My Fault

[sadmomma4]

I grew up being told everything was my fault right down to my dads drinking and my parents divorce literally everything!  So of course I still believe everything is all my fault!  Not like batural disasters but anything bad in my life is my own fault!  I see this as owning up to my mistakes, others see it has a problem.  I don't know I think I need to work harder at being a good person!
How do I fix this so I can be happy?  It's really hard to be happy when you mess up your life so much!

[kenneltech]

There isn't anything to do to become a better person, you already are!!  When I was young, all the way up until the old ***** died, I was a mistake.  Everyone in my family thought I was a mistake.  Oh, it couldn't be THERE fault, it was mine! Except that one day I took a real long look at who exactly was telling me I was a mistake.  I LAUGHED MY BUTT OFF!  These were some serious losers, and had some serious problems.  I don't know where you are in life, but it sounds like you are taking up where your parents left off, and that is so wrong on so many levels.

First of all, you were made by your maker (call it what you want), who made all the rest of us, and he don't make no junk!  There is nothing wrong with you except your attitude is setting you up to fail, and if even the smallest thing happens in whatever your doing, you will look at it as it being your fault.  In all actuality, **** happens!  Hon, get some therapy and start standing tall and be proud of the things that you DO have, stop worrying constantly about what you don't have or if you measure up, because, in the scheme of things, you do.

[RockRose]

sadmomma,  I think you need a really good therapist to unravel your psyche,  like layers of an onion.

It sounds like in your childhood you were blamed for things that weren't your fault,  and now you're making really poor choices that ARE your fault and you're having a hard time separating what is truly your fault in adulthood,   from a bad childhood.  

Best wishes.  I really think a very good therapist could unravel this and put you on the road to stop making bad choices that are making you unhappy.

[margypops]

The others are right, you need to start to take control of your life that is past, if you cant get past it some therapy may help you, they were inadequate does'nt mean you have to be now, focus on making your life everything it should be, they are the losers not you Good Luck

[cheshchesh819]

How have you messed up your life,your parents problems were there problems not yours and they never had any right to blame you for their failures in life,you need to start believing in yourself more and stop blaming yourself for others mistakes

[AnnieBrooke]

See what you can find, a book or good online site, about children of alcoholics.  They often have this tendency to want to please everyone in order to try to make things all right (when, of course, having a drinking parent is out of a child's control and is not all right).  Look up "Adult Children of Alcoholics" for some good info.