Does anyone have DID after the abuse?

[lifewanderer]

Hi. I have been writing on the schizophrenic board for about two weeks and realized I probably should be on this board.

I was sexually abused most of my earlier life and as a result developed Dissociative Identity Disorder. Rather than lose time (which I used to do) I hear and see my alters. I always have since around age five. I see them as solid as the people on the outside and interact with them as just like others in this world. I have learned over the years to ignore the ones that I know are not real in my everyday life. I am a professional, so sometimes it can get pretty difficult ignoring an angry teenager or crying child next to me. In therapy I am learning to "get along" with the alters that I see.

I was wondering if there was anyone else with DID and if they also see their alters. I would love to talk with you.

Thanks,

lifewanderer

[AnnaE]

Thank you for your posts here. Please let us know more about your progress, and your challenges. We care about this. Also, I believe that your experiences are in some way valuable to the struggle of memory and feeling challenges challenges that most survivors face.

[AnnaE]

Thank you for your posts here. Please let us know more about your progress, and your challenges. We care about this. Also, I believe that your experiences are in some way valuable.

[Travo]

I hope my comments are not too intruding, but I am a therapist and have been very interested in DID over the last few years.  I believe you are a very courageous soul to be working through these issues.  I have and am presently seeing a few clients with DID and have seen some successes in treatment.  My training in working with DID has been through a technique called Theophostic Prayer.  But don't assume through the name that its just prayer.  I have seen it to be a way to help the alters and host to work together to eventually face and work through the traumas.  I don't consider myself an expert but my experiences working with the disorder tell me that anything (seeing alters, etc.) is possible.
Also, I know that many therapists who are familiar with Theophostic are not equipted to work with it.  You can access the website about it, but there won't be much if any info on DID, but there are several practitioners who could help you if you decide on that route.

Best of luck!

[margypops]

You are right and sometimes nothing gets answered  whilst on this site we are always around for each other, that is  the differance I guess, also  the Professionals are probably very busy.I see the ADD forum has added a doctor and some a post there said about time the other people got off their soap box and left it to the Professionals, instead of would be Doctors.That suprised me as I thought that is what MedHelp was all about.

[lifewanderer]

You know I really don't believe that ask a doctor forum works. No matter what time day or night I go to it, it's reached it's limit. I guess I won't be asking any doctors a question on here. Oh well. They probably wouldn't have known the answer anyway.

[lifewanderer]

I used to switch a lot (yes, like in the movies) but now that I have gotten to know the other parts and can tolerate being in the same room with them, I don't lose time as much. I can also see what they're doing sometimes if their in the host for the moment (most of the time). I really want to not see them or hear them or lose time to them. My therapist says I have to let them get close to me for that to happen and feel their feelings. It's so terrifying, but I see her point. The feelings are so overwhelming. I'm a counselor also so it makes it very hard to concentrate and feel these feelings at the same time. I guess I have to get used to it in order to make it work. Thanks for listening.

[AnnaE]

Have you looked at the books the three faces of eve and sybil, with a grain of salt, of course? Have you ever done a review of the psychiatric literature? Literature in psychology? I did one, and it was very helpful. I think that you are right on target with the work on feelings.

[lifewanderer]

Hi margypops, RockRose, and AnnaE. Thanks for talking to me. AnnaE, yes, working on the abuse plays a bit part in the integration of my parts. They held the strong feelings of terror, lonliness, hurt, etc. As I get closer to them, I also feel what they feel (I have to go slow though or I get overwhelmed). I'm actually having to work through family therapy with the parts as we have been together so long that we have interactive relationships. The main thing is to stop blaming each other and start being considerate. I've not found anyone who sees their alters like me and it would really help for some advice. A doctor in the trauma field told me seeing alters is not common, but it does happen. It's caused by wanting to push the parts as far away as possible, thus pushing away the feelings. I guess I just need to keep working on feeling and allowing the people I see (alters) to get closer to me. At least when I cooperate with the alters, they tend to stay away from my work and do not fight so much.

Anyway, thanks for listening. Anna, I'm sorry you had an abusive experience. Sometimes dissociating is helpful, but sometimes it becomes a problem. I'm trying to cope in other ways than running away into my head. It's scary, but dissociating isn't the best for me now.

[AnnaE]

Does working on the abuse ever help? Sorry, but I have no experience with DID. I feel as if I am not conscious of part of my life, because I had to dissociate to escape the experience of some of the abuse. Under extremely painful circumstances, as when I was abused by a doctor, I can dissociate as an adult.

Wish I knew more about your circumstances. I will ask some professionals.

Best,
Anna

[RockRose]

lifewanderer,  I hope you get feedback too.    Really, such a fascinating topic.

I have only known one person with Dissociative Disorder - what it used to be called - and she perceived her personalities as 4 people competing for her body - for her "voice".  She could call some of them up and liked them,  and she'd basically "step aside" or submit to their presence so they could inhabit her for a time,  and one other she hated and he was always trying to come forward and she had to suppress him.

Interestingly,  she did know what they all looked like, so it may be that she was seeing them.  I sort of perceived she didn't see them - she wouldn't have conversations with them or address them outside her body.  

I think with one of her personalities,  she was unaware of what that one did.  She didn't recall conversations or actions when that one "took over".

I hope you get other responses from people who are experiencing what you are.

[margypops]

I am sure someone will be onto this to give you some feedback, great that therapy is working for you , I have no experience here but others will have Good Luck