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I am really scared...

Hello,

It all started out in August when I had an eye exam and I found that I had some distortion in my right eye. I freaked thinking it was macular degeneration, but had retina scans and everything and I was fine.

So, I go home and for the next few days I was doing research and I found that it can be caused by ocular neuritis which is a common sign of MS. I tried to think positively as I was in a car accident in 2004 and had suffered damage to my vestibular nerve on the right side which causes me to get dizzy for months at a time, so figured that maybe it happened then instead (as it is hard to detect without just looking through my right eye to read (which I never do and I had noticed bleariness at a few doctor's visits but assumed that it was because I had just been covering that eye first).

But of course, being anxious, I had noticed that I was weak in the legs (a little before actually, but I had also been spending a lot of time on the computer with legs curled up under me for days on end). But the weakness became really bad, but when I exercised it went away, or reduced greatly. Then I thought back to two incidences where I had tried to grab something and had difficulty, one was when I was in a major rush and took a few times to take a receipt from someone, and then one was when I couldn't get the corner of a paper towel. My typing had also been a little off but I am a random typer and I was really dizzy at the time and this is one of the usual symptoms especially as I felt that I had been overdoing it doing some contract computer design on the side.

When I thought of these I was convinced that I had MS, but then something worse happened, I started worrying about ALS (MND). Since then I started noticing every little thing my hands were doing, and how they looked. My hands seem like they are weaker and pcking up small objects is takes more concentration. I have twitches everywhere, and they have concentrated in my hands and arms. Sometimes my left arm will twitch outwards when I am typing.  My legs feel either weak or stiff when I walk and I have cramps in my calves. I am now convinced that I have ALS.  I also think that I am talking 'lazily', but when I try to talk clearer I can.  Also, when I started to concentrate on my swallowing it seems awkward, although I don't notice when I am not thinking about it.  Also, I am not sure how much weakness would be there if I had that many fascics.  My thumb and forefinger grip seems weak, but I picked up a gallon jug of water today by pinching the handle with just those fingers.

I went to my GP and he said that he did not want to examine me as he did not have any knowledge of the disease and wants me to go to a neurologist.  I want to go to a general neurologist but I am so scared.  Just to note that this disease is one that I have always feared.

I am so scared. At this point I don't know how it could be anything else. I am at the point that if they told me I have MS I would be happy!  Which sounds really selfish.

Can anxiety do all this? Could the initial symptoms that I remembered afterwards be just coincidences as it seems strange that I worry about a disease first before showing most of the symptoms (the others were not bothering me until after I first started worrying. I would not have been worrying at all if it had not been for the sight issue and that isn't even a symptom. Would that be too much of a coincidence?

I don't even see a future for me anymore. I am terrified and crying a lot.

I am 37, female.  I have also been getting electrical buzzes in my fingers and waking up in the night with my last three fingers of each hand numb.  Sometimes I get a little numbness near my wrists and pain in my fingers but not THAT much.

Please help!!!!

Rachel

P.S.  I admire all of you that are suffering from ALS and by no means mean any insult bu being so scared.
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Avatar universal
I had my EMG and an NCV done.  The worked on my right leg and right hand (which on average have bothered me a little more), and the doctor also did a few muscles in my right thigh.  

Both tests were completely clean and he said that there was no reason to continue.  I asked if it was possible that the tests were done too early and he said no.  He also said that as my clinical exam was completely normal that he was totally comfortable giving me a clean bill of health in terms of a serious neurological disorder.

I also mentioned that with having speech problems I was worried that the tests would not have checked for that so he also did an EMG test in my tongue which was also clean.

He is an MND specialist and said that he has diagnosed people with ALS and other MNDs and was sure that I didn't have either and that I should now go home and relax and enjoy Christmas.  

I still have the weak stiff feeling in my right hand right now, but maybe now that I can relax and get my anxiety under control it will decrease.  And maybe my speech will get better too...  

Thanks for all the replies and support from everyone.

Rachel
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Avatar universal
P.S He did not even mention me having blood tests or anything.  I just hope that i didn't sell him on the anxiety thing too early...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi,

I went to a neurologist today.  I am not sure if I went too fast with my explanation of everything that has been happening to me, and told him that symptoms came on as my anxiety and such got worse so I think that I missed vital points that my hands feel weak (maybe more shaky) as I use the computer and when using smaller objects like tweezers.  However he knows about the twitches and I mentioned me having difficulty speaking.  

He specialises in neuropathies and motor neurone diseases so he is familiar with these.

Any way, he gave me a full neurological exam (although it seemed very quick and he moved from one hand to another extremely quickly), but he said that everything was normal, including my reflexes and a negative Babinski.  He told me straight out that he doubted very much that I had anything serious but to be able to convince me (and to make sure), I am having EMG testing done on Thursday.

I asked him if he expected it to show anything and he said no.  He is also going to be there in the lab during the testing so that he can tell me right away.

I am a little worried that if I had Bulbar onset, and maybe my other symptoms are benign then the EMG would be negative anyway.  Okay so maybe now I am pushing the variables a little but.  I am still very nervous just because his checking of my strength seemed so quick, but he is also an older doctor and very experienced so perhaps that is why he could do it quick and still expect to be able to detect something if it was there.  He even told me that he has seen people with ALS and he does not think that I have it.

It may seem silly, but do you think that I should be so nervous about Thursday?

I would appreciate any input.

Thanks so much.
Helpful - 0
696755 tn?1236016312
I know its hard not to, but try not to think about the worst things. I am trying to find a diagnosis as well. Both MS and ALS are very serious diseases, and I agree that they are a possibility, but there are soo many other diseases and conditions that cause these symptoms.

I also have that same problem with speaking and swallowing. It is so vague that most doctors that I see don't really notice it because they don't know how I would normally speak. I have short term memory problems as well, I had to read your post about 3 times just to be able write this. I am seeing a neurologist next Thursday. I would reccomend for you to also see a neurologist. An MRI can detect MS. But if I were you I wouldn't want to have MS, as it can progress and get really bad, but I see what you are saying as MS very rarely causes death, ALS does, not to worry you.

Again I would definitely see a neurologist and I hope that you can cross those two diseases off the list. Feel better and good luck!
Helpful - 0
470885 tn?1326329037
Hi!

First of all, I'm really sorry that you're going through such a rough time.  I, too, have had severe anxiety about ALS. Mine started because I was working in a job where I needed to read up on all sorts of medical stats - once I read up on ALS and knew what it was, I began having symptoms.  It all started with a "weird" feeling in my left leg....which quickly moved to my right leg as well.  I felt as though I was getting tired more quickly and easily when walking.  I was obsessive about checking myself out for additional symptoms: was I having trouble swallowing?  Did I sound funny when I talked?  Was I twitching?  One day, my left arm had all of these vibrations in it and then got heavy and numb - a panic attack, but I didn't know it, the first time it happened.  I went to emerg, thinking I was having a heart attack or stroke, waited there for 6 hours - only to be told that they couldn't determine that anything was wrong with me, my symptoms were too "vague".

I was so worked up about having ALS (incidentally, I worried first about MS but the fear developed into one of ALS from there) that I was barely eating and sleeping, I would wake up in a full blown panic attack. It really made it difficult to work or function as a wife and mom.   The only thing that truly brought me any joy during this time was my little boy (he's 2) - and even then, I was really too depressed to fully involve myself in life.

My GP was amazing, though....Did general bloodwork to rule out a physical problem and prescribed antidepressants. Not that this would have "caught" ALS, but, amazingly, the more that I had my problems investigated and felt as though I was "doing" something, the better I started to feel.  I've also been in therapy since July, working through my problems.

So you see......anxiety really can cause all sorts of physical symptoms and that certainty that something is wrong.  I'd urge you to have yourself checked out because it is the only way to be able to move on in the end if you've gotten yourself so worked up and convinced that something is terribly wrong.

I wish you the very best and hope that you'll find some peace soon in all of this! :-)
Helpful - 0
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