I'm in an abusive relationship and I don't know how to leave, last night he hit me again and choked me because I tried to walk out of the door. I have been pregnant by him 4 times all ending in miscarriage due to fighting and stress. I don't know what to do its like I don't even know myself anymore.
oh brother , well for a start you find somewhere to go have you any family may help, you wait till hes not there and you leave ,taking your possessions, if he causes trouble you report him and take out an order on him to leave you alone .Just imagine how any children would be in that kind of relationship ?
Gather up your important papers, pack a few changes of clothes (keep it light) and leave. Walk out the door.
If you have a car (in your name) take it and pack it with as much of your stuff as you can when he's gone, if you don't-- leave it. If you're worried about a place to live or money because he controls those things, there are agencies (everywhere) that are more than happy to help you get all the necessities covered while you look for a job and a permanent place to live.
Get a protection order (or a restraining order), depending on the state you live in it could be granted to you on the very day you apply. My state will allow you to arrange with the police or sheriffs office for a uniformed officer to go back to get your stuff.
This man will not change for you or a baby, unless he hit's his bottom and chooses to. Right now, you need to leave the moment he is gone. You may want to call the police when he's hitting you if you can sneak away and do so. There are many shelters that will help you to get on your feet, and the longer you leave it, the worse it's going to get. There's no easy answer to come back from an abusive relationship, other than knowing there are many other women (and men) who have gone what your're going through. Some will make it out, and find a good man (or partner) and some will stay and destroy their lives for no good reason. Where do you want to be in five years, or in one year? Don't let this man destroy your self worth and your future. It's very sad to be at the end of your life and realize that you threw away the best years of your life. Please allow the system to help you get free of this animal. Go on and raise a family with a family man, i did. If i did than you can. I could probably swap some pretty terrible stories, but i''d rather talk about how wonderful it is to live with the man i'm with now. He is so sweet and is my very best friend. We laugh together often, we communicate, constantly.I met him 14 years ago when my son was about 10. He's been the very best step father to him. So fair and loving and kind. He has provided for me by making sure i'm on his survivor's insurance at work. He cooks for me and washes my hair for me as a treat. He's wonderful with the animals that we have , and walks our dog twice a day, on long long walks. I never have to worry about his mood. He lives life on life's terms. This is what i hope you will want, a normal life for yourself. You're worth it my dear. Make sure you don't miss out on any more of the good things in life. Keep it simply, move out and move on. Try a shelter for a start if you need to. I've been there, they're alright! You can do this~~
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