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please help us...our 6 year old daughter has horrible tantrums -- hitti...
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please help us...our 6 year old daughter has horrible tantrums -- hitting, beating us, etc...

Hi,
I posted this in the behavior forum as well.  

We are at a loss.

First off let me say that our daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD/ODD  - sensory processing, anxiety and a possible mood disorder.  She is 6.
Neither her father or I have a mood disorder, bipolar, etc....  Her father does have ADHD and I do have anxiety-panic disorder.  So the adhd and anxiety are definitely in the family.

She is medicated with tenex to help the raging adhd issues.  Buspar for extreme anxiety.  A low dose of abilify (2.5 mg) for the extreme rages.

I was scared to give her one med.  Now, somehow we are on three.  They do help though and we hope to get rid of the abilify and maybe the buspar at some point.

She still throws several tantrums a day usually.

She has been seeing a therapist for a year and a half.    She has been to a developmental pediatrician who basically threw up her hands and sent us to a child psych who was hard to deal with because we could never get a hold of him so we moved to another dev ped who is a specialist in kids with issues.  He does not seem to "get it" about how severe this is.  She has had an EEG to see if it is some sort of seizure or something but nothing came up.
I want to video tape this but i am always so busy trying to protect myself and her from getting hurt while this is going on.
Tantrum is not really a good word to describe what happens.  She is so out of control that she is beating the crap out of me and her father and flailing her arms and legs and we have to just try to protect ourselves.  It is HORRIBLE>  She does not seem to be able to listen or stop - like she is possessed.  omg.  It is horrible.

It is ironic.  We are two peaceful people who NEVER spank, hit, etc....we are pretty mellow people and do not know where this anger comes from in this little girl.

So, we have just been thinking this is part of adhd.   Well, someone asked if she does it at school or not.  Well, not really.  She is only there for 3 hours in the am and then the after school care is to be 3 hours too..   But no hitting anyone and no anger stuff for the most part at either until we arrive then she is REALLY MAD like she HELD IT ALL IN AND HAS TO GET RID OF IT.  She was sent to the principles office for disobeying a teacher one time.  Yes, she is just in K and already went to the principles office but it was for crying, not hitting.   But, she saves the WORST for us.
She tells us that she has all of this anger and the only way to be rid of it out of her body is to hit and attack us!?!?!?!

She is also extremely intelligent, and VERY Creative and loves other kids.  She is often charming even.  She can be the funniest and sweetest girl...but the tantrums are unbelievable.  She almost levitates she is hitting, screaming, jumping, and attacking so hard.    We are SOOO GLAD she usually does not do it in front of other people and that she does not hit anyone but us.  OMG, SOOO THANKFUL FOR THAT!!!
I am SOOO AFRAID someone is going to hear her AMAZINGLY LOUD screaming and call the police.  It is like she is being murdered.  Sometimes she does this in the middle of the night when she wakes up and will not go bavk to sleep.  We finally got so fed up we told her that smoeone was going to misunderstand her screaming and beating us and call the police to investigate.  She still does not stop.  We take away toys, we try to do time outs but she is so big (4'1") and SOOO Strong that I can barely carry her to a time out.  She hits, scratches and beats me all of the way to her room and follows me right out.  I am afraid she is going to hurt herself and I am afraid to hold her in her room.   I am very afraid of hurting her while trying to hold her because she flails so much.
WHAT CAN WE DO?
I think we have tried it all!?  But maybe someone has some idea.  We have tried 123 magic, the explosive child, etc etc... we tried time outs, toy removal, positive behavior charts, ignoring her, walking away and turning our back to her, being tough....etc...   If anything ever works...it is ignoring her or toy removal but most of the time she is so out of control that she does not even hear the toy loss part or anything else.
People STARE.
She has one trick she pulls that specifically bothers us.  When we pick her up from school she starts throwing a tantrum in the hallway out to the car....long long hallway.  She sometimes HITS ME yelling that she wants a toy all of the way out the school halls...with other kids and parents watching.  IT IS SOOO HUMILIATING.  (she has never gotten a toy when she behaves like this, EVER)   Then she will stand screaming holding me hostage in the parking lot and WILL NOT GET INTO THE CAR.  IF i try to pick her up and put her in she starts hitting and screaming and yelling HELP.  Ok, people around us look like they think I am abducting her and it is soo awful.  Sometimes it takes 20-25 minutes to get her to the car and into it.  People do not understand.  It is soo horrible.  I feell sooooooooo sick for hours afterwards.  She does this to her dad too.
I personally have aged about 20 years in the past 6 years.  I cannot take much more of this.  Her father is getting REALLY DOWN and REALLY SCARED for her future.  She used to only beat me since i was the one with her the most often, but now she beats him too and he lets it get to him and it breaks his heart.  
I hvae never been hit by anyone in my life except my daughter!?!!!!
We are desperate.  
We are in Oregon....if anyone knows of any physician out here that can help us...please let us know.  
When she is not raging, she is a great kid and would never hurt us if that makes any sense.  She is loving with animals and with babies and can be trusted around them...just fyi
We love her and would do ANYTHING to help her that we can.
Thanks for listening if you made it this far.
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Also, before she has her tenex....she is VERY oppositional....won't do ANYTHING without a fight...get dressed, brush teeth, eat, nothing....
EVERYTHING is a fight.
After her tenex, she is better.
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thou you might want to read  this .


Benefits of Guanfacine (Tenex) for ADHD and Social Phobia

While stimulants are still considered the first line of ************** for ADHD, they increase levels of norepinephrine nonspecifically throughout the brain; in the prefrontal cortext, this may help reduce distractibility, but at the expense of undesirable side effects in other areas of the brain that may lead to nervousness, insomnia, decreased appetite, irritability, muscle twitches, stomach ache, or hypertension. Guanfacine (Tenex) therefore offers an alternative ************** for ADHD for the roughly 30% of children who cannot tolerate stimulants.




Possible Side Effects of BuSpar
BuSpar has been studied thoroughly in clinical trials.
In these studies, the side effects that occur in a group of people taking the drug are documented and are then compared to side effects that occur in another group of people not taking the medicine. This way, it is possible to see what side effects occur, how often they appear, and how they compare to the group not taking the medicine.

In these studies, the most common BuSpar side effects included:


    * Dizziness -- in up to 12 percent of people
    * Drowsiness -- up to 10 percent
    * Nausea -- up to 8 percent
    * Headaches -- up to 6 percent
    * Nervousness -- up to 5 percent.
      

Other common side effects, occurring in 1 to 4 percent of people taking BuSpar, included:


    * Lightheadedness
    * Excitability
    * Anger or hostility
    * Confusion
    * Blurred vision
    * Diarrhea
    * Muscle aches or pains
    * Unusual sensations, such as numbness, burning, or tingling
    * Coordination problems
    * Shakiness (tremor)
    * Weakness
    * Sweating or clamminess.
Guanfacine (Tenex) is also sometimes used in the treatment of tic disorders and social phobias, or social anxiety disorder.

I would try taken your child off these drugs slowly and see if it helps.the drugs that she is on can be what is making her act out the way she is and she cant help it.

try giving her Vitamin b6 and omega 3-6-9

the side effects to these drugs are not worth all they put children and adults threw.how would you feel if you where all drug-ed up every day?
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Avatar_f_tn
Are you getting any support. I saw your post on the other behavioral forum.  It's important for you to have support too.  Sometimes when your child is acting out, people back away.  I've felt like that from my child's old teacher.  She would say she was concerned, but I really did not feel she was.  Then people are always pushing medication like it's hte answer to every problem that ails us.  

But I understand you are in desperate straits and you have to do anything you can to help yourself and your child try to function .  Remember she may not have control of this and it's an illness, so try not to take it personally.  But it is EXTREMELY stressful.  

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UPDATE-------

It is officially dx as CHILDHOOD BIPOLAR and since we finally found a great doc, she is doing sooo much better with the correct meds.

Please, anyone else dealing with similar stuff....take your kid to a good child psych.  It can save their lives.

Childhood Bipolar has a higher mortality rate than some childhood cancers.  Therapy, and time outs and parenting books do not help.  It is a brain chemistry issue and these kids need help.
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Avatar_m_tn
  That is wonderful to hear!!  Thanks for the news.  Do you mind telling us which meds were able to help?   Also did you change any of the ways you disciplined her - or was there any particular method that you used which seemed more effective?
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Hi there,
no, we did not change any of our discipline.  It is just that she wanted to be a "good kid" but could not control herself.  She is a very sweet child, just could not help it.

The drug that helped her so much is Risperdone.

It is an amazing turn around!
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Hi!

I am happy you found something that works for your daughter! I, also, am in Oregon and have a 6 year old daughter with ADHD combined type.  Any chance I could find out the name of the Psychiatrist that has helped you so much?

Thanks!

-Amy
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