Can he change?

[Nicole092907]

My ex boyfriend who I have two kids with is finally seeking help and has checked himself into a place to get help for his anger.  I dont know if this is an attempt to show me that he wants to get help and that he's going to change.  I have not talked to him in over 8 months and I currently have a restraining order against him.  So I guess where I'm getting at is do you think he can change?  It was never over small things that he hit me for it was him thinking I was cheating on him that got him so obsessed he would just lose control.  I want to believe he can change by getting counseling and help.  I want to be able to trust him and be able to talk to him conserning our kids.  I just want to know if since he already hit me before would he do it again after getting counseling for it?? Or will it not matter and that since he's already hit me he will do it again.

[jo929]

A person that just gets angry at things can be helped. but is he an abuser? has he hit you many times, how many times have you been scared, that he will do it again, and what makes you think, that he may change,It really depends what you think, but also think of the children, should they go through this, I have known many womeb that were beaten,many many times, and they were so scared, that they feared for their life, so it really depends, i guess on just how bad he was, i personally would not trust a man that hit me once, I do hope you make the right decision  good luck  jo

[treazzure007]

Keep that restraining order by all means.  Keep your distance too.  

Yes, it's possible for people to change, however, I just think there is also a such thing as people burning their bridges.  If he does change, he should be man enough and intelligent enough to accept that he ended some close relationships and ties with his troubled time.  YOU SHOULD MOVE ON and put him and all of that in the past.  Simplify your life and probably add a whole lot of years to it in the process.