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Cant tell anyone else
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Cant tell anyone else

I dont dare tell anyone else about these current events. My boyfriend has a bipolar issues and has depression, although his depression seemed to have cleared up since we been together. Its been a whole year...our puppy stage lasted months and all that, but the last weekend he did something in the store that makes me afraid of him.
He got grouchy and wanted something that i didnt want off the shelf i told him "well...pick whatever, i have to go and get the rest of the stuff" i didnt sound bitchy at all, just irritated cuz he was being so crabby with me.
As i walked away he grabbed my arm and spun me around and demanded i tell him what my problem was...i was shocked, he never does that unless i'm really mad, and i wasnt mad at all so i told him "If you are gonna be crabby, i'm going to get crabby...just pick what you want so we can go home."
And for almost an hour he kept stopping me every second to ask me again and again what my deal was. Most people would have just dropped it and been like "Okay, if you say so." but he kept going on and on. When i didnt answer him he would slap my leg or my arm, not hard at first but he hit harder and harder every time. Finally i couldnt take it, cuz he did it infront of a group of people and it was embarrassing and degrading.
"STOP HITTING ME" i yelled it. He gave me the dirtiest look i ever saw and grabbed my arm and told me "Not until you tell me what your ******* problem is."
He's never done this before...especially over something this little. I mean yeah, when im upset he'd nag me until i told him what was wrong but seriously...who argues over a box of damn shake'n'bake. So i just shook my head and said "Nothing is wrong. So just stop. I was totally fine until you started hitting me. I want to get out of here and go home and make dinner and watch a movie." After i said that he continued to slap me! back handing my arm and leg and asking me what my problem was, OVER AND OVER AGAIN....like a broken record. Finally i broke down crying, thinking in my head "oh my god, is this the first sign of abuse? or is he losing his mind now?" and i cried harder when he just took a step back and asked me if i was really going to cry in the store and asked why i was crying. I told him "I'm pregnant, stressed out and you are hitting me, and i can see now that you are going to hurt me." He said "So...i dont care."
After a while of that, we left the store and once outside i had an anxiety attack, which caused him to snap out of it. He said he was really sorry and rubbed my back and my stomach.
I dont know what the hell happened...was that abuse? Is it the beginnings of abuse? I'm scared he'll keep doing that crap, cuz lately he gets pissed off at me. I really dont know wether or not to raise a kid with him...but i cant leave him...i dont know what happened to him, he was so loving but this incident has shadowed my look of him now.
3 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
Is he under the care of a therapist and psychiatrist?  If not, it sounds like he would do well to be under their care for regular appointments.  Sometimes when someone's depressed or manic, the person can be irritable, but that's no excuse.  Everyone has to learn their signs and symptoms to get help before it gets to a point where you're mistreating a loved one or whatever your symptoms lead to.  Therapy is the best place to do this.

Until he gets help, I'd go find somewhere else to stay for your sake and the baby's.  It may be an episode.  It may just be him.  But he needs to realize you're not going to tolerate him not seeking treatment and hitting you.  What if he does that to your child?

Another question: Why can't you leave him?  That's not the greatest mentality to have.  I'm not saying you have to or you should.  That's your choice (Though if this ever happens again or he fails to seek treatment or a therapist/psych's advice on this incident, I'd strongly suggest it for both your and your unborn child's sake.), but you should never be so dependent on someone that you're stuck with them.
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13167_tn?1327197724
I agree with thatquietgirl,  and wonder what you mean by he has "bipolar issues".

Does that mean he's been diagnosed with bipolar disorder?  Is he on medication to control the symptoms,  if he's been diagnosed?

I don't think it's really all that helpful to decide how to define this behavior,  whether it's abuse or not.  

This sounds pretty classic bipolar to me,  and if you are in a relationship with a man who has bipolar disorder,  these are the kind of episodes you will face from time to time.  

It's up to you to decide whether you want a life like that.
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757137_tn?1347200053
You don't say why you "can't tell anyone else."
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