Am I in a domestic violence relationship?

[Vanitylee]

This is my first pregnancy and 19 years old my child father is 36...he is very controlling and demanding
The other day we got in to a really bad fight I broke his razor he got really mad so I gave him a dollar for it and apologize...but he kept going we was arguing all night to the point where I just gave up and layed in the bed with him I layed my head on his chest and went to sleep the next morning he woke up and said I'm going to my mom house I said ok and called my mom to come get me...then all hell broke loose we started arguing again I pushed him and you said Where hand at and try to suffocate me so I kicked him in the face then he go stop hitting me u no I got a temper I said **** u and your temper I was mad he try to suffocate me then he punched me in my head twice kicked me in my butt and said he hope I have a miscarriage he don't want this baby anymore this wasn't our first fight and won't be our last they always happen like this and he always make me feel like it's my fault

[kswetland]

sounds like you did start the fight.

[Nighthawk61]

Thanks for the reply. Sorry it took so long to get back to you. Hope you are well. Listen girl, it is far more important that you are in a loving, caring environment for yourself, and this baby. You need to stay with your mom, where you are , or move with her to Atlanta if that is what she is going to do. Moving could be the best new start for you and the baby. Getting away where you can't make a mistake and go back to this brute could be the safest and smartest thing you could ever do in your life, right now.

It doesn't sound like this man wants a child, the way he treated you and the baby so far. Let him go. It might be too bad that you allowed him to impregnate you.and you might have to look at that, in order to get a grasp on the reality of the situation. That doesn't have to mean that this baby is unwanted because it was unplanned. You can make things right for this baby now, IF YOU MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES GOING FORWARD. Stay away from any relationships right now until you know that you can make the right decisions. Figure out a game plan, and write down the traits that you want in a male or you will use the same judgement that you did with the baby father. You don't want to do that again. Plus your mother has enough to worry about with you and the baby. You can't do that to the baby, or to your mother. They deserve to have you fully present and accounted for. As I said, the best thing you could do, is to pick out a college course, and do your best and get great marks, Plan for the future that you didn't plan for when you got pregnant. Make up for making the wrong choices before the baby was conceived. You need to change your karma to one of accountability respect and honor , for you and the child. If you need to talk, i'm here anytime . :) I was a single mother for awhile, and I know how hard it can be. Liz

[Vanitylee]

Thanks so much and u rite I need to do what best for me and my little one...I'm trying so hard to move on with my life my mom is talking about moving to Atlanta but I don't no if I should go or not...I don't think that will be fair to him if I just pack up and move and take our child with me but I do no if I stay it will only get worst because I no I'm by myself and I don't have no one I'm so confused I just wanna do what's right for my baby

[Nighthawk61]

Yes, I found this post hard to follow, but if you did hit your partner first, then he will say he was defending himself, yada yada yada

The first sentence was enough though, to determine whether this is a relationship that is worthy of your time,, but MOST IMPORTANTLY
worthy in the life of the child you are carrying.......

A woman might take abuse themselves, and give it, partaking in fisticuffs with their partner and call it a life. A GOOD MOTHER NEVER WOULD.

You have to ask yourself now, Are you going to be a good mother or a bad one.?

Since you are 19, and pregnant, I assume you haven't taken a College course yet. I think that it's really important that you do talk to a Career Counselor at the bets local college, and find out what types of training might suit you. You need to make sure that all this child's needs are met. You may end up thanking this n'er do well for setting you on the path to your best self (without him in it) one day , soon.~~

There's a possibility that you get a student loan to pay for schooling and living expenses. It might be a way of getting on with your life. In the interim, or meantime, you can finish off your GED, if you haven't received it thus far. Onward and Upward young lady. Congratulations on your first. Do the best you can for this child, and you will do right by yourself by doing so. I'm here if you ever want to talk.

Liz,

[RockRose]

I'm not sure I'd report it,  especially if you give them this post.

You started the physical violence,  and there are several sentences where it's impossible to tell what's going on.

The two of you need counseling,  and I think it would probably be for the best if you didn't get back together.  

[thatquietgirl]

Yes, that is domestic violence.  Please report it to the police so there is a record.  It doesn't get better.