Groping on playground

[judykar]

I just learned that  a 9 year old "friend" of my son's is grabbing my son's crotch when they wait in line to go back to class after recess.  (why isn't anyone watching???)   My son is 8 but in the same class.  My son says, "stop!" but the kid doesn't and continues to do this on a nearly daily basis for the last several weeks.  I want to tell the teacher/school but my husband is concerned that my son won't be believed and that the kid could say the same thing back about my son.  I don't want to traumatize my son anymore than he has been.  We have been role playing what to do with this kid and to keep far away from him.  Please provide some advice.  I'm really concerned and want this kid to stop this and leave my son alone.

[allmymarbles]

When my grandson first went away to camp this is the advice I gave him: "If someone touches you in a place meant for underwear, tell him to stop. If he doesn't, punch his lights out." You are being too sensitive and, in effect, are giving this other kid permission to molest your son.

[jo929]

i agree with allmymarbles  then if teacher steps in have your son tell the truth.  luck  jo

[margypops]

Yes me too, this grabbing happens a lot so if the kid wont stop, its tantamount to bullying ..tell your son to shove him away or speak to the teacher and say he doesnt like it...

[guessagain]

I agree with all, but I believe we are living in a period of zero tolerance in many areas, in this case the victim could end up as the accused. At one time I would have been one of the first to suggest it be handled in an expedient matter, such as decking the the little brat. However, this is an abuse forum where more times than not, people arguably detest violence when they are the victims in any way, verbal, or physical. Sorry, can't have it both ways. At this age I might even suggest this little creep is a victim of there own upbringing. I think I would discuss it with the teacher and ask her to pay more attention to what is going on. If she does nothing, go up the ladder.  

[Sarah1013]

I would take a chance and tell the teacher. This can't keep happening. A lot of people dont think its sexual abuse when its another kid but it is and it should be taken very seriously. If the teacher doesnt give you the time of day go to the principal.

[allmymarbles]

There is a place for courage in this world. We are told to give in to a rapist to save our lives. Turn over the money to a mugger. What happened to dignity? I say "stand up," "yell," "fight." But, then, I am not a coward, and I teach my family not to be.

[doctora]

First off definately tell the school, it can be kept in confidence, but if this little boy is doing to this to your son, most likely he is being abused himself, and doesnt realize that it is unacceptable, the school must look into this.

Dont let it just go. I was first raped when I was 7 yrs old. I told my parents, and nothing was done because they didnt want me to have to face our neighbour (who did it), and they felt it would affect the respect our family had in the community, which made me feel like it was my fault.

Before my mother passed away, this was the only thing she regreted, and that was not telling the authorities, and how it ended up affecting me mentally.

Dont do that to your son, its a heavy burden to carry.

BTW last time I heard, my abuser is a school teacher - now that is scarey!

[guessagain]

Oh how I would have loved to have you as a judge when courage left me sitting in a cell eating dignity pie. It was the strangest thing, some guy pinching and grabbing my girlfriend's butt, after he had been warned, fell down and broke a couple of fingers.

I didn't say I agreed with zero tolerance, but that's what it has come to.
The kids are young and maybe some shoving would fly. I'm sure the teacher has rules to adhere to and has no choice in the matter. I feel the worse part is that a child in the right could end up getting emotionally burned at both ends.