" she can't go no where " LADIES input

[luckymommy13]

Alot of bd's think cause you're pregnant they can treat you any kind of way. I actually heard dudes including my bd say " she can't go no where she got my baby she gotta deal with me for life ". It's very stupid and young minded. You think cause somebody pregnant they gotta deal with you lol. Ladies what's your thoughts??

[BluCrystal]

Agreed.

[specialmom]

Oh, yes.  That is very different.  You are certainly not his property and you don't have to have anything personally to do with him.  Honestly, he sounds the type to not want to pay child support and be involved in the child's life much so I wonder if he will be a short term issue for you.  I AM torn about rights of a father when they are a jerk to the mom.  That's a hard one for me.  

But in terms of your future romantic life, friends, etc. . . .  you are your own person quite separate from him.  :>)

[luckymommy13]

I'm talking about simply talking to them. Feeling like you have to stick around and put up with whatever they throw your way. I'm not talking about rights. Feeling like you can't talk to other ppl because you have a baby with them. Feeling like you are they property.

[BluCrystal]

Hi, Lucky.  My take on it is coming from experience.  I had four children by three fathers.  All of them are grown now, but the truth is that the father continues to retain rights concerning the child until that child turns 18.  The only exception to that is if he were to legally sign over all parental rights to the child.  I agree with Mom, above, on this as well.

[specialmom]

Hi there lucky.  Well it depends.  If you are sued for custody legally, there can be a court mandate that you can't move out of state depending on laws where you live.  Believe it or not, that happens.  But he'd have to sue you for custody and put that in there.  

Ugh, it's so hard because in truth, every child wants both parents.  Even if they aren't together anymore, a child will want to know who their dad is/was (was is if he chooses to have no contact with the child which is very sad).  As a mother to a child, your goal would be to put your child in the best position to have a relationship with their birth father and to encourage it.  And coparenting is what the goal usually is when a couple has a baby whether they stay as a couple or not.  Which means they have to form a polite, neutral, team like relationship for the sake of the child.

Now, if there is abuse---  I think that rights are lost to a child and I would put the child's safety first.  I'd document the abuse and fight any custody if they pursued that.   If they didn't pursue it, I wouldn't be pushing for them to see their baby.  I'd walk away and hope they left me alone to raise my child.  but I'd also know that this will eventually come back to bite me when my kid begins asking who their father is (and they all do).  

so, I don't really agree with what your baby daddy said and really don't agree with the way he said it but under normal circumstances, a child does tie two people together in some way for life.  

You're young and may slip away from this bad dude you've been with and I doubt he'll really do much for or with your child.  But . . .  I just think that in general, kids should have two parents.  UNLESS one of them is abusive, and then all bets are off.  good luck sweetie