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How to get over domestic violence?
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How to get over domestic violence?

Hi, i'm 22 and currently 25 weeks pregnant with my second child. I left my boys' dad when i was 9 weeks pregnant as i finally realised it wasnt good for my nearly 3 year old son or the new baby, as our son was starting to fight his dad back when he got violent towards me, and the fact i was pregnant with his 2nd child didnt stop him either. I'v been living in a refuge miles away from him and my family since november and am really starting to get down about being a single mum to 2 boys who's father doesnt care about them. I grew up with an alcoholic dad myself so know more than enough about how neglect from parents can affect kids in later life and i'm really worried my unborn child will resent me, not so much my 3 year old as he remembers why we left and tells me alot how he's happy daddy doesnt live in 'this house' with us.
I've been to the doctors recently but keep getting told its just pregnancy hormones but i really dont think it is any more, is there anywhere i can go thatwill take me seriously and not just blame hormones!!? X
3 Comments Post a Comment
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13167_tn?1327197724
Considering your situation right now,  you'd have to be very,  very irrational not to be worried about  your circumstances and the future of your children.

You're young,  single,  homeless and will very soon have two preschoolers.  It doesn't take pregnancy hormones for someone to get very worried and upset in that situation!  So I think you're reacting in a completely normal way,  that anyone would react.

It seems the only way to begin to feel hope is to start to do something about your future.  You don't say what kind of a refuge you're in,  but I'm sure they have access to outreach programs,  and social workers who can help you figure out day care and get job skills and maybe Section 8 housing,  etc.

Your hormones aren't imbalanced - that's your good sense talking to you!

Best wishes.
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3060903_tn?1398568723
I absolutely agree with RR it makes perfect sense that you're feeling unbalanced right now. With independence comes power, so reach out and talk to a counselor about you getting an education so that you can get a job where you feel you belong, and are needed. If you haven't gotten your GED, there may be places for you to go to get one, and maybe with babysitting available. I know there are many programs for people under the age of 25 that are free.  It would REALLY help if we knew where you were living, what refuge you have sought. Also, what town your in, maybe we could help look up resources for you?

Please feel that your children are a blessing from God just for you. Enjoy their beauty, and always, nurture their intelligence. Think about getting some hobbies and interests , i know it's tough financially, but you can start by drawing, all you need is a pencil. Make sure you get yourself to a library, and start reading some of the classics. Maybe check out free websites that can help you to write a short story?  With or without money, you can move forward in your life with hobbies. Plan on hobbies that you want to do, when you have a little more money as well.

Please, be hopeful for the future. You can meet a wonderful man who is a responsible family man. All you need to be is responsible, spiritual, and loving and caring to your children to make an impression on some wonderful man. Don't jump into another relationship with someone who is not a family man. Wait until you find one that you won't have to throw back. You'll find him, or he'll  find you. Think about getting involved in a single parent's group, and maybe you'll meet some fine women and men friends. If you're a Christian, think about joining a single Christian meeting group, online. Just be very careful and don't ever put yourself or your kids in harms way.

I'm so glad that you've found us :) Please reach out by private message to anyone on here that you think you'd like to know. That's what were here for. It helps to make friends on here, to touch base with and that will support you through what you need to do for yourself. I'll send you a message.okay? xoxox Liz
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5039239_tn?1364028271
You are a smart lady for leaving. It will get better, as time goes on. Try to get talking with a abuse counsellor, someone who will be supportive of your situation, as an abused single mom. Do not ever doubt your decision on leaving an abusive person. Nobody has to put up with abuse. You are a very good mom. Share your feelings about this and don't give up. Get lots of support, keep reaching out. Keep up the good work MOM and stay positive.
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