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whats wrong with my 3 year old son
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whats wrong with my 3 year old son

my son is going to be 3 in july, he has over the past year developed some behaviors that concern me! He was a bright boy who was ahead with his milestones in his development, now however he seems to be falling behind, especially with speech, however he has been having hearing tests that show he has fluid in his ears.

He has become aggressive towards everyone especially in and mood/tantrum. he will scream for half an hour and if he sees something that reminds him why he was in a mood in the first place he becomes angry again and scream, hit, pull, push everything basically. He becomes so angry over the the smallest things, but my two year old isnt like this and hes just so naughty all the time and thinks its halarious when he gets told off and if hes been told to do something he doesnt want to do, then thats it.

There are other things like he wont eat properly, but theses are off the top of my head, he isnt hyperactive so to speak, but he sometimes just wants to sit there and watch tv all day, which worries me for his age! I know some people are going to say this is normal, but its all ways extreme behaviour and his moods and tantrums run our house, its really getting me down and i dont know how much longer i can cope, people dont want to have there children around my son and say things about his behaviour and it really upsets me, i just want him to get along and enjoy his life, but nothing i do seems to change his distructive behavour, i am a teen parent, but i am a good mother and have a very supported family, can anyone please just try and give me some answers, im at my witts end!
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1104172_tn?1312175007
Hey Katie sorry your having such a rough time with your son. I was too a teen mom but I didn't face some of the difficulties you are. A lot of times not only can a child become this way from being uneasy with mental/physical health wise but if the environment your living in is an unstable one. Are you and the father still together? Sorry if thats a lil too personal but its things like this that will affect a young child's life enough to make them act out in ways that they don't even fully understand why. Have you had him tested for any mental disorders? I know you said he has some speech problems due to fluid in his ears but could that be cause by a bigger problem like neurologically? What I did when my oldest was that age; because he was a premie we didn't know what kind of developmental issues he would have; I would write down the event and date of what occurred because when its time to see their doctor soo many things that can be forgotten. I hope your pediatrician can give you a lot of the answers you seek and hopefully I was a lil help as well ;)) if you like keep me updated on what's happening and if you have any more questions feel free to write to me. I have two boys (7&3) and am expecting my third with my new fiance.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Hi,  my son has sensory integration disorder which is an issue with the nervous system.  It can affect kids in different ways.  Speech and tripping were the first things a preschool teacher spotted in my son at age 3.  This was probably due to motor planning issues in the brain.  Sensory involves how the brain organizes information from outside of itself and then communicates what the body should do.  So for speech------  two areas can be affected.  If someone asks you a question------  you have to organize what they said to understand it and then organize your response.  The second part is the actual speaking----- the articulation.  The oral motor muscles must get correct messages to make the sounds.  Fluid behind the ear would not help and you do of course hear of speech issues with hearing loss.  (best to get that resolved).


Another aspect of sensory integration disorder is what they call regulation or modulation.  If a child gets upset--------  it can happen easily and seemingly for no reason at all.  And once upset-------  it is like a storm.  They have a terrible time calming down after an over the top response.  Sensory kids find self soothing very difficult.

Food issues could be due to motor planning again as it takes a lot or oral motor coordination to chew-------  so kids will avoid things that are difficult.  They may also gag a lot.  Another food issue with sensory is something called tactile defensiveness.  This is when a child has an issue to different textures.  They'll completely avoid certain things or spit it out if it bothers them.  (tags that bug you in shirts is another example of tactile defensiveness).

My son is a sensory seeker which means he is on the go looking for sensory input.  He bangs into things, is too rough with toys, wrestles, etc.  The opposite of my son in the sensory world is the child that needs to be woken up.  They are docile, sit for periods, at times kind of limp noodle.  The idea of sensory is to either slow a sensory seeker down or speed up a sensory avoider (the ones who need to wake up the system.).

Sensory encompasses many things.   It is diagnosed by an occupational therapist and occupational therapy is done for it.  This is like play therapy and kids love it.  It addresses the nervous system and behavior with behavioral strategies.  My son was diagnosed at 4 and has received occupational therapy since that time.  He is now 6 and doing fantastic!  He too met every developmental milestone early or on time and is very smart.  But he still has this issue.  We couldn't be happier with his progress.  I'm always happy to share things a family can do that are sensory related and may help with it.  We've done OT for a long time and I have about a million suggestions at this point.  So google it and see what you think.  Good luck!
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Avatar_f_tn
hi thanks for your help, it is really what i need right now, in fact he just had a screaming fit because he wasnt allowed to hang out a window...heres a little background info to save confusion,

Me and his dad split when he was 8 weeks, but now i have a new partner, who i have two younger daughters with, however he gets most of my attention because of his naughtyness, hence why i thought adhd because its for the attention!

Come to think of it now, he is quite clumsy, but i put that down to his age as his sister is a little clumsy, however she is 1 year younger...i have spoken to my health visitor and doctor but they refuse to do anything because its 'to early to diagnose'. But its making my life so hard, i love him, but i dont love the behaviour.

i just think i need to reconise what is wrong with him and press on at the doctor to do something
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973741_tn?1342346373
Well, for the heck of it---------  I will give you some ideas of activities to do with your son that help sensory integration disorder.  They wouldn't hurt a child in any way and might help with behavior issues and speech.

Have him drink thick liquids through a straw such as a thick smoothie, milkshake or applesauce.  He can blow bubbles (good for oral motor exercise as well as calming to the nervous system) or blow a cotton ball across the table with a straw cut in half.  Have a race doing that with him.  He can lick a lollypop using his tongue.  Have him make lots of silly faces and freeze them.  Run his tongue all the way around his mouth and teeth or just go side to side to start.  Talk slowly and clearly and have him look at you.  Read to him a ton so he hears words a lot.  Have him chew a thick piece of bubble gum (started at 3.5 with my boy)-----  we still do that before school every day as it is calming and organizing.  

Physical play and what they call 'heavy work'  is key to helping the sensory system.  A trip to the park is full of things for a sensory kid.  Climbing, running, rolling down hills, jumping, swinging, hanging from monkeybars, etc. are all excellent.  Fill a laundry basket with things to make it heavy and have him push it around.  Make a mound of pillows from the couch and elsewhere and have him crawl through it and gently press on it.  Hide things in it for him to find.  Animal walks including crab, bear, snake, hop frog are great.  Tug of war is good.

I have some ways to help with meltdowns that I will right in a moment.  I'm off to the bus stop to get my boy------  so I can write some more later if you are interested.

PS:  some of this stuff has an after affect that can last!
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Avatar_f_tn
those are some really good ideas, he is very strong aswell, i try to do these things like that with him, but he makes it such hard work sometimes i dont bother, i know i may sound lazy, but when he is constantly screaming at me, its emotionly draining.

I could really do with the advice on the melt downs, because at least if i knew how to deal with those a bit better i may be able to do more things, which would in turn make his behaviour better.

So is this sensory disorder also a sort of behaviour problem?
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Avatar_f_tn
PLEASE HELP ME! My son sounds alot like yours, He is 2 right now, turns 3 in Dec, we are going in circles with OT, they are not specialized in this area and we are on 3 waiting lists to see the specialists,not knowing what he will be diagnosed with?! I am at my wits end, he wakes up to uncontrollable screaming! He takes a long time to settle down, he loves to cuddle, squeezing hard, he always just wants to eat grapes or noodles, anything else is a fight. He also goes up and down on whether he has an apetite at all. He is very skinny, unsteady on his feet, very careful down stairs on his hands and knees, does finger twisting, repetitive movements, rubs things, pulls at his mouth, screams arched back painfully for no reason, very irritable, gets mad easily, is very engaged in tv... I could go on and on, just wondering if I am heading in the right direction?  -Lisa
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow! That describes my son to a T.....did your son have bowel issues? My son is a good boy loves to read and play but if you dont put something on or replay it he gets really mad. He is very agressive. He shys away from other kids I mean literaly will hide from them. He isnt hyper just certain things set him off.  He is getting ready to go to Daycare because he needs some socialization and get over his fear of others so hopefully it will help.
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Avatar_f_tn
My son is 3 in a half not even n I went threw terrible tamtrums he grew out of it at 3 tho. He had the hard time eating as well. But now he is very very hyper. Never wants to leave my side. I can never go pee wit out him. I've been with a new guy for almost two years have a 3 month old daughter. He talks back thinks he knows it all crys all the time watches cartoons all day won't leave the room with out me n did I mention he crys all the time. Help me please doctors said he's to young but something is going on n I don't know what to do anymore. My fiance is ready to leave me over it its hurts but that's how bad it is what do I do to make him better
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Avatar_f_tn
My son is 3 in a half not even n I went threw terrible tamtrums he grew out of it at 3 tho. He had the hard time eating as well. But now he is very very hyper. Never wants to leave my side. I can never go pee wit out him. I've been with a new guy for almost two years have a 3 month old daughter. He talks back thinks he knows it all crys all the time watches cartoons all day won't leave the room with out me n did I mention he crys all the time. Help me please doctors said he's to young but something is going on n I don't know what to do anymore. My fiance is ready to leave me over it its hurts but that's how bad it is what do I do to make him better
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Avatar_m_tn
     I think that it is not so much that your son is hyper (compared to other descriptions I have seen on this forum), as he is competing for attention.  Got a feeling the new baby is a part of the reason why and possibly even the fiance.   I get this feeling from things I have read over on the child behavior forum.  I would suggest that you post over there.  They have a lot of good ideas, and have seen these problems before.  Do start a new link. I think you can almost duplicate this post.  Call it something like, " very attached, crying 3year old - don't know what to do."  Post it here - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Child-Behavior/show/64
     I think this will help.  Best wishes!!
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