How do you move on?

I have been abused in everyway possible. When I was around 8 my babysillers. would gab a feel, my dad's friends' would gab a feel. See I started to develop early. By the time I was old enough to babysit I was well used, so I thought but I still had more to learn. I don't remember having my first period, but I remember my first time. I was force to have sex on my way home from babysitting.
I have been married for 22 years. With him for 26 years and 25 of them where abusive. I meet him when I was all of 15 I new everything. I knew we would marry and live happily everafter. What a joke.Know matter what I did it was never good enough. I have now been seperated for a year and I still feel for him. How do I forget? How do I move on? How do I stop hurting? How do I live one more day?

[RockRose]

Your post is a little confusing.  Did you have several  male babysitters,  or are you saying several teenage girl babysitters would molest you?  

[margypops]

You simply endure and fill your life with positive happenings and  friends and although you wont forget what happened to you if you can accept that it did happen and  be determined not to let it affect the rest of your life. Sometimes it is our thoughts that give us the worst problem if you can switch off when a negative thought comes into your head you will fel better, give the thought 2 minutes then tell your self, thats it I have obsessed I wont go back there again today.You can do that it can become a habit and switching off gets easier if you practise it.A lot of successful and happy people have had to live wuth what you are going through its not easy .The partner you had for those years needs to be put out of your mind also, give him a minute or two then let go.

[momagain59]

One day at a time unless you can't handle that then, just shorten your time increments. Try to turn negative situations into good. You can share your experiences with others so they can learn. You are a survivor. You still have alot of healing that needs to happen and it will take time. I know there are so many sick people in the world that want to hurt children, you have to turn them over to God. He will take care of them. Their time will come, we do not have to get even. Once I accepted this, it made my life alot easier. Hang in there.

[mbbr43]

Sorry my post was confusing, they were male babysitters. Also when I was old enough to babysit the male parent of the kids I babysat would sexaul abuse me. I was to afraid to tell anyone because I thought that I must have deserved it some how. When I finaly told someone they acted like it wasn't important.He was also a family member threw marriage, I think that I have handle it the best that I could have at the time. What I have a hard time with is the fact that my ex was best friend with him even though he new about the abuse. He kept tell me that I should be over it by now because it happened aIong time ago. I have only recently come to understand how bad my abuse was with my ex. I am working really hard to move forward and not look back, but some days are still very hard. I am getting counselling and going to group meeting and it helps, but it's when I am alone that the demons come back.

[RockRose]

mbbr - are you physically fit?  Do you work out regularly?  

If not,  I would think getting physically strong and feeling powerful might be a good way to begin to feel in control.

Best wishes.  This is hard.

[AnnaE]

Take care of yourself overall--nutritious diet, exercise, good sleep, nurturing activities (haircut, pedicure, skin cream), medical checkups including eyes, and continue with group, and counseling. Stay away from negative or morbid people. Get in touch with love. Through a kitty, a child, a good book, a kind gesture to others. Know that you can smile again and make yourself and others happy.

[AnnaE]

As with any learning activity, Consider establishing goals for your recovery, for your personal well-being, and for your life.