Hi, I'm Sam, I'm fifteen years old.
This will probably be quiet long.
Ever since me and my siblings were young we were "homeschooled". We didn't have the proper books, we didn't know anything. We grew up knowing nothing.
My brother, 8 years old. Didn't know how to read even "gunk".
My mom would scream at him "why don't you know anything?! You're not two years old!' and would call him all these words for "stupid" "dumb" idiot" and he would cry. We grew up this way, not knowing anything. We were stupid when it came to education. We just recently started to go to school. We're doing better now. Although, it's too late for my three older siblings. They never got that, they had no school. My dad abused us as we were young, my brothers have missing teeth, hair was ripped out of their skulls and still hasn't grown back.
My parents divorced because my mom could have died because of him.
Now, my dad blames us and constantly tortures us with questioning us, screaming at us and telling us he hates us how much we probably like my moms "******" boyfriend so much more than him until my little sister cries and pees herself, literally. He will scream at us and verbally abuse us.
My mom, for years has verbally and physically abused me. I had a sprained wrist, and she once pushed me down the stairs. She will constantly call me a *****, tell me to **** myself, say i'm disgusting, say I'm fat, say i'm satan. She will call me a demon, say I don't belong in her house. I'm transgender, FTM. Ever since I came out, she's been calling me a demon and or satan. will slap me multiple times if I don't do as I'm told, I once passed out because she hit my head so hard with a remote. She doesn't do this to my younger siblings.
I've tried to kill myself multiple times. This year, three attempts.
Things are slowly getting better, she isn't hurting me as much anymore.
I just wanted to let these things out.
Also, I don't want to call CPS so please don't suggest it, I would rather not. My younger siblings need a mother. Next year, I'll be sent away in Japan for a year and once I come back, I'm moving out. So it's really no use to do anything like that and ruin my younger siblings.
Hi sam ,sam I am ......I am so sorry this has happened to you and your siblings ..First I want to tell you that you write very well and your explanation of your life was very touching.Its a good thing that you are doing some traveling in the near future and its good to focus on that when things get tough at home .Have you talked to anyone about this ? My concern would be how the younger children will cope when you are not around , its possible you could call CPS when you have left .Have you other family maybe..grandparents to talk to? You need help sam ..so do your siblings children dont deserve this treatment.. thank you for telling us your story,it sounds as if you are a pawn between your two parents .this is sad I do think you need some help ...
You say your younger siblings need a mother. But a crazed, abusive mother is not a mother.
Is there no relative you can turn to? I know that the Children's Protective Service is not perfect, but it really doesn't sound like it could possibly be worse than the kids being subjected to emotional torture and cruelty. Would your older siblings be willing to back up what you describe?
Hello Sam, I'm trully sorry to hear what you and your brothers have been put thru. I too come form a disfuctuanal family. My father was a drunk and would hit my mom. I've always been the protector. I have two sisters and I tryed to keep them in the dark of what was going on between my dad and mom. My mom would beat me as a child and do very bad things to me because of what my dad was doing to her. I'm now 41 yrs old and I wonder why I have been an addict to pain medication all these years. I have to say that even thoug that my parents put me thru this and I did miss allot as a kid growing up I love my parents and I've forgiven them. They have changed and addmitted to their wrong doing. But I lost allot of my young years growing up to fast. Never been able to play sports go to sleap overs or just be a kid. I had to be the grown up for my sisters. But they think that they had no influence in their lifes. I love my sisters, their my world. One suffers from being over weight, we all have suffer from it and the other suffers from depression so life hasnt been good to us but as much as it hurts and as much anger that you carry NO ****** pill or any other drug will ever help, I know it numbs the pain but you will suffer much more from the results of addiction. I hope to seek help and dont let your brothers suffer any more. I know its hard that people dont see that your screaming for help and none can hear you. My prayers are with you...... I've learned thru the years that my parents didnt have a better upbringing than I did, so how can I blame them if they didnt know any better. Learn from your life and get treatment because what your going thru, allot of people have gone and are going thru it. Sam I thank you for sharing with us, 15 and we think we have it rought. At 41 it still hurts and it breaks my heart but I've forgiven my parents and I love them. I hug and kiss them everytime I see them and I let them know that I love them.
Hey Sam, I'm new to this I just joined today. I myself am a Transgender Ftm. I'm very lucky to have the surport of my mom and most of my family so I've never had to put up with much abuse. I grew up watching my father breat my stepmom, but he never laid his hands on me. I also grew up watching my brother sisters and dad use and abuse drugs. I'm only 17 so I'm not but two years older then you, but when I look back at 15 I see that I have came a long way within the past two years! I was so depressed about being so different from everyone else in school I thought about killing myself plenty of times I also quit school but finally got the strength to go back and I graduated last year! As for your home life I'm very sorry. I think you should look into calling someone to help you and your family out. I know its scary telling the truth about hurtful and painful things that go on in your life,but there is nothing wrong with asking for help! I'm here to tell you Sam that things will get better I know they will trust me and hang in there man!
I am happy that you are going abroad to study. I think this is a great thing for you. You will learn so much and come back so much more confident! I am a little concerned. You say your mother doesn't treat your younger siblings in this way (thank gosh!) but the boyfriend does? Must be pretty bad for your younger sister to "pee" herself. I realize your siblings need a mother but if that is truly a good situation. If your mother allows the boyfriend to do this to your siblings, is she not chosing the boyfriend over her children? What will happen when you are not there? I am NOT saying change your plans because your siblings need you to go and become something great! They will need you I suspect and you to be the role model for them. What do you think?
oh, no actually. my bio dad is the one who does that.
actually, things have been getting a little better since her boyfriend moved in with us.
things are becoming more calm, and i've been able to relax more.
Sam.... My heart brakes hearing this. I am deeply sorry!! I was molested and drug raped as a child and teen my parents did nothing.I found freedom when I went to a 12 step Recovery program at church. I found Gods love and not the Abusive God that I thought he was. I can't imagine the pain you face. It's not your fault! You are very precious and valuable!! I will be praying for you!! I believe it is important to turn yourself into CPS so that they can find you a better home. I know it's scary but their are many loving families that want children out there. If you are able I strongly recommend you join a church that has a RECOVERY program. This helped me so much in working through painful memories and so much more... You are loved by God and even though you may not feel so I believe you will find HIM. Find a trusting Teacher or friend to talk to or a counselor they will help you!! God Bless you! May all your wounds and tears be heard from heaven and may his angels come rescue you for you are a child of God.
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