I'm with you...loneliness is a motivation killer. Pain is also a frequent trigger.
Update on triggers. Number one it's got to be LONELINESS!
Mainly boredom, anxiety, stress and fatigue. Fatigue is a bigger one lately.
You know me way too well !!!
My biggest trigger is being anywhere in proximity of pills.I admire the willpower of those who have other family members under the same roof who are prescribed the pills and they're ok with that,they can handle that.Since I have been clean I have had family members who for one reason or another have had to be on pain meds for a short period of time.The pills,no matter whos they are,are always put in the lock box,and I have no access to them,and for the first day or 2 I'm fine....BUT usually by day 3 I swear I can hear them calling to me through that box.The fact that this happens scares the sh!t out of me.I always think what if....My husband has a plate and screws in his ankle and now suffers from arthritis there so WHAT IF sometime in the future he is prescribed them on a more permanent basis....I can't expect him to suffer because I'm an addict...I really have to work on that.I have to be able to cope,pills under the same roof or not.I have to work on being stronger about that.
Biggest trigger right now: being in the house alone with my 99 yr old demented immobile father and it is dark and raining in the afternoon and I am trapped and bored and depressed. It's like the first scene of a horror movie. This was using time. It made a bad situation tolerable. Now, 54 days clean, I am in a hell-state in the afternoon. He also has a drawer full of narcotics and I can almost smell them but have done nothing to secure them or get them away from me.
Second biggest trigger: any painful feeling feels like a tidal wave engulfing me and using made it seem manageable. Dulled me out.
I always think about the song from The Eagles "Already Gone"...in one of their lines it says 'so often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we hold the key". Such a huge statement filled with truth for us addicts.
The 1st time I heard about triggers was on here and man did I wish to have known it before. For me triggers are boredom, crowd, some members of my family, loud unexpected noise, some places stress and anxiety.
I was not aware before that it made me feel very uncomfortable, I had kinda forgotten about my inside feelings, they were very scary to me and I preferred not to deal with them, I was an ostrich with my head in the sand... The problem is that you can't keep on doing that, at one point your body reacts in very weird ways, psycho-somatically. It took me years to realize that I was making myself sick, well my head was, in a subconscious way. And when that happened I just wanted to numb myself, forget again and again.
Triggers are a big problem for me it was dealing with problems with my mariagge .I would use pills to numb pain . When we had money problems took the pills to numb it out .Mental pain was a big part of my using .
You did great narla and congrats on those 70 days clean. I can socialize with those that have a few drinks too, but there are times it's not easy. I have NO chance of socializing with those that use cocaine, i know i would relapse. Weird but just seeing it makes me feel high?
You have all of us here for support also and soon you will be at triple digits, woo hoo. We are proud of you:)
I went to a club the other day for a buffet meal with my daughter with the meal you got free beer or wine as you walked in they put a glass of wine in my hand,I have to admit at first holding that wine I felt paralysed,then I pulled myself together handed the wine back and just said I'd prefer orange juice please,I have to admit I was pretty proud of myself.It made me feel strong.So to answer your question my triggers would be the places i used to go and drink.I'm worried about Christmas because I know most of the people there will be drinking,But I want to be able to socialise with people that can have a drink but are not alcoholics.My husband for instance might have 1 or 2 drinks with dinner maybe once a week It's not fair for him to have to stop because I have a problem.
Hi MP.
Let me see, I used to say that alcohol was my biggest trigger, but the fact is, alcohol is a drug too, so that is not a trigger, that is using, lol. Stress and being around others that use are probably my biggest triggers. If i were to just see my DOC, it would set something off in my head and i would begin obsessing and craving almost certainly ugggg.
My other triggers include being happy, being sad, being excited, being bored and just breathing sometimes, lol. Good question, although we can never get rid of all triggers, by getting rid of some it makes this fight a bit easier:)