Is it just me, or are my parents psychologically abusive?

I just turned 17 and my whole life i have struggled with depression and severe anxiety. I was always told that my parents were just "hot tempered" and so i never thought anything of it until recently. My boyfriend of a year and a half has told me he believes my parents, especially my dad is verbally and mentally abusive, and im realizing that he's right. I NEVER felt i had a close bond with my dad. He never really hugged, kissed, or told me he loved me. My whole childhood i knew him as a yell and screamer who was always unhappy with something going on. Now my parents both HATE my boyfriend because he's fat. Ive talked with them countless times about it but they will not accept me being with somebody who is apparently in a "lower class than me." My father calls my boyfriend degrading, disgusting things as well as his family, and it hurts me because no matter what i can't stick up for him or else ill get in trouble. At one point he told me he wanted to **** down his throat and this made me want to vomit. My mother is always coming to me and telling me what a "lowlife" he is and addresses him as a "fatfuck" around me. They both disregard  how much we care about each other, and my boyfriend has never hurt or mistreated me in any way. I have a younger brother who is 14, and he has sever anger issues. he puts holes in his walls and screams till he cant talk. My father like me has never shown him any real love, and is always screaming at my brother calling him things like a "motherfucker," **********, daralic, worthless, stupid, *******, and things like that. To me he's less direct with the name calling, but both my parents make it clear to me what a dissapointment i am because i choose to date my boyfriend. They've even bribed me with college, saying that if i stay with him i have to go to college close to home. And God forbid i marry him, they wont show to the wedding or let us be part in the family. I cry so easily and when i get upset my mom degrades me even more saying that im weak and i have to grow and toughen up. My brother is hangin with the wrong crowd now and is smoking weed, and ive thought of resorting to drugs like him too. Ive been taken to the hospital and sent home from school 3 times for wanting to kill myself, and i still would rather be dead, but i love my boyfriend with all my heart, and he keeps telling me that we can make it. My therapist has just about given up on me because my parents refuse to come in and talk, they don't want to at all feel responsible for the way i am. I have no clue what i'm supposed to do its becoming impossible for me to keep living like this.

[margypops]

This is very hard for you, what I feel you need right now is a counsellor , someone you can talk to, your parents sound as if they also need some counselling but you have to concentrate on you, you are an adult at 18 so then you can decide where you want to live and what you want to do. Have you any other relatives you can talk to, from what you have said it does sound as if you all have an inter-action problem and your brother also.With the behavior of your father and indeed your Mother  you do need help, I am sorry they dont like your boyfriend ,maybe you will have to spend less time in their company so you can cope and when they shout /say mean things go into your own room . Quite honestly you need some outside help so does your brother the best advice I can give you would be to see a school counsellor and tell them what is happening. Good Luck let us know how you get on..

[teko]

I think you need to sit down and try to talk with your parents.  I hated my mom and dad too when I was your age.  I cannot feel comfortable with making a judgement in your situation because as I said, when I was 17 I didnt like my folks either and when my kids were 17, they did not like me much either. Now everyone loves everyone. I married someone on the heavier side and let me tell ya, it aint no picnic. Not cause they are heavy so much, but I am very active wanting to get out and swim, play tennis, bike etc. He likes to hold the couch down, munch, and watch tv and take naps.  I think this is probably what your parents are trying to warn you about, in their not so tasteful way.  If I were your parents, I would build him up cause usually if the parent does not care for someone we are dating, it just pushes us closer to that person. Go c your school counselor.

[nikkieh]

My heart goes out to you. I went though the exact same situation in my family growing up. You need to get counceling becasue it doesnt get any better as you get older. The important thing to remeber is that it is your life and its up to you to become the person you want to be. If you parents or whoever cant love you for who you are then its their lost.

[mcmcorp45]

I agree with nikkieh 100%, just stay strong. Get involved in something at school to stay out of the house, and defiantly see your school counselor.

Matt

[jo929]

Please keep up with the counceling, and you are only 17, and need the education if you get married now you will never know who was right or wrong, i agree that the parents should be more understanding, but some are not, so try to hang in there until you get an education, and become an adult You do not want to end up flipping hamburgers for a living.  luck  jo

[cmcooper6]

I'm also 17 and i'm in about the same boat. My parents aren't quite as bad but i started on drugs a year ago and i've ended up inthe worst shape possible. I agree with the comments above but i mainly just wanna stress to you not to get into ANY sort of drugs. It's a quick fix but in the long run you'll be in a worse situation. I was never suicidal until about a year after being on ocycontin.. Stay strong and most importantly stay clean.