.  I would certainly look into this.

By the way, how long does his homework take at night?  And how is his math going.  Usually in the middle of 5th grade, the children start into fractions and easy things like common denominators can really give them a problem if they have not been paying attention.

Finally, just in case he does have ADHD, you need to seriously do some reading up on it and how it can affect kids (and their parents).

[allmymarbles]

You already know that teachers are neither doctors nor psychologists. Their main interest appears to be in having an orderly class. I understand what you are going through and in this regard please read the last three comments under "Help for 7 yrs.old granddaughter," all entered today. There are two comments from me and one from "specialmom." We have both given this subject a lot of thought and I had a bright and lively child they wanted to drug. I told them to fly a kite. But please read the comments mentioned because they go into the subject more deeply.

[mutant_gene]

I am and adult with adhd.  Zinc and magnesium supplements would be beneficial for your son.  They work for me!  As to the dosages your son would need you would have to research.