I am having MAJOR memory problems

I have to go to court next week and testify against someone who physically assaulted me. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I have blocked out this assault. A detective showed me pictures of the assault and you would think that would spark some part of my memory but it didn't. This assault happened a few hours before a second assault by someone else. During the second assault my nose was broken, my sinus cavity was fractured 2 of my fillings were knocked out, and i was almost strangled to death. During the first attack i hit my head and suffered a concussion. You can see why I am having memory trouble. These attacks were in April. I spent most of the summer in the hospital dealing with my trauma but I still can't remember. I don't like being pushed into remembering. I was told by my doctor that I should not be pushed and that my brain is doing what it needs to do to protect me. She also said that to push me into remembering could be very dangerous for me and people around me. If I cant remember what happened they cant prosecute these individuals. It seems ok for the defendants to postpone the hearings when they want to but when I want to due to medical reasons I can't. I need advice from someone who has been there Thanks.

[Cherie762]

how very unfair indeed, it often seems the criminals have more rights than the victims, not right.I understand your delemia===pushing to rember could be dangerous, yet you do want them to be punished and not hurt anyone else

usually i can come up with some advice for people, but not this time,I understand but this is way out of my expertise.ood luck to you, do you have family friends that support and help you??

[jo929]

I really do feel for you, but i would hesitate to advise you, maybe you should listen to the Dr for now, because you do need to be protected, Later after a healing period you may remember  i do wish you luck  jo

[RockRose]

They must have other evidence, don't they?  If this is going to trial and you don't have any memory of the incident,  somehow they know who did it (or have very good evidence).

Can't they go with that?  Murdered people don't have to testify to have murderers convicted,  why is it necessary that you testify?  You aren't able to.

Best wishes.  I really hope this goes forward.

[AnnaE]

I cannot believe this happened you. What does your lawyer say? Is this a criminal hearing, or a hearing for damages? If it is criminal, let your therapist talk to the prosecutor. If it is for damages, let your doctor or therapist talk to your lawyer.

Either way, like RR says, there must be other evidence. We all know you were injured because of medical data, Is there something to put the perpetraors at the scene, or give them motive?

Best of luck and healing .

[AnnaE]

About remembering, my most recent abuse, I can recall every detail. It is just that I cannot put together the full meaning right away. But this was emotional abuse with some physical. But the emotional took the forefront fro various reasons. Maybe the physical/sexual was too confusing to absorb, and I discounted the details. We often discout details because we cannot handle the meaning, or damage, or the pain. We cannot fit these into our life/minds because they overwhelm us. A therapist would say the same, plus many more words that are meaningful. A therapist can testify to this. You need one involved in this. The state or whover should get you one. Make sure the person knows this area of abuse well.

My chikd hood abuse was not comprehensible to me, because I could not understand the meaning of the details, and the feelings were overwhelming. The psycho abuse by my ex was sadistic, but it gave him a power over me that was tremendous. I did not understand all this for many, many years.

I think it would do you good to read something written by victims, but it needs to be carefully chosen.

Everyone is here to help you or support you. We will not criticize you, or expect you to do what we would do. I offer only suggestions and examples from my life, in case they give you insight on your ouw.. you will decide what you need.

Write anytime. You can even send personal messages to any member, if you want to talk one on one.

Anna

[Lexxie1018]

Hi there, I dont know what brought me to here, but I too was brutally assaulted.  It has been over seven months ago.  I can NOT remember all of it; however, I do remember parts of it.  There are daily things I cant remember either.  This has effected my memory in very strange ways.  I have seen several doctors, one of them told me that it could take anywhere from six months to a year for the brain to heal.  (I am currently waiting on this) Anyway, Just a question to ask if you can remember ANY of it.  I too will have to go to court to testify.  I am scared as I am sure you are too.  May peace be with you.  Our brains will block out certain things....and perhaps you will never remember what all happened that terrible night.  I doubt if I will remember either.  I have flashbacks on what I do remember and terrible nightmares.  Did you go to court?  I wish you all the best and would also say that a counselor might be of a great help to you.  I also saw one.  I am almost scared to post this.....but I will.  I hope this helps some...if I can help you in any way just let me know.

[AnnaE]

I am so sorry that this happened to you. Take good care of yourself.

I am sure this will help wtf, if she is still reading the forum. It will help others too. I wish you could post it again and call attention to your subject, but I know you have fears.

I still have flashbacks and NM s childhood abuse. This is so recent for you, It must hurt. I felt I learned something by reading your post. About memory.

Maybe group therapy would help you too. I have had many years of therapy and group. Write again, if youhave questions or need to communicate.

[MS404]

I was assaulted after being drugged at a work function. I can remember clearly parts of the assault however I am sure there are more parts that I only have flashbacks and nightmares about. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and sever depression from the incident and the sooner women stand up for what they know has happened, and are able to go to court, take these predators on, the better. If we don't all  yell and scream out loud when these things happened (even if the memories come and go) the sooner women will be safer. I have lost my job, my well being, friends, social ability, self esteem, relationships, and feel 'lost' most days, just sitting waiting for fatigue to take me to bed. The courts, police systems and those who are in charge of these monsters always want to make it difficult for us because it threatens them. Women are precious, smart, capable beings and most businesses are run by men who find these kinds of women a threat, so will stand by and watch while we are crushed. Stand up for yourselves, and tell as many people as you can when something happens to you that is against your free will. Only then will our friends, sisters, daughters be safe in the future.

I had major manifestations in my reproductive system that I could not get rid of for the 3 years since this happened to me, and once I finally had a nervous breakdown (after this same man was encouraged to sexually abuse me in my place of work after the physical assault) and I then had to explain what I felt lead to my breakdown, and I was able to tell the right people what had happened, the physical symptoms began to clear themselves up. These kinds of things had an untold affect on your entire being, if they are suppressed.

As for trying to remember what happened and for your well being, find a simple meditation that you can do for about half an hour each day, and you will find your entire body will respond and give you the answers you need, and also the strength to get through this. I pray for guidance and peace in my mind and body every day. If you are at all spiritual I would suggest both these things. God bless you, and I am praying and hoping you (all) get through your trauma, and also bring the men who did this to you down and knock them out of society.

[margypops]

This thread was very old now maybe you didnt realise ..but the information may help others hope you are okay

[heyjude1]

I would have my lawyer talk with judge and tell him what you are going thru and see if the trial can be delayed for awhile.  At least talk to the lawyer or the judge yourself so he understands what is happening.  You need to make sure of everything and be honest, if your memory is bad you could recount the wrong person, not remember is exactly what happened, etc.  You need to be sure of things, this affects others life too.  You don't want the guilty party to walk but you don't want to see someone spend years of their life behind bars if you don't rememvber all the facts.