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How do you stay safe from a crackhead?
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How do you stay safe from a crackhead?

I finally had enough and left my crackhead.  I took the pets with me.  I did not get caught moving out.  When he discovered we were gone, the phone messages were awful.  How could someone I love talk to me like that?  Anyway, changed my phone number.  Now he is combing the streets of our town trying to find me and I am terrified.  I am sure its more about the pets than me, since that would be the way to hurt me most.  The police say it is a civil matter but I went to the court today to try to get a restraining order since I no longer know what he is capable of.  I should hear on that this afternoon.  I had to admit on the form that drugs are his problem and now I am even more scared than before.  How do you stay safe from a crackhead?
Nancy
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38 Comments
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338939_tn?1291346760
I was once a crackhead myself and so was my ex-boyfriend. Sounds like you're doing things the smart way. Manipulation is a key player in his arsenal of tools. No matter what he says, dont believe him. We as addicts have a tendency to say whatever we need to get what we want. I do mean whatever. Keep everything that he does documented, phone calls, messages, write it down like you would in a diary. Always leave a paper trail. Its proof. If anything comes of his searching such as physical violence it makes it easier to have him picked up by the police. Stay low key, go out with another friend if you have too. I know it sounds scary but he's only as good as his next rock. I dont know what else to tell you except goodluck. You're in my prayers.

Peace n Love,

Carrie
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942290_tn?1252622149
sounds like you should get a pump shot gun or .45 auto, or what ever !

take a gun saftey course, and put a copy on the front door.  

I use to live in a rough city, when I bought my first house. I use to put targets in the windows by the doors, of my pistol targets...............all in the black at 50 feet they would say  :]

never had any problems !!
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535822_tn?1389452880
I agree with the above post , 2nd amendment ...the right to bear arms.....get that restraining order, be alert, dont answer the door till you know who it is, pester the police if you see him around your house ,with the order in place they can arrest him, Good Luck you are doing well, stay positive ,all will be well. Let us know how you are doing.
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535822_tn?1389452880
Sorry I may have my amendments mixed I will take another look
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535822_tn?1389452880
No I didnt my DH was wrong the 2nd is the right to bear arms, I am glad I refreshed myself on the constitution.
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Avatar_f_tn
the idea of documented evudence is good tape all calls, i hope you told the olice he is threatenimg you, make sure you are always with someone when you go out, play safe  luck  jo
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Avatar_f_tn
Have yourself weapons placed out of sight around your house, that you only know about and can get to should he discover your whereabouts and break in.  That means carrying a weapon on you, where you can use it immediately if attacked when you are out.  I don't know for sure what the mental and physical faculties are while on crack, but I believe they feel no pain and have super-human strength.  Not even Mace affects them, or a stun-gun.

I suggest you also get a large dog, if you don't have one already.  Barking, tail wagging or not, can tell you a lot about who is outside your door or home.  Learn and listen to those varying barks, and watch if the dog's back hair stand up.  Become very familiar with all this dog's idiosynchrosies so you both can communicate well with each other.  Also listen very carefully to your gut instincts.  If something doesn't feel right, it's not.  Always be prepared.

When I have felt the need, and cannot "babysit" my whole house, I have bobby-trapped it throughout, so every window can't open without breakage (sound), and then jars stragtigically placed where an invader would trip over them.  (sound).  Have locks installed on every door.  And deadbolts as well on outside doors. Keep drapes closed at night and indoor sounds low.
I even have bells placed inside on outside doors, just in case that door opens. not by me.(sound)

I have our emergency number on my cell phone as #1 speed dial.  All you have to do is hit 1.  And it may also give your name and address.  Keep it open and in contact with emergency should anything suspicious happen and he could be there.  They can listen to everything and have it recorded, and summon police there immediately.

Keep your porch light on at night so you can see through a peephole, and the window who is actually there.  If you are not sure if they are who they say they are, don't open the door.  Call that person personally and ask them where they are at.  If you still aren't sure, call the police.  Better safe than sorry.

I know a cop who owns a huge dog that is the sweetest animal on earth.  But the dog also "guards" his master's territory with the most ferocious bark.  Mailmen, metermen, UPS, salespeople just turnaround and get away from the house when they hear this dog barking and jumping at the blinds.  He sounds like he would be delighted to take off their heads.  To those he knows, he is an absolute pussycat.  They live is a big city, where there has been plenty of crime on the streets, and even a meth lab nearby.  But his home remained free of any bad actors, mainly because of the dog.

Keep your cell phone on you at all times, or charging on your nightstand where you sleep and still use it.  Travel about in numbers.  Carry a flashlight on you especially when you are outside.  If he is stalking you, you can see where the noise is coming from.  Have your weapon and cell ready always.

If you can get a license to carry a gun, and you take lessons in using it properly, that would be comforting.  A bullet may be all that stops a crackhead.  Just a few ideas I threw out.  Keep in touch.  Oh have a recording of any messages he leaves by phone, or text, or email, or letters.  I hope you have not had trouble getting the PFA.

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Avatar_m_tn
my brother is a crack head......He has stolen from everyone he knows.........employers........me.....my parents....my grandmother.....but, my entire family is in denial......They enable him....I have a PPO order against him.........He does not know where I live.......He recently slashed my tires on my car.......while under the PPO order...so I moved.....He is pathethic.....no teeth......stinks.....lies............I worry that he will hurt my parents...as they put a roof over his head....He is 42 years old.....Has 4 children....he abandoned...........The court did not make him pay child support because he has a problem....blah blah blah....if you are on Crack.......or you know someone who is......GET away....STAY away....protect yourself at all cost from them..........you give a crack head an inch and they will take a mile..............
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757137_tn?1347200053
You are a woman and your enemy is a man. The problem with guns, or knives, is that a strong man can take it from you and kill you with it. So you need something that does not look like a weapon. Always wear a garment with a pocket. Fill that pocket with black pepper. If you are attacked it would not be hard to grab the pepper and rub it in his eyes. That would stop a rhinoceros, with no danger to you. I came up with this protection when I was in danger from someone who made homicidal threats and was demented enough to carry them out.

A spray can is not a good substitute. It is recognizable as a weapon.
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82861_tn?1333457511
Pepper spray (or any other weapon for that matter) is great as long as you always carry it in your hand.  Not always possible.  

For self defense at home, you can't beat a shotgun.  Just point and shoot.  You won't miss in such close quarters, but you still have to worry about what is behind the target.  You don't want to take out a family member in the process of defending them and yourself.  

It takes a whole lot of training to become proficient enough with a handgun to actually hit what you're aiming at when you're scared to death, shaking and adrenaline is pumping through your body.  You NEVER point a gun at a person unless you mean to kill him.  Period.  Too many people make that mistake in home defense situations thinking the mere sight of a gun will frighten off a perpetrator.  It takes some big cajones to keep your head clear and pull that trigger.

Simply taking a gun safety or licensing course isn't enough.  You have to practice, practice and practice some more until operating a handgun safely and quickly reaches auto-pilot status.  That takes time and money - ammo isn't exactly cheap these days depending on the weapon.  Without that kind of dedication to training, you're more likely to shoot yourself, an unintended target or worse, lose your gun to the perp.

Martial arts and self-defense courses are great tools for women in particular. Most of us have no idea how to react to physical violence.  You don't have to be at a black belt level to have the skills to defend yourself and give yourself a chance to get away from a dangerous situation.  Again, it takes practice so that your reaction is automatic.  If you have to think about it, you're dead.

Another thing you can do is ask a police officer to stop by your home and evaluate it for security weaknesses.  I did that when we bought our home and I'm really glad I did.  It's amazing how safe we believe our homes to be, when in fact, most of them are very easy to break into.

The point is that most people can (and should) learn basic self-defense skills.  The police can only clean up after the mess.  Unfortunately, it's up to us as individuals to prevent the mess from happening in the first place.  Law enforcement can't lock up someone who "might" do something no matter how many alarming reports they receive of escalating craziness.  Unless and until a law has been broken, you're on your own.
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1032715_tn?1315987834
I have to say it, I'm glad we don't have such relaxed gun laws in Australia,it is really hard to get a gun license here.I don't know anyone that owns a gun in my circle of friends,you have to remember guns can be taken from you and used against you.I refuse to ever have a gun in my home.If someone is intent on doing you harm unless you have a firearm within reach you won't stop them,who would have a gun within reach,especially if you have children.

Denise
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Avatar_f_tn
In the US if the gun laws did not stand as they did, only the bad guys would have guns. They already have more firepower and hollow point bullets that are illegal but still around and used.
I was taught (US Federal officer) for women the best protection is to sleep with your door locked (to give you a few seconds) and a shotgun, the click click is a well known sound that scares people away leaving you unharmed. If they keep coming anyone can shot off the hip and spray the shot in the direction and hit the intruder.
It takes only 20 feet for someone to close the distance between you and your weapon so you can't second guess, or try and hit them somewhere non lethal,  or carry a tiny gun that wont stop someone....its defend and continue to defend until the person is rendered helpless then Id keep the gun on them and get the police on the phone (if this has not happened yet or get out however you can staying as far as you can from them, they might be faking.
Hopefully things don't come to this, but we don't live in a hopeful society :/
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82861_tn?1333457511
I've experienced terror and the need for self defense living alone in my rent home after a divorce. Three men tried to break in at 11:30 at night after I'd gone to bed.  One in front and two round the back.  My bedroom was on the second floor.

I always kept my shotgun loaded under the bed, so I grabbed it and closed the bedroom door.  With the shotgun in one arm and the telephone in the other, I called the police.  I wasn't going to go downstairs looking for trouble, but had that bedroom door opened I was prepared to fire.  My entire body was shaking, but I know well the spread of my 12 gauge.  No way could I have defended myself with a handgun with that much adrenaline in my system.

Never will I forget what the idiot police dispatcher said when I whispered the situation to her.  "Ma'am, you need to put down your weapon right now."  WTH?!  No, I'll put it down when the officers arrive.  Why the h*ll do you think I have this thing?!

I thank God those men never actually got in the house and I wasn't forced to shoot anyone.  But as God is my witness, I would have done it if I'd had to.  The cops showed up fast with lights and sirens and the men took off in their pickup truck.  It gets better.  The only thing they could charge the driver with was drunk driving.  The other two were off the hook.  Scarred doors notwithstanding, there was no "proof" they attempted to break in my house.

The whole incident only reinforces my belief that the police exist only as cleanup crews.  When it comes to protection, you're on your own.
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757137_tn?1347200053
I can't believe you are from Texas. I have friends down there and police told them that if a someone broke into their property they should shoot him before he got inside the house. They also said to drag him inside before calling the police.
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Avatar_f_tn
I know laws have changed in TX, with the castle laws you can defend your home. I live in FL and we finally had the laws changed to being allowed to defend ourselves without needing to prove we retreated and were in mortal danger.
Really am I supposed to ask "excuse me sir are you armed or just robbing me?"

I don't have a fatal weapon for protection at the moment because I have a child in my home so for now I have a phone, pepper spray, and a Stun Gun (which is really a last ditch effort weapon since I have to get close enough to hit a large muscle group which means I am close enough to be killed.)


On the original post I am divorcing a someone who abuses crack cocaine, and unless he wants something to keep getting high he stays FAR away, he's more dangerous (now that I don't attempt to deal with him while he is high or has been for days and is now paranoid)  sober when he's able to think clearly.  
Everyone is different and don't count on a retraining order to keep someone from breaking the law. Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way, if someone is willing to do illegal things the last thing they care about is a piece of paper that carrys a misdemeanor charge.  Don't get me wrong it will help if you call the police but keep a real signed copy with you at all times, not a copy.
Also is this man by chance on probation?
Lastly talk to your local domestic violence shelter for safety ideas and help. There is also Nar-anon which is a support group for people affected by others addictions and I would guess if you have one near you there is someone who has walked in shoes that look like the ones you are walking this mile in.
If you want more about Nar-anon send me a message and I can try and help you find a group or share my experience, strength, and hope!

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535822_tn?1389452880
I would have done the same thing you did ... I also believe you are you own...ever sailed the oceans through Columbia  down past the Panama ...trust me you need your guns your ammo and anything including a machete  
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757137_tn?1347200053
Probably the only way to be safe is to leave town. As for orders of protection, they do not protect against nutso people. All the order can do is allow to you have a violator arrested. But that threat would not stop people out of control. Move away, if you can.
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1331083_tn?1285915954
If you have no criminal bk ground to prevent you from buying a gun i would get my *** to the pawn shop and buy one you NEVER know what a crack-head may do and he may try the nice act to get in yourhome and then there is no telling!!!Calling the policeis great but by the time they usualy arrive it's to late that is why i say purchace a gun if you can and use it if you have to!!!
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535822_tn?1389452880
Great interesting thread guys ....some good info from you jaybay and all....think I'll go reread it...seen the latest news about Clinton to sign a small arms treaty with the UN ....hummmmm    2nd amenment guys get writing to your congressman .Leave my guns alone '
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82861_tn?1333457511
Yes, I'm really in Texas, and no we aren't a bunch of paranoid gun totin' red necks looking for someone to shoot.  Certainly we have the right to protect ourselves with firearms, but the idea of shooting someone and moving the body inside is a myth.  The location doesn't matter but the situation does.  If you perceive yourself to be in immediate mortal danger inside or outside your home, you have the right to defend yourself.  If you go off your property with a handgun, you'd better have a license to carry it.  

Inside or outside, you also have to ALWAYS be aware of what is behind your target.  For the average person, chances are good that trying to shoot a fleeing bad guy will result in a miss.  So where does the bullet go?  The room where your kids are?  Straight through the window and somewhere outside? The house next door or across the street?  A passing vehicle?  A pedestrian?  If you've got a high-power handgun or rifle, that bullet will keep going through the bad guy and whatever or whoever is on the other side.  That's a whole lot to think about when you go for a firearm for self defense and actually find yourself in a high-adrenaline situation where you have to use it.  Just one more reason why you have to practice regularly and don't even think about using a gun until your autopilot is firmly kicked in.

I'm fairly certain that's why the dispatcher told me to put down my shotgun.  My voice was shaking right along with the rest of me.  How would the dispatcher have a clue I knew what I was doing?  No doubt she was also saying what she was trained to say.  Whatever.  I know my capabilities and I know my limitations.  I was in the house and she wasn't.
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