This community is for discussions relating to emotional, physical, sexual, social, spiritual, spousal, and verbal abuse. Please note, this community is not monitored by professionals, rather questions will be answered by other members of the community.
Blaming yourself for having become addicted to this drug is not productive. Recognizing that you are addicted IS productive. And wanting to get well now is absolutely fantastic. You need to take charge of your life with the recognition that addiction is something that comes easily for you and therefore you must always be careful not to overindulge in any thing or substance that could become addictive. Even cigarretts! Seeing that your family members have had addiction issues themselves makes it more believeable that this gene can be passed from one family member to another through the generations. Your child can also be easily addictable. So keeping your life as clean as possible, you will do him an enormous favor toward staying healthy himself.
As well as using this forum mentioned to you, you may need to have more intervention help than just talk. Contact your local community mental health services and ask about their "sliding scale" for payment determination amounts. For some it determines one must pay full fee, for others it may amount to partial payment fees, and for some it may waive the fee altogether. Nobody is turned away. So contact them. IF you cannot find an answer, contact your Crisis Line for information, or your local hospitals. You can get help. You just need to be determined to get it. Good luck and keep in touch. K