Is this mental abuse?

[geckopaws]

Well I have a mom who is going to be my personal care attendant while I'm injured and can't do anything or walk.  But she takes my meds sometimes and eats them like candy behind my back.  Because I keep count of how many meds I got and they seem to be going more and more missing. I don't like the fact that she is sneaky and lies about taking my meds.  I wouldn't mind giving any to her she just has to ask.  And I don't want to so short that I'm stuck with excruciating pain when she has none.  So I just told her how many she took?  And she got up and said well you can be alone then with your meds.  Like she was trying to make me feel guilty is this a type of emotional abuse?  

[allmymarbles]

No, it is not abuse. Your mother is becoming addicted to your pain medication. And why would you give her any if she asked? That would make you complicit. Talk to your doctor about the situation.

[margypops]

Its not abuse but I also feel that some help is needed here , have you discussed it with her and told her how you feel, asked her to stop it ,you say you dont mind giving her them but they may not be good for her.

[jo929]

You are 27, have you always lived with mom, are you well otherwise, can you live by yourself if someone did help you, also can you manage your own money, if so and you have some check or way to live maybe you can get someone else as a caregiver, is mom mentally ill or is she hooked on drugs a lot of questions i know i just needed to know whether you can make it on your own with another caregiver  luck to you jo also maybe you can go to a nursing facility until you can walk would that help  and no it is not abuse  jo

[geckopaws]

Yes I've lived on my own for about a year and a half.  Then I left a bad situation and returned to her home and well then the accident happened and I am applying for housing.  And yes my mom is already addicted to to her pain killers that she gets from her own doctor.  But she eats them like candy.  And if I found cheap enough housing yes I could live on my own which I'm trying to do.  She wants to be my PCA though and get paid for it.  And yeah I didn't think it was abuse either, but sometimes I heard there are many forms of abuse.  Its just takes my pain meds without asking.  Actually she takes a lot of things without asking that is why I don't like living with her.  

[jo929]

it might be better to keep the application up for housing, and they furnish so much help free or if you know someone else to help to be happy and well is the goal  good luck and get well fast  luck  jo

[geckopaws]

Hi well I just got out of surgery and I wanted to explain if this is abuse or not in one of my other topics.  Its about a doctor and what he said and did.  Anyways I like your suggestions.  Though I think this is abuse against the disabled.  Is there any site that you can report abuse to from a doctor when you are mentally disabled as well as physically.  

[kathy434]

Here I am again!

Your mother should not be taking ANY of your medications, much less pain medication.  If you have to lie on your pill containers to keep her out of them, so be it.  She is not a good care assistant for you.  Call medicare and find out who you can contact for after surgery care nursing.  Explain what has been happening to you.  This is abuse!  You can also call your family physician for help.  He can put you in touch with the proper people.  Employ them.  Medicare also covers after surgery care nursing.  So don't think you don't qualify.

Your mother sounds to be addicted to pain medications.  Don't even enable her with giving her any of yours.  You will need this medication, and to get refills you must follow a schedule set by your doctor's prescription.  Your mother is trying to quilt-trip you into her getting her way.  Don't fall for it.  You have NOTHING to feel guilty about.  And pay her to nurse you?  What a load of you know what !  Completely bypass her "caring" and fend for yourself with outside services.  And put ALL your meds under your direct care so she cannot get to them.  YOU need them.  She needs to get help but only she can do that.  If her doctor is not paying attention to this matter, you may also need to give him a call to wake him up, before something dreadful happens and he gets sued.   Lay on your meds!  Put them under your pillow.  Keep them in a noisey bag and hidden.  Only you should be taking your medication!  Maybe this is what the surgeon was concerned about????                  K