I am married to a man that is bipolar. We have 3 children. I am at a turning point in my life right now. He is manic right now and has been gone 4 weeks. He refuses to hear reason. I have considered committing him but dont know how to go about doing it. He refuses to believe there is anything wrong with him. He has spent all of our money, he has been unfaithful.....Is there anything I can do, or is this a lost cause?
Sounds like you do need help ,I think you really need to speak to someone about him, why not start with the doctor tell him whats happening he may refer you, has he left you maybe its time to tell him he cannot come back ,if you have children and he yells a not or is abusive its bad for them.Ask for a social worker visit they will tell you how you can comitt him if they consider he is unstable enough ..
I'm so sorry to hear what is happening :( I pray for you and your family.
My daddy has bipolar. I'm 16, and I've dealt with this all my life. My mom has been with him for 22 years (18 married, 4 dating). Its them, me, and my younger twin sisters, Kelly and Shannon. My dad is an over-the-road truck drive, slightly alcoholic, and spends more time "down" than "up".
I know how hard it can be, especially when it gets to the point where they won't listen. My parents have threatened to break up once or twice over my life. I can't speak from the point of view of someone in the relationship, but I can say this:
If you think he needs help, get him help. Call the city on him, do something. He might--actually, probably will---not be at-all pleased with you at first. But in the long run, he will be grateful you did it. My dad has been hauled in to AA twice and once to a therapist. (He won't take medications, but the experience made him a better person). If he has to spend a little time in a hospital, so be it. You should be able to prove that he's manic right now, and they can therefore keep him under a 72-hour psych watch. The problem is, he can refuse treatment after that. But sometimes, those 72 hours can be enough for a person to see the problem and get help.
If he refused help after the psych watch, I say do what's best for your family. My dad doesn't run out our money or cheat on my mom, so I can't speak for that part. And I understand that you would still have feelings for him, but if it doesn't look like he's going to get treatment, I would make the tough decision to pack up and do what's best for you and your children. After all, you all need money to survive, and you all deserve a stable enviroment to live in. Maybe taking away everything from him will wake him up enough to want to get help. I'm of course not saying get divorced, but just leave for a little while, and make him see what he's done to you.
if you can, talk to friends and family about this. I dont' know you personally, I'm goign off a couple of words, so I can't speak from that kind of experience. Follow your heart, pray, see what your gut instinct is to do. If you think you can stick it out, do so; but if you can't, don't keep taking the brunt of this.
I hope this helps you, and I hope everything works out in the end.
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