Aa
self-esteem/singled out
My 5yr. old kindergartner has a problem with impulsiveness & cannot keep his hands to himself; he always has to be touching other students which is distracting. The teacher put a separate desk/chair(that is wood desk/chair-the students all sit at a metal desk/charis) in the classroom just for him; hoping that separating him from other students would help his focus/attention. I am concerned about his self-esteem & hope he doesn't view himself as different from the other kids. I am waiting on an ADHD Testing appointment; but in the meantime feel that he is definitely being singled out in the classroom. I know he is not the only kid that has some of these issues that are being addressed(ie) lying to get what he wants-he knows what truth is; spending 10 minutes in bathroom, hugging too hard, not following directions immediately, flicking water in bathroom. I honestly sometimes get 4 emails a day about petty incidences and at which point I feel like the teacher is just harassing me because she had a bad day! He is extremely intelligent: academic testing scores 10 test all with perfect score with exception 1 test he got 10 out of 12 right. I have requested that his counselor who works on behavior therapy with him to observe my 5 yr. old in the classroom. He did tell me he would not be able to make suggestions so that the teacher change the way she is doing things withmy 5 yr old in the classroom. He is the counselor who knows certain things that do work well with him in order to redirect on a positive note. So what's the point! One other question-if he is diagnosed with ADHD will he still be in a regular classroom & receive special services or will he have to go to a Special ED Class setting? I honestly have reservations about letting the school know I am getting him tested for ADHD; although the teacher, vice-principal, school counselor, pediatrician have suggested that I get him tested.I am really not sure what course of action the school will take once he does have the diagnosis.I am considering Neuroherapy/ EEG Neurofeedback.I forgot to mention-I don't feel like he is getting an education in the classroom-3/4 of the work comes home in a folder for me to wok with him and teach him with notes, he couldn't focus, took 10 minutes to cut out 1 object, spent entire lesson time in bathroom which in the classroom-please work with him at home. It was made clear at the beginning of school they will never bring homework home in kindergarten.With that being said, they expect me to teach him the academics-what's the use in sending him to school everyday? This really has to be difficult on my 5 yr. old and not to mention stressful! I forgot to mention that I am the maternal grandmother who has legal custody and I do feel like they use that against his situation-let me assure you, I am not the average grandprent-I am very active with him, I am on top of it all and want to know all aspects of the equation from beginning to the end result! CPS told me that they never had anybody do what I did-I sued them for custody of my grandchildren in a higher court because my daughter refused any information about me they were legally tied to guidelines they had to follow set forth by the state, SO I TOOK IT TO A WHOLE NOTHA LEVEL!!!! Peop;e always say,"and your Mom right?"-"No, I'm Nana"
Okay, I googled SID and found a Sensory Processing Disorder Checklist. To my surprise he absolutely has the earmarks for Hyposensitivity in most of the aspects! I am awaiting a return phone call from the Pediatrician's Nurse to get the referral for an Occupational Therapist Evaluation. By the way, we did the Robot Arms yesterday-he laughed and mimicked me. I reminded him this morning as he was getting on the bus to go to school-about space & touching his friends: he just smiled as he stretched his arms in front of him!
Blessings-
Payton76244
Blessings-
Payton76244
COMMUNITY LEADER
As always, very good points by specialmom. I love the hula hoop idea! I was going to mention SI, but got wrapped up in the other points. I am glad she watches our posts.
Age wise, I assume you mean that he will turn 6 in March which is age appropriate for kindergarten. However, with all of those girls he will standout and, of course, find it harder to have some one to sit next too.
Age wise, I assume you mean that he will turn 6 in March which is age appropriate for kindergarten. However, with all of those girls he will standout and, of course, find it harder to have some one to sit next too.
Hi. Well--------- I'll do my usual thing here. I'll ask you to google sensory integration disorder and see what you think. It involves the nervous system and process just as ADHD does and is often confused as that. My son has sensory integration disorder-------- couldn't sit still, couldn't focus, bothered peers, etc. He was diagnosed at age 4 after much trouble in preschool. An occupational therapist diagnoses and then does therapy which looks like "play therapy". My son is a sensory seeker--------- he touches everything, plays intensely, likes to do things like climb something and jump off, likes to spin, etc.
We've had tremendous success with his occupational therapy and the things we do at home. He's now in 1st grade and doing really well. One thing that slows down an over active nervous system is what they call "heavy work". This includes something like doing the monkey bars, carrying some heavy books, pulling a wagon that is weighted, erasing a dry erase board, moving some desks and chairs around, doing crab walks, bear walks, etc. It involves things like swimming, playing at parks where a child runs, rolls down hills and runs back up them, climbing, running up a slide, jumping, etc. Soccer is good as is baseball. Karate is excellent. We do a lot of these types of things and it calms my son's "engine" as we call it. Then he can focus and pay attention in school.
You can ask your school about chair pads---------- these are inflatable things that allow him to wiggle. Some kids absolutely need this movement to pay attention. A fidget at his spot may help as well.
Peer problems at that age are problematic. Most kids at that age get along pretty well and when a child does not have social skills that come naturally, parents have to teach them. You can play a game to show him personal space boundaries. Get a hula hoop or pool round float and have him get in it. Then you try to get in it. He'll laugh and pull his head away from yours as you both don't fit. This shows that we can be too close to someone. Then have him stick his arms straight out and call them robot arms. Walk like robots for a bit. Then tell him he is to stay robot arms away from his friends. You can cut out lots of pictures of people's facial expressions from magazines and then have him identify what is going on. Have mad, have sad, have happy, etc. You can also act them out. He may not be picking up on the cues that the other kids are giving him that they are not wanting him so close or touching them. Talk to him lots about "being a good friend". Also, try to find someone in the class that you can have a one on one play date with. Meeting at a park is the easiest but if that isn't possible, do it at your home and you stay invovled with the play date. You guide him along and help him learn proper social interaction with other kids. Keep the play date short-------- 1.5 to 2 hours max.
Self esteem is really important to keep high. You are a great parent to be paying attention to that. My therapist has always said singling out isn't great to do. If a child needs something extra, you make it available to the whole class and it ends up that only the child needs it usually does it (like who wants a chair pad). Having all of the kids march to recess (gives sensory input-------- slapping of feet on floor) instead of just the one child who needs it. If a child is singled out, it should be done in a positive way. Self esteem can be established for a life time in these early years. You want to protect it.
Also, if he is too young, yes, I'd consider holding him back a year. Whew--------- hopefully I did not ramble too much! good luck google sensory!
We've had tremendous success with his occupational therapy and the things we do at home. He's now in 1st grade and doing really well. One thing that slows down an over active nervous system is what they call "heavy work". This includes something like doing the monkey bars, carrying some heavy books, pulling a wagon that is weighted, erasing a dry erase board, moving some desks and chairs around, doing crab walks, bear walks, etc. It involves things like swimming, playing at parks where a child runs, rolls down hills and runs back up them, climbing, running up a slide, jumping, etc. Soccer is good as is baseball. Karate is excellent. We do a lot of these types of things and it calms my son's "engine" as we call it. Then he can focus and pay attention in school.
You can ask your school about chair pads---------- these are inflatable things that allow him to wiggle. Some kids absolutely need this movement to pay attention. A fidget at his spot may help as well.
Peer problems at that age are problematic. Most kids at that age get along pretty well and when a child does not have social skills that come naturally, parents have to teach them. You can play a game to show him personal space boundaries. Get a hula hoop or pool round float and have him get in it. Then you try to get in it. He'll laugh and pull his head away from yours as you both don't fit. This shows that we can be too close to someone. Then have him stick his arms straight out and call them robot arms. Walk like robots for a bit. Then tell him he is to stay robot arms away from his friends. You can cut out lots of pictures of people's facial expressions from magazines and then have him identify what is going on. Have mad, have sad, have happy, etc. You can also act them out. He may not be picking up on the cues that the other kids are giving him that they are not wanting him so close or touching them. Talk to him lots about "being a good friend". Also, try to find someone in the class that you can have a one on one play date with. Meeting at a park is the easiest but if that isn't possible, do it at your home and you stay invovled with the play date. You guide him along and help him learn proper social interaction with other kids. Keep the play date short-------- 1.5 to 2 hours max.
Self esteem is really important to keep high. You are a great parent to be paying attention to that. My therapist has always said singling out isn't great to do. If a child needs something extra, you make it available to the whole class and it ends up that only the child needs it usually does it (like who wants a chair pad). Having all of the kids march to recess (gives sensory input-------- slapping of feet on floor) instead of just the one child who needs it. If a child is singled out, it should be done in a positive way. Self esteem can be established for a life time in these early years. You want to protect it.
Also, if he is too young, yes, I'd consider holding him back a year. Whew--------- hopefully I did not ramble too much! good luck google sensory!
Sandman-
Thank you so very much for all the resources you provide me with-I am truly appreciative! I am going to pick up the book today especially since I do have a lot of questions about the special ed thing. Also,I am gong to confirm with the intake personnel that I am requesting a psychiatrist for the testing. His birthday is in March, most of the kids have already turned 6 & there is a larger ratio of girls in his class.
God Bless and Thanks!
Thank you so very much for all the resources you provide me with-I am truly appreciative! I am going to pick up the book today especially since I do have a lot of questions about the special ed thing. Also,I am gong to confirm with the intake personnel that I am requesting a psychiatrist for the testing. His birthday is in March, most of the kids have already turned 6 & there is a larger ratio of girls in his class.
God Bless and Thanks!
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I really like your idea of trying the Neurofeedback/EEG biofeedback/ neurotherapy for your grandchild. But do be aware that you will not get overnight results. Until then, there are a lot of things that both you and the school can do for him. I highly recommend that you get the book I suggested, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.
A few other things. The homework is not really homework. It is work that he didn't finish in class. Its pretty much standard practice to do that. It also serves as a means of parent communication. I would imagine that you find it kind of frustrating to work with him. Basically, don't try to do it all at once. The book i mentioned will give you several good ideas on how to work with him. Another reason to get the book is that it is pretty good at telling you how the whole special ed thing works with schools. There is a good chance that he won't get a special ed diagnosis, but will get a 504. Either way, it will give the teacher certain guidelines that she must follow.
And yes, if he is sitting in a separate desk that is not good for one's self esteem, but a lot of that depends on how the teacher handles it. I would suggest trying to reinforce at home the not touching things. One thing you haven't mentioned is when his birthday is. It sounds like he would have problems no matter how young he is, but if his birthday is after Sept. - it adds an additional handicap for him.
The 4 emails a day is not unusual behavior for a teacher. Granted I never did that, but most of my parents couldn't understand the morse code I sent via the telegraph lines. :)
You didn't mention who is doing the testing. I think that I would recommend a psychiatrist. Mainly because you also want to rule out any issues that might have be related to any medications your daughter might have been on (sorry).
Finally, you have got a big plate in front of you. You seem to be very good at getting information. The more you learn about ADHD from reliable sources - the more you will be equipped to help him, and thus yourself. Best wishes.